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America's Funniest Home Videos

WGNAMER

Aired on Tuesday, Nov 10, 2009 (11/10/2009) at 04:02 PM

Transcript

00:00:00Or stop waxing the floor.
00:00:02(barking) (laughter) (barking) (laughs) MOVE!
00:00:16I'm not sure, but I hope this is a stunt granny.
00:00:19OH! (laughter) (speaking in foreign language) Apparently, elmo's world has been turned upside down!
00:00:35(woman laughs) YOU LOOK SO GOOFY!
00:00:38(man speaks indistinctly) Mama!
00:00:42Dada. mama. dada, dada!
00:00:45Dada!
00:00:47(coos) (girls laughing) It's the last run of the day, not for him-- for that little girl.
00:00:57(woman laughs) OH, SPENCER!
00:00:59(screams) OH, NO!
00:01:01(man laughs) OH, SPENCER!
00:01:03-- a weapon of mass drenching.
00:01:09(kids) OHH!
00:01:12(laughing) steep-- lucky this tree stops his slide and his dreams of becoming a father.
00:01:24(laughter) (cheering) YOU KNOW, EVERY PRESIDENT... (man) WHOO!
00:01:34In the last century has had a dog.
00:01:36Now you may have heard recently, president bush's dog barney bit a reporter.
00:01:42President clinton's dog buddy once ate an entire box of a reporter's doughnuts.
00:01:45THESE ARE ALL TRUE THINGS. (laughter) Presidt ford took his labrador out to do his "business" one night.
00:01:51President ford locked himself out of the white house.
00:01:54Teddy roosevelt's terrier pete chased the french ambassador through the rose garden, cho--chewed a big hole in his pants.
00:01:59Now these next pooches may not be the first dog, but they're first in our book.
00:02:09It's more fun than when you usually use a shovel after your dog.
00:02:15(laughter) ♪♪♪♪
00:02:24when a tail meets a tailpipe.
00:02:28(laughter) (growling) So this is what they do when they're not playing poker.
00:02:48(laughter) (man) THERE WE GO.
00:02:57Don't you bite me.
00:02:59Here's how you can take your dog for a walk without ever leaving the comfort of your chair.
00:03:07(speaks indistinctly) ..
00:03:11(man) SMILE, TARA. BIG SMILE.
00:03:14Big smile, tara. come on.
00:03:16Come on, tara, smile.
00:03:19Give me a smile.
00:03:21Tara, give me a smile.
00:03:22Tara, give me a smile.
00:03:24 look at that smile!
00:03:27I don't know what that dog is digging for, but I'll bet he finds a bath.
00:03:35(laughter) (cheering) You know, some people love to be scared.
00:03:50They can't get enough of horror movies, haunted houses or even worse, they can't stop checking their stock portfolio.
00:03:57For others, getting a fright is far from a delight.
00:04:01 I don't know who's more afraid-- the cat, the rat or the lady.
00:04:07See it? see it?
00:04:09Whoa! whoa! whoa!
00:04:12Whoa!
00:04:17There is no snooze button on an alarm pot.
00:04:23(clanging) (laughing) That's not the real troy aikman, but it is a real snake.
00:04:38(girl) LOOK OUT!
00:04:40(laughing) ♪♪♪♪
00:04:49stop!
00:04:52I've got a real bad back!
00:04:57(woman) SAY SOMETHING TO THE CAMERA.
00:05:00" " spider-man. that's spider-man?
00:05:06Spider-man. look at daddy.
00:05:08YOU'RE THE MAN? ARE YOU THE MAN? AAH! (crying) Why don't you just, like, rip it?
00:05:14I don't know what kind of car he wanted, but he got a viper.
00:05:20(screams) (laughter) OKAY. (hisses) (hisses) NO, WASH TIME.
00:05:31(continues hissing) OH, CAN YOU GRAB ME THE, ..
00:05:34She needs some soap, a towel and a needle and thread.
00:05:40The, um, blue thing.
00:05:43What--oh, man!
00:05:45(laughter) ♪♪♪♪
00:05:55you know, "girl crazy" usually describes a boy who can't stop thinking about girls, but for this next montage, it's a question and an answer-- girl? crazy.
00:06:08(Emily) ♪♪ SO YOU HAD SOME BAD LUCK ♪♪
00:06:09♪♪ Life sucks, can't do nothin' right ♪♪
00:06:11♪♪ you took some wrong turns, got burned way too many times ♪♪
00:06:16♪♪ and so you fall back with all that ♪♪
00:06:18.. ♪♪
00:06:22careful. ow.
