| 00:00:00 | Trash!
|
| 00:00:02 | That is the most ridiculous hat I have ever
seen.
|
| 00:00:05 | [Thinking] and I must have it.
|
| 00:00:07 | Aren't you gonna be late to meet carla?
|
| 00:00:09 | I've got time.
|
| 00:00:10 | : turk and carla were having relationship
trouble,
so she'd been staying at elliot's for a few
days.
|
| 00:00:14 | You were late the last time.
|
| 00:00:15 | Yeah, but I set the clock ahead an hour last
night
so I wouldn't be late.
|
| 00:00:18 | Yeah, but last week I set it back 3 hours
so we could see what it felt like to live
in honolulu.
|
| 00:00:22 | Yeah, but then I set the clock ahead 5 hours
so I wouldn't feel like a skeeve
for watching porn in the middle of the day.
|
| 00:00:26 | 08,
turned the clock upside down to see if it
looked like the word "bob,"
..
|
| 00:00:32 | That's true.
|
| 00:00:33 | ..
|
| 00:00:36 | 9:52! 9:52!
|
| 00:00:38 | Oh, my god, dude!
|
| 00:00:38 | I gotta be downtown in like 8 minutes!
|
| 00:00:40 | Dude, we're never gonna make it in time!
|
| 00:00:42 | Take a shortcut through that hedge!
|
| 00:00:45 | You got it, player!
|
| 00:00:48 | Hold on, buddy!
|
| 00:00:51 | Waaah!
|
| 00:00:54 | That was a thick bush.
|
| 00:00:56 | Oh, really, turk, was it a thick bush?
|
| 00:00:58 | Because there's berries in my ass. just go!
|
| 00:01:03 | Oh, sorry. my bad, dude. my bad. oh!
|
| 00:01:06 | [Clink]
..
|
| 00:01:15 | Aah!
|
| 00:01:16 | Don't worry, turk, I got 'em!
|
| 00:01:21 | : strike.
|
| 00:01:26 | Turk, why are you wearing pajamas?
|
| 00:01:28 | Uh, I really want you to come home,
and on the off chance you said yes,
I'd be ready to snuggle,
and that would hopefully lead to--
but necessarily require--
relations of the intimate nature.
|
| 00:01:40 | Turk, with everything that's happened,
I'm just having trouble trusting you.
|
| 00:01:45 | Baby, if there's anyone in this world
that you can trust, it's me.
|
| 00:01:47 | Turk, you're the one idon'tknow if I can
trust,
so I how am I supposed totrust
that I can trust you telling me
that I can trust you?
|
| 00:01:55 | My head hurts.
|
| 00:01:58 | I wish I knew how it was going.
|
| 00:02:01 | Sorry about your hogs, fellas.
|
| 00:02:04 | Enjoy the free espressos.
|
| 00:02:07 | [Gulping]
warlord, I told you to sip it.
|
| 00:02:11 | ..
|
| 00:02:13 | Use your words.
|
| 00:02:14 | Warlord burn mouth.
|
| 00:02:16 | Yeah, he did because he wasn't listening.
|
| 00:02:17 | thank
you.
|
| 00:02:22 | ♪♪ I can't do thisall on my own ♪♪
|
| 00:02:25 | ♪♪ no, I know ♪♪
|
| 00:02:26 | captioning made possible bybuena vista television
♪♪ I'm no superman ♪♪
|
| 00:03:38 | [flash bulb pops]
hey, what--whatare you doing, frankenstein?
|
| 00:03:43 | Photo journal formy photography class.
|
| 00:03:45 | Terrific.could I see your camera?
|
| 00:03:47 | Hmm. very interesting.
|
| 00:03:49 | Oh, there's film in it.
|
| 00:03:53 | Hey!
|
| 00:03:53 | All my pictureswere in there!