00:06:23 this can't be happening again ♪♪
00:06:27 ♪♪
00:06:29♪♪ I can't take much more of this" ♪♪
00:06:31♪♪ you put your time in, paid your dues ♪♪
00:06:34♪♪ believe me, I know how you feel ♪♪
00:06:39♪♪ I guess you gotta make a choice ♪♪
00:06:42♪♪ when it hits the fan ♪♪
00:06:44♪♪ you can get a little down or get a little mad ♪♪
00:06:47♪♪ when there's stones in the road, only one thing to do ♪♪
00:06:51♪♪ you gotta learn to walk with rocks in your shoes ♪♪
00:06:56 ♪♪
00:06:58♪♪♪♪
00:07:00♪♪ ooh, ooh ♪♪
00:07:03♪♪ I guess you gotta make a choice ♪♪
00:07:06♪♪ when it hits the fan ♪♪
00:07:07♪♪ you can get a little down or get a little mad ♪♪
00:07:11♪♪ when there's stones in the road, only one thing to do ♪♪
00:07:14♪♪ you gotta learn to walk with rocks in your shoes ♪♪
00:07:19(crash) (cheering) SEND US YOUR F÷ñ?í í?ñ/ícñ íGísñ "(1@0 hi!
00:07:31get that's yours.
00:07:35 - you can get out.
00:07:40Hi. what can I get for this?
00:07:42..
00:07:44With all the amenities in a meaty, melty McDOUBLE.
00:07:47OR MAYBE AN irresistible McChicken, golden fries, ..
00:07:53That are always here for you.
00:07:54- Eh? - wow!
00:07:55THE DOLLAR MENU.EVERY DAY, ONLY at McDonald's.
00:07:58♪♪ Ba da ba ba ba ♪♪
00:08:00nancy's hosting her first thanksgiving.
00:08:02So she turned to target to get it all for a low price.
00:08:04She expects her in-laws will be thankful it feels like home.
00:08:11She expects, with practice, her flair for fall will be flawless.
00:08:19And thanks to target's great prices, she'll get everything she needs to make her first thanksgiving memorable for all.
00:08:27Target.
00:08:28Expect more. pay less.
00:09:03I I've got some catchphrases that'll make these savings even more memorable.
00:09:08..
00:09:10 now that's ..?
00:09:11Boss: how 'bout this?
00:09:14..they're the bee's knees?
00:09:15Boss: or this?
00:09:18 sir, how 'bout just "fifteen minutes could save you " ha, yeah, good luck with that catching on!
00:09:24 fifteen minutescould save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.
00:10:01child I'm nervous about her going away.
00:10:03(Sunny) THE BAYER METER HELPS ME BECOME More independent.
00:10:06(announcer) ONLY BAYER'S CONTOUR METER Has programmable personal high low settings.
00:10:10I want you to be happy.
00:10:12Don't cry.
00:10:13(announcer)THE CONTOUR METER, Only from bayer.
00:10:16Kmart wait, christmas? didn't we just carve pumpkins?
00:10:19- They have layaway! - genius.
00:10:22EXCLUSIVE Kmart LAYAWAY!
00:10:23Get the hottest giftson your list now, pay a little each week and pickthem up in the nick of time.
00:10:28THERE'S SMART,AND THERE'S Kmart SMART.
00:10:31♪♪♪♪
00:10:34(cheering) Sometimes, a basketball team changes cities, but they keep their old name even if it no longer makes any sense.
00:10:46For example, last time I checked, los angeles didn't have tooany lakes.
00:10:50Utah ain't exactly a hotbed of jazz.
00:10:53I don't know what city these basketballers are from, but I've got, uh, the perfect name for their team-- " after this layup, he'll have to lay down.
00:11:05(boy) OH, SHOOT.
00:11:08Are you all right?
00:11:11(boy) NO WONDER.
00:11:13I bet this sucks.
00:11:15..
00:11:16One's dribbling, and one's drooling.
00:11:19(woman) ARE YOU GETTING THE BALL, ABBY?
00:11:22Shoot it, coleman.
00:11:24(laughs) OH!
00:11:26Hey, pal, this is a "no bragging" court.
00:11:30(man) YEAH!
00:11:32(laughing) (man) I GOT IT ON VIDEO.
00:11:40Violation again! come on.
00:11:43(laughing) Number 747 gets it in the cockpit.
00:11:50Ow!
00:11:52(laughing) This forward is playing a little too forward.
00:12:02Oh!
00:12:03(shouting indistinctly) (man) WHOA.
00:12:08(man) WE'VE ONLY GOT ABOUT TWO MINUTES LEFT, So we better get this one.
00:12:12Forehead, 2 points.
00:12:16(cheering) (man) I'M PRAYING YOU...
00:12:23I don't know if this is a game changer, but it is a game ender.
00:12:29(audience) OH!
00:12:35Okay, here's the problem-- you've got infant quadruplets.
00:12:40All four babies are crying. what do you do?
00:12:43You could bounce them on your knee, but you'd need two more knees.
00:12:47You--you could breast-feed 'em, but, well, you know, same problem.
00:12:50There's only one solution that really makes sense-- put on some johnny cash.
00:12:56(woman) ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS WANT TO HEAR Some johnny cash?
00:13:00(crying) You want to hear johnny cash? okay.
00:13:04(crying) ("Folsom Prison Blues" playing) Amazing.
00:13:10.. ♪♪
00:13:12 ♪♪ it's rollin' 'round the bend ♪♪
00:13:14.. ♪♪ ♪♪
00:13:15and I ain't seen the sunshine ♪♪
00:13:18oh, it's not gonna work for very long for YOU. (crying) ♪♪♪♪
00:13:25okay, we'll just play the first part.
00:13:28♪♪ I hear the train a-comin' ♪♪
00:13:30♪♪ it's rollin' 'round the bend ♪♪
00:13:32.. ♪♪
00:13:35hi, pius.
00:13:38Hi, danna.
00:13:41Hi, laine. hi, grumpy butt.
00:13:44♪♪ I hear the train a-comin' ♪♪
00:13:46♪♪ it's rollin' 'round the bend ♪♪
00:13:48.. ♪♪
00:13:51we all need to brush up on our table manners from time to time, so here are a few to keep in mind-- keep your elbows off the table, wait until everyone's served before you start eating, and if you find a hair in your food, discreetly place it back onto the head of the person to whom it belongs.
00:14:10(laughter) BON APPéTIT.
00:14:12(man) DO IT. THE TONGUE WAS...
00:14:15Apparently, he's not a fan of flan.
00:14:19(woman) COME ON. TWO SHAKES.
00:14:22(laughter) (speaking in foreign language) Oh!
00:14:31Considering she stuck her tongue in an electric mixer, she got off easy.
00:14:38Oh!
00:14:40(man speaking in foreign language) Here's a beagle with "counter" intelligence.
00:14:48♪♪♪♪
00:14:56(laughter) (woman) YEAH?
00:15:01Tomato, ..
00:15:08Pickles.
00:15:10..
00:15:12Yeah, just hold the relish and hold the table!
00:15:16(laughter) Okay.
00:15:21So much for the mess.
00:15:25(giggling) That's what happens when he goes to squish.
00:15:29IT DIDN'T FALL ON THE FLOOR, THOUGH. (man) I know.
00:15:32(woman laughing) (growls) If there's one thing I've learned, it's don't mess with chi chi's corn.
00:15:43(laughing) (growling) (woman) SHH.
00:15:51(growling) (indistinct conversations) (man) WHOOPS.
00:15:59(baby yells) What do you do when you drop a piece of cake on the floor?
00:16:04Not for me. not for me!
00:16:06Easy--pawn it off on the nearest officer.
00:16:12Thank you so much. thank you. you're so nice.
00:16:16Thank you.
00:16:18This is a little, teeny tiny little apple.
00:16:22Actually, it's a little teeny tiny little radish.
00:16:28(man) IS THAT A RADISH?
00:16:31(laughing) I don't like apples!
00:16:41(woman) HERE, LET MOMMY HAVE IT.
00:16:45(cheering) It is a well-known fact that oil and water don't mix.
00:16:52In these next videos, people and water come a close second.
00:16:57I'm getting a few bites.
00:17:01(man) NICE WEATHER ANYWAY.
00:17:03It's easy to see why these guys were outsmarted by the fish.
00:17:08Oh!
00:17:10Oh!
00:17:13(shouting indistinctly) (laughing) (speaking in foreign language) I thought trolls were supposed to live under the bridge.
00:17:27(speaking in a foreign language) (woman screams) (laughter) Hey! hey!
00:17:38(people shouting) When it comes to logrolling, eventually everybody loses.
00:17:44(cheering) OH! (laughter) (shouts) I'd like to get a picture of her, but she's got the camera.
00:18:01It's the postmenopausal pirates of the caribbean.
00:18:06Aah! aah!
00:18:08(man laughs) (screams) I've got it! no, I've missed it!
00:18:21Here's what happens when you take a bow off the bow.
00:18:24(woman) GOOD, LAD. PULL IT IN.
00:18:27(man) DON'T LOOK DOWN. DON'T LOOK DOWN!
00:18:30DON'T LOOK DOWN. (murmurs) (laughter) Oh, he fell in! he just fell in!
00:18:37He fell in!
00:18:41(yelling) (laughter) I'm gonna get you!
00:18:47As if cleaning the toilet didn't stink enough.
00:18:51(giggling) (cheering) You know, sending in your funny video is only one way you can win around here.