|
| 00:03:55 | "Dead patientwith fancy shirt,"
"dead patientwithout fancy shirt,"
"me in fancy shirtbeing yelled at by angry
"
do you have any idea ofwhat events would
unfold
if jordan were to actuallysee that picture?
|
| 00:04:05 | It is a heart-wrenchingtale of woe
involving jordan'ssecond cousin
who plays forthe new england patriots
and me havinga super bowl ring removed
from my esophagus.
|
| 00:04:14 | No, jordan's never goingto see these stitches.
|
| 00:04:17 | Well, I hope you realizethis means war.
|
| 00:04:20 | Ah, buzz off,you big monkey.
|
| 00:04:24 | Poor mr. gerst.
|
| 00:04:26 | I wonderwhat that's like
to have an erectionfor 9 hours.
|
| 00:04:29 | Ask mein 20 minutes.
|
| 00:04:30 | he doesn't even have erectile
dysfunction.
|
| 00:04:32 | I mean, why would youtake those drugs if
you didn't need them?
|
| 00:04:36 | What's this?
|
| 00:04:37 | Why, it's a dummygram,
and it's addressedto you, barbie.
|
| 00:04:40 | Let's read it and find outwhat's in there.
|
| 00:04:42 | You are disturbingly naive.
|
| 00:04:44 | Stop!
|
| 00:04:45 | drugs
are takenby recreational users.
|
| 00:04:49 | Stop!
|
| 00:04:50 | That can't be true.
|
| 00:04:52 | [Whistling]
everyone,would you go ahead
and close your eyesfor a second?
|
| 00:04:55 | now, would allthe men in the room
happy pills,
go ahead and grab your forkand bang your
glass.
|
| 00:05:03 | [Loud clinking]
♪♪ thank you ♪♪
|
| 00:05:09 | [clinking]
ted, everyone stopped!
|
| 00:05:14 | Oh, damn it!
|
| 00:05:19 | Dude,she's got this whole trust issue with
me.
|
| 00:05:21 | Just tell hershe can trust you.
|
| 00:05:22 | I did, but apparently,if I'm the one
she didn't knowshe could trust,
how is she supposed totrust she can trust
me
telling hershe can trust me?
|
| 00:05:28 | My head hurts.
|
| 00:05:29 | Yeah, mine did, too.
|
| 00:05:30 | That's why I need youto go in.
|
| 00:05:31 | it's never smart
to get in the middle of someone else's relationship.
|
| 00:05:34 | I'll let you wear my top hat.
|
| 00:05:36 | Hey! want to grab a beer?
|
| 00:05:39 | If you lose the hat.
|
| 00:05:44 | Hi. hello there.
|
| 00:05:46 | What's with all the band-aids?
|
| 00:05:47 | Oh, jack was just getting nutty, having some
fun.
|
| 00:05:50 | See, I even let him put one on me.
|
| 00:05:53 | Really? yeah.
|
| 00:05:57 | Are those stitches?
|
| 00:05:58 | What are the odds you'd pick that one?
|
| 00:06:00 | Jack just--he just fell off of the jungle
gym.
|
| 00:06:03 | You're not careful enough with him!
|
| 00:06:05 | What about the time you had him
and he brained himself on the coffee table?
|
| 00:06:08 | That was an accident.
|
| 00:06:09 | Just a quick question.
|
| 00:06:10 | Why is it an accident when he's with you,
but when jack gets hurt on my time,
it's because I'm not careful enough?
|
| 00:06:15 | Because i--
..
|
| 00:06:21 | You're speechless.
|
| 00:06:23 | [Laughing] I won!
|
| 00:06:25 | I won an argument.
|
| 00:06:26 | Jack, it's unprecedented.
|
| 00:06:27 | We'll be at the playground drinking beer.
|
| 00:06:30 | Oh, god, we love beer!
|
| 00:06:32 | But--
that guy needs to do some serious thinking
about baseball.
|
| 00:06:39 | He wouldn't even let me see it.
|
| 00:06:42 | Hey, meathead.