00:19:03If you enter the "afv" dream vacation sweepstakes, you could have the chance to win three years of family vacations at your choice of disney destinations or hundreds of other locations around the world courtesy of disney vacation club.
00:19:17So stick around, 'cause later, we'll tell you how you can get in on the action.
00:19:21Tonight, you havean opportunity to enterfor your chance to win the "afv" dream vacation sweepstakes.
00:19:27You and your familycould eny vacations every year for the next three years courtesy of disney vacation club.
00:19:33Imagine taking family vacations at destinations around the world, like the walt disney world resort in florida or the disneyland resortin california, the tropical beaches of hawaii, the caribbean and mexico or big city experiences in new york, london and paris.
00:19:49The options are nearly endless because withdisney vacation club, you decide when and where to vacation at hundreds of destinations around the world.
00:19:57And you'll select the type of accommodations to fit your needs, from a studiofor a weekend getaway to a spacious 3-bedroom villafor the entire family.
00:20:06You at home could be on your way to making magical memories with disney vacation club.
00:20:10Stay tuned to find out how you can enter the "afv" dream vacation sweepstakes.
00:20:44We do when we come up here is take her out to eat.
00:20:48I love when they come visit and so do my roommates.
00:20:50 try our new four cheese stuffed mezzaluna ravioli with shrimp in white wine cream sauce.
00:20:55Or with grilled sausage.
00:20:56Starting at $9.95.
00:20:57At olive garden.
00:20:59Introducing smart shadesmart balance.
00:21:00Make up so smart, it does 2 things at once.
00:21:02One, instantly adjusts to match your skin tone.
00:21:06Two, works throughoutthe day to keep oily areas shine free and dry skinsoftly hydrated.
00:21:12New from almay.
00:22:00money the average family wastes over $500 a year in food.
00:22:06Don't throw it away. protect it in the freezer.
00:22:09..
00:22:12..
00:22:14Saving you money.
00:22:15 designed with you in mind.
00:22:18..
00:22:21Give the same protectionas the leading produce ..
00:22:24For less than halfthe cost.
00:22:26Ziploc.
00:22:26S.c. johnson. a family company.
00:22:30Jeep.
00:22:31♪♪♪♪
00:22:32knowing that, every day,i have a choice to make.
00:22:37..
00:22:40And occasionally,my back.
00:22:42♪♪♪♪
00:22:44or, I can greedily,rightfully, seize every ticking moment andnever give one of them back.
00:22:52♪♪♪♪
00:22:54I live. I ride. I am.
00:22:58Jeep.
00:23:00signof cold...
00:23:01( sneezing ) I didn't takeZicam Cold Remedy...
00:23:04But I did.
00:23:05Can you do it by 3:00 ?
00:23:06Yes, Ian-- how about 2:00 ?
00:23:09Hmm...
00:23:10Get over your cold faster.
00:23:45♪♪♪♪
00:23:51you know, since I started doing this show, people recognize me wherever I go.
00:23:56It's really amazing, though.
00:23:58I get a range of reactions, and I love seeing the looks on their faces.
00:24:02I get everything from elation to annoyance to terror.
00:24:07 you'll--you'll see what i mean.
00:24:10(all) SURPRISE! (screams) (laughing) Aah!
00:24:21(woman) WHERE IS IT?
00:24:23(screams) (laughing) (yells) AAH!
00:24:33(laughter) Aah!
00:24:38(speaks indistinctly) (woman) ALL RIGHTY.
00:24:43(coughs) Watch this. this is my barbie britney.
00:24:48.. and...
00:24:51(screams) (screams) THAT'S HIM!
00:24:55(screams) Hey!
00:25:01(yells) AAH!
00:25:04(screaming) (laughter) ♪♪♪♪
00:25:15(screams) (cries) (cheering) What'd I tell you?
00:25:27All right, I'm gonna rest my oversized head on an oversized pillow.
00:25:32You take a gander at these.
00:25:34(man) YOU GUYS... THE PAIN WILL BE GONE Just about the time the unibrow grows back.
00:25:41Ow!
00:25:43The unibrow's gone!
00:25:46..
00:25:48Stop! come on. man, let me try.
00:25:50(laughter) (girl) WELL, YOU'RE SHORT.
00:25:53 you're too old for this.
00:25:57OW! (laughing) (man laughs) (woman) DO IT AGAIN, BABE. DO IT AGAIN.
00:26:09One more time.
00:26:11That's a dandelion and some really fancy eyeballs.
00:26:15Blow!
00:26:17And again, blow!
00:26:20I'LL KEEP HOLDING HIM. (man) ...WHERE I Can get a crane.
00:26:29Let me ask you, is it possible to get thrown off a horse before you even get on?
00:26:35(horse neighs) OH!
00:26:37Oh, are you okay?
00:26:39(woman) OH! I'M OKAY.
00:26:41Even when she's outside, she wastes time on the net.
00:26:45(man) WHOA! (woman) OH, NO, NO!
00:26:47(speaking in foreign language) (singing "Away In a Manger") Hey, kid, I think they want you to sing lower.
00:27:00(laughter) (girl) MOM! SHE'S GOING OUT FOR A NIGHT ON The town.
00:27:08Her shoe is going to stay home.
00:27:10OH! (laughing) he's trying to break that piñata on the tree so nobody gets hurt.
00:27:23OH! (man) OH, MY...
00:27:25(laughter) (cheering) Yeah.
00:27:34Have you ever been so frustrated you just want to pull out your hair?
00:27:38Then there are moments you just want to pull out someone else's hair? here's a little of each.
00:27:45..
00:27:53OW! (woman) OH, YOU'VE GOT HIS HAIR!
00:27:56Oh, ow!
00:27:57(child) THERE'S QUICKSAND DOWN HERE.
00:28:03OW, OW! (laughing) (laughter) (woman speaks indistinctly) (woman) OH, DID SOMEBODY GET HIM GOING?
00:28:29Oh!
00:28:32(laughter) Ow!
00:28:46(cries) (woman) CAITLIN, CAITLIN.
00:28:49(man) CAITLIN. NO.
00:28:55OH! (laughs) Oh, I thinki've got a bite!
00:29:05(laughing) ♪♪♪♪
00:29:13ow!
00:29:15Ooh, ow!
00:29:18..
00:29:23(cheering) Rule number one.
00:30:02Wait for nothing.
00:30:02Announcer: Revlon age defying a foundation.
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00:30:12Revlon age defyingspa foundation.
00:30:46(announcer)YOUR tylenol doesn'tinterfere with certain high bloodpressure medicines the way alevemetimes can.
00:30:51That's one reason why doctors recommend tylenol more than any other brand of pain reliever.
00:31:31Announcer:WHEN comes viruses, like 2009 h1n1, regularly disinfect surfaces.
00:31:37And talk to your friendsabout doing the same.
00:31:39Let's help spread protection against flu viruses like 2009 h1n1.
00:31:46(mom) (brother) WHOA - A TRANSFORMER! BEEU BEEU (announcer) WITH GREAT GIFTS IN ALL SHAPES ..
00:31:52It's a barbie!
00:31:53(announcer)KMART MAKES CHRISTMAS COUNT Find eveything from pixos and chixos to the guitar hero 5 bundle.
00:31:57There's smart,and there's kmart smart.
00:32:03doing, trying to be biglike you, dad.
00:32:04You're so good at keepingeveryone full and focused with your fiber.
00:32:09But you already are great at doing that.
00:32:11- Really? - re!
00:32:12You're made with fiber just like me.
00:32:13But best of all, you're the perfect size for smaller kids, and they love your chocolaty taste.
00:32:18Kellogg's®®frosted mini-wheats little bites™™ cereal.
00:32:20An excellent sourceof fiber packed in a smaller ..
00:32:23To help keep your little onesfull and focused.
00:32:25 - to practice keeping 'em full and focused.
00:32:28I have big shoes to fill.
00:32:36♪♪♪♪
00:32:39okay, it is time to introduce " now one is known for consuming massive amounts of beer and bratwurst, and the other has a different way of making you feel sick.
00:32:53(bell dings) TONIGHT, ON "VERSUS," The germans are up first and, boy, do they love their beer!
00:33:09Das ist gut!
00:33:10But the germ's power is contagious.
00:33:14(sneezes) GESUNDHEIT.
00:33:17(laughter) The germans decide to follow the lederhosen.
00:33:24Ich bin ein berliner.
00:33:27(audience) OH!
00:33:30But the germs can practically taste victory.
00:33:34Mmm, mmm, good!
00:33:36(audience) OHH!
00:33:39..
00:33:43Jawohl!
00:33:46(laughter) (woman) HEY, MADISON. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
00:33:50And the germs get a hepatitis "a" for effort.
00:33:54What are you doing, baby?
00:33:56(audience) OH!
00:33:57(speaking in foreign language) Eins, zwei, drei--wet!
00:34:04(laughter) The germs are ready to boogie.
00:34:09(indistinct conversations) (audience) OH!
00:34:14The germans make one last blitz.
00:34:17(laughter) That's gonna leave a deutsch mark.
00:34:21(bell dings) AND THE WINNER IS...
00:34:25Germs!
00:34:28(laughter) Join us next week ..