|
| 00:06:43 | Oh, good, you both looked.
|
| 00:06:45 | gerst came here for help,
and we're doctors, so how about we try
and treat him with at least a little bit
of dignity and respect, ok?
|
| 00:06:52 | [Laughing]
that man is a human sundial.
|
| 00:07:02 | Oh, it's so nice to get out.
|
| 00:07:04 | Oh, hey, do you know who sings this song?
|
| 00:07:06 | No, but I can tell you who doesn't sing it--
billy joel, who brought us such hits
asuptown girl andmatter of trust.
|
| 00:07:12 | And speaking of trust, do you know
who's really trustworthy? turk.
|
| 00:07:15 | I call him turkey-turkey-turkey- turkey-trust-trust.
|
| 00:07:18 | A little nickname.
|
| 00:07:19 | , I know what you're trying to do and
it's very sweet,
but the last couple of days have been
so messed up and confusing.
|
| 00:07:25 | I'd love to just try and forget about it
and have a few drinks, ok?
|
| 00:07:29 | But I told turk I'd talk about him constantly
until you made me leave.
|
| 00:07:32 | I'll let you put the hat back on.
|
| 00:07:34 | Two appletinis, governor.
|
| 00:07:39 | Look at my girl.
|
| 00:07:40 | Right back up on the monkey bars
even after she chipped her tooth there last
week.
|
| 00:07:44 | That's nothing.
|
| 00:07:45 | My kid's got a forehead full of stitches
from leaping off the jungle gym.
|
| 00:07:49 | .. yeah?
|
| 00:07:50 | I let my daughter stand on my shoulders.
|
| 00:07:52 | Really? wait till you get a load of this.
|
| 00:07:55 | Ok, here we go. what are we doing?
|
| 00:07:57 | Come here, you. you come here, you.
|
| 00:07:59 | [Janitor making clicking noise]
giant man, why are you making that noise?
|
| 00:08:03 | well, because my camera doesn't make
a real sound, and it's more fun that way.
|
| 00:08:08 | ..
|
| 00:08:09 | [Makes clicking sound]
look happy.
|
| 00:08:13 | [Clicks] look sad.
|
| 00:08:15 | [Clicks] look crazy.
|
| 00:08:16 | [Making silly noise]
look like you're going away.
|
| 00:08:22 | [Clicks]
to set an example of professionalism,
and you're certainly not going to do that
by making fun of that man's slinky-doo.
|
| 00:08:29 | Don't pull me!
|
| 00:08:30 | I'm your boss, for god's--
hello!
|
| 00:08:34 | gerst,
your situation doesn't seem to be reversing
itself,
so I think we're gonna need
to schedule a procedure
to relieve the, uh,
..ahem...uh...
|
| 00:08:45 | Woodiness.
|
| 00:08:47 | My fiancee is only 24,
and she said she wanted to do something special
this morning.
|
| 00:08:50 | Turns out she just meant having breakfast
with her family.
|
| 00:08:53 | [Squeaks]
those pills didn't really kick in until
just about the moment
I'm introduced to her 90-year-old grandmother.
|
| 00:09:00 | [Squeaks]
and sure enough, that little lady
gives me the waist hug from her wheelchair.
|
| 00:09:05 | Mr. Gerst: I pulled away from that encounter
with all of grandma helen's breathing apparatus.
|
| 00:09:10 | [Cracks up]
my work here is done.
|
| 00:09:16 | I have
to pee.
|
| 00:09:24 | Ok, j.d., why are we sitting up here?
|
| 00:09:26 | Because you can see eliot's whole apartment
from up here.
|
| 00:09:30 | J.d., you're drunk.
|
| 00:09:32 | Carla, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
|
| 00:09:35 | Wait a minute--
then why can't you let go of the couch?
|
| 00:09:40 | I can let go of the couch if I so choose.
|
| 00:09:43 | Ok, let go of the couch. let it go.
|
| 00:09:46 | Whoa