00:34:38" (cheering) (laughs) I thought I'd help out our single viewers by combining video dating and speed dating " I show you videos of people, single people, doing such goofy and moronic things that by the end of the night, you're glad that you are single.
00:35:00You're welcome.
00:35:02He lets go of the rope, but the rope doesn't let go of him.
00:35:08(woman) HE'S--OH! (shouting) WHOO-HOO! (laughing) ♪♪♪♪
00:35:19..
00:35:20Too much eggnog-in' leads to a sore noggin.
00:35:30(laughter) ♪♪♪♪
00:35:38(laughter) Winston is a smart dog.
00:36:091 Trick gets him 14 treats.
00:36:13(laughter) (woman) GET 'EM.
00:36:23Okay, just don't go one-handed.
00:36:26One-handed!
00:36:28(woman gasps) It's "extreme home makeover: " (laughter) (woman) OH!
00:36:40JOE. (laughs) Look at those nice houses.
00:36:49I wonder which one he'll be recovering in.
00:36:52(man) OH!
00:36:55Are you all right? yeah.
00:36:57You sure? yeah.
00:37:02(boy) THAT ONE WAS EASY.
00:37:05He's gonna stop the bullies from picking on him at school by making them laugh.
00:37:12(man laughs) (laughter) ♪♪♪♪
00:37:23in the world of sports, a decathlon represents ten events in which an athlete competes.
00:37:28A pentathlon is five events.
00:37:30A triathlon, of course, is three.
00:37:32And then there are those who can't even finish one event.
00:37:36So please enjoy our tribute " ("Opening Ceremony" playing) (man) THERE! (man) WHOO!
00:38:07(man shouts indistinctly) (woman) OH, OH!
00:38:16♪♪♪♪
00:38:26(shouting) (whistle blows) ♪♪♪♪
00:38:42you must be wondering p horrible like I couldn't catch my breath.
00:39:50I couldn't believe I was actually having a heart attack.
00:39:53I remember being at the hospital, thinking about my wife.
00:39:58I should have done more to take care of myself.
00:40:01Now I'm exercising, watching my diet, and I trust my heart to lipitor.
00:40:06(announcer) UNLIKE SOME OTHER Cholesterol lowering medications, lipitor is fda approved to reduce the risk of heart attack, stroke and certain kinds of heart surgeries in patients with several common risk factors or heart disease.
00:40:17Lipitor is backed by over 17 years of research.
00:40:20Lipitor is not for everyone, including people with liver problems and women who are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant.
00:40:27You need simple blood tests to check for liver problems.
00:40:29Tell your doctor if you are taking other medications or if you have any muscle pain or weakness.
00:40:34This may be a sign of a rare but serious side effect.
00:40:37I'll never forget what I went through.
00:40:40Don't take your health for granted.
00:40:41(announcer) HAVE A HEART TO HEART WITH PPYOUR Doctor about your risk.
00:40:44And about lipitor.
00:40:47awesome.
00:40:47Do you wt to go to my apartment?
00:40:49!
00:40:49..
00:40:51Need a moment?
00:40:55I thought you were a believer.
00:40:56Someone who wanted to blog about their ideals.
00:40:58I love blogging!
00:40:59Chew it over with twix ♪♪ ♪♪
00:41:03♪♪
00:41:15 we're opening more lanes than ever, to make christmas shping easier.
00:41:20And with unbeatableprices,christmas costs less at walmart.
00:41:25Save money. live better.walmart.
00:41:47♪♪♪♪
00:41:52(man) WHOO! OKAY.
00:41:54Now we are going to do a background check on some of the people on our show, and don't worry, we're not going to go through their trash.
00:42:01We're just going to look in the background of their videos.
00:42:04You try it, too.
00:42:06(cheering) THEIR PHOTOGRAPHER .. of the grass.
00:42:12WHOA! (laughing) (woman) AND HERE COMES...
00:42:16Hey, grandpa, you're retired.
00:42:18Couldn't you take two trips down the driveway?
00:42:22Whoa!
00:42:24Stupid--oh, the idiot.
00:42:26What's he think he's doing?
00:42:28Are you hurt?
00:42:30You have to spoil everything, don't you?
00:42:33I know who isn't going to get an m.v.p. trophy.
00:42:39(applause) You have to get the basket in.
00:42:46Come on, guys.
00:42:48 she's on fire, and so is her house.
00:42:52DID YOU GET IT? (woman) YEAH, I GOT IT, I got it. do it again.
00:42:55You're burning your house!
00:42:58What? what's happening?
00:43:01I can't believe it!
00:43:02(woman) JUST GET AWAY, GLORIA. GLORIA!
00:43:07.. is that what it was?
00:43:11(kid) I DON'T KNOW. I WASN'T COOKING.
00:43:14(speaks in foreign language) (woman) WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THAT TREADMILL Anyway?
00:43:19You gonna work out? yes.
00:43:21T ready for wrestling? yeah.
00:43:23Conditioning, get your heart thumping.
00:43:26Yep.
00:43:28God, you're getting so big, man.
00:43:31Whoa!
00:43:33(laughing) OW, MY BUTT!
00:43:36(woman) AUBREY! WHAT?
00:43:37That's what little sisters are made for.
00:43:38My butt!
00:43:41..
00:43:44He's practicing his first confession, but his brother is the one with something to confess.
00:43:49Not obeying my parents, not listening.
00:43:55(woman laughs) Tonight, they're going to toss some cookies tonight, on our "salute to stupidity," we tip our hats to the burglars in texas-- and this is true, by the way-- who broke into a store that sold high-tech security equipment.
00:44:12Unfortunately for them, their crime was captured on 17 surveillance cameras!
00:44:16We dedicate these clips to you dumb guys and hope you enjoy watching them from the comfort of your cell.
00:44:24(engine rumbles) (barking) (engine stops) Planks for nothing!
00:44:37(laughter) (speaking in foreign language) Here's a changeup-- a tot drops his mom off at the park.
00:44:52(laughter) (speaking in foreign language) Go get 'em.
00:44:58The dog raked those leaves.
00:45:01He can do whatever he wants with them.
00:45:02What'd you do, coop? what you doing?
00:45:05(woman) COOPER! AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO JUMP Over?
00:45:09This explains how dave got that fresh pine scent.
00:45:14Whoo!
00:45:16(laughter) (man) OH, NO! NO!
00:45:22Don't they know cats prefer cardigans?
00:45:26(laughter) So this is the bridge to nowhere everyone's talking about.
00:45:33(woman) SHE'S GONNA FALL. (screams) (laughing) NO. (man) DID YOU GET A PICTURE OF THAT?
00:45:44Ow. go away!
00:45:47Ow!
00:45:48Careful, kid, you gotta protect those puppies.
00:45:52Ow! ow!
00:45:54(man laughs) Get out of the way!
00:46:02Get out of the way!
00:46:04(laughing) (cheering) @@@úúúúppppxxxx÷÷x÷WE DO When we come up here is take her out to eat.
00:46:17I love when they come visit and so do my roommates.
00:46:19 try our new four cheese stuffed mezzaluna ravioli with shrimp in white wine cream sauce.
00:46:24Or with grilled sausage.
00:46:25Starting at $9.95.
00:46:26At olive garden.
00:46:29what?
00:46:30(dad) THAT TABLE'S FOR PEOPLE UNDER FIVE Feet.
00:46:32You're in my chair!
00:46:33(announcer) KMART MAKES CHRISTMAS COUNT With great prices on these small kitchen appliances and festive decor, so you can spread the cheer all the way to the kid's table.
00:46:39There's smart,and there's kmart smart.
00:46:44(vet) working but my allergies put me in a fog.
00:46:47So now, I'm claritin clear!
00:46:49Claritin is the clear choice because it works great on all my allergies whether it's dust, mold, pollen, or pets and it won't make me drowsy, cause I want to be alert when I'm working with animals.
00:47:00For me claritin works so well sometimes I even forget I have allergies which helps me focus on what's important.
00:47:06Ise okay?
00:47:07Yeah. she looks good.
00:47:09In my life, I onlylive claritin clear.
00:47:12Indoors and out.
00:47:14) ( humming continues ) ( inhaling deeply ) ♪♪♪♪
00:47:21wow!
00:47:22♪♪♪♪
00:47:28when fragrance is your centerpiece, the holidays come alive.
00:47:33♪♪♪♪
00:47:34( thud ) Both: Whoa!
00:47:38The limited editionholiday collection by glade®®.
00:47:40S.c. johnson--a family company.
00:47:51ñzp8xYp9éú@0f @n@ x x?@éú038@pPom Wevú8úoPrú÷ tú PP v?
00:48:14♪♪♪♪
00:48:35(announcer)TRY OUT A FEW DIFFERENT MOMS And get all of theextra mothering you need this coldand flu season.
00:48:39THE KLEENEX VIRTUALMOMS AT getmommed.com.
00:48:45doing, trying to be biglike you, dad.
00:48:47You're so good at keepingeveryone full and focused with your fiber.
00:48:51But you already are great at doing that.
00:48:54- Really? - sure!
00:48:55You're made with fiber just like me.
00:48:56But best of all, you're the perfect size for smaller kids, and they love your chocolaty taste.
00:49:00Kellogg's®®frosted mini-wheats little bites™™ cereal.
00:49:03An excellent sourceof fiber packed in a smaller ..
00:49:05To help keep your little onesfull and focused.
00:49:07 - to practice keeping 'em full and focused.
00:49:11I have big shoes to fill.
00:49:44♪♪♪♪
00:49:47(cheers and applause) Okay, now it's time to put our money where our mouth is and give away some cash.
00:49:57First up, "loose on linoleum" sent in by darcy sawyer and family FROM LOCKE, NEW YORK. (cheering) (barking) (laughter) (barking) (cheers and applause) The next contender for tonight's 10 grand giveaway is "cash for quads" sent in by the graf family from goddard, kansas.
00:50:26(cheering) (crying) (woman) YOU WANT TO HEAR JOHNNY CASH? OKAY.
00:50:34(crying) ("Folsom Prison Blues" playing) AMAZING. (cheers and applause) And here's their competition for the big money.
00:50:44Let's meet our final finalist, "radish regret" sent in by bob shine from wimberley, texas.
00:50:52(cheering) (laughing) (man) IS THAT A RADISH?
00:51:00(laughing) (cheers and applause) All right, our audience has seen the three nominees.
00:51:12It is time to vote now.
00:51:14(beeping) AND WHILE WE TALLY THE VOTES, Let's pay tribute to some of tonight's other stellar videos, our honorable mentions.
00:51:24(bird squawking) (crash, screech) (motor revs) (metal rattling) Ohh!
00:51:39Ow!
00:51:40(boing, boing) (bouncing sound) ♪♪♪♪
00:51:52(pinging) (cheers and applause) All right, now the results of our voting.
00:52:00Our third place $2,000 winner is "cash for quads" sent in by the graf family from goddard, kansas.
00:52:09(cheering) And the winner of the $10,000 and tonight's funniest home video is "radish regret" sent in by bob shine from wimberley, texas.
00:52:23We've got dad bob. we've got mom tess.
00:52:27Hello, bob. hey.
00:52:29Hello, tess. hi, it's nice to see you.
00:52:31What have you done with the little girl oh, my gosh, look how she's grown.
00:52:35Hi, julien. hi.
00:52:37How old are you now? I'm 20.
00:52:38 how old were you when you ate the radish-apple? I was 2.
00:52:422.
00:52:42Now this isn't a video we've had lying around for 18 years.
00:52:46You just sent it in recently, right?
00:52:48Why did you keep it to yourself for so long?
00:52:50 I didn't-- I saw--i didn't see it.
00:52:52There were too many of 'em to deal with.
00:52:53Oh, really?
00:52:54 I've gotta ask, uh, do you like radishes now?
00:52:58 uh, I haven't had 'em in a long time, but yeah, last time I tried a radish I liked it. yeah.
00:53:04I did. oh, okay.
00:53:05..
00:53:06Wow!
00:53:07.. thank you.
00:53:09And we'll see you on the $100,000 show.
00:53:10Thanks.
00:53:11Don't leave your videos lying around so long!
00:53:12Yeah.
00:53:16(cheering) That's it for tonight, but that's not it for our videos.
00:53:25We'll be back with more brand-new ones soon.
00:53:27Until then, remember, if you get it on video, send it in eventually, won't you?
00:53:32You could get it in cash.
00:53:34Good night, everybody.
00:53:36♪♪♪♪
00:53:37@@@@@úúúppppxxxx÷÷÷÷ Announcer:WHEN comes viruses, like 2009 h1n1, regularly disinfect surfaces.
00:55:15And talk to your friendsabout doing the same.
00:55:17Let's help spread protection against flu viruses like 2009 h1n1.
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00:55:37Alka-seltzer plus.
00:55:39Rule number one.
00:55:40Wait for nothing.
00:55:41Announcer: Revlon age defying spa foundation.
00:55:44Instantly revitalize, brighten and protect against fine lines for radiant, flawless coverage.
00:55:50Revlon age defyingspa foundation.
00:55:55hi!
00:55:55get that's yours.
00:55:59 - you can get out.
00:56:04Hi. what can I get for this?
00:56:06..
00:56:08With all the amenities in a meaty, melty McDOUBLE.
00:56:11OR MAYBE AN irresistible McChicken, golden fries, ..
00:56:16That are always here for you.
00:56:18- Eh? - wow!
00:56:19THE DOLLAR MENU.EVERY DAY, ONLY at McDonald's.
00:56:22♪♪ Ba da ba ba ba ♪♪
00:56:25Kmart wait, christmas? didn't we just carve pumpkins?
00:56:27- They have layaway! - genius.
00:56:30EXCLUSIVE Kmart LAYAWAY!
00:56:31Get the hottest giftson your list now, pay a little each week and pickem up in the nick of time.
00:56:36THERE'S SMART,AND THERE'S Kmart SMART.
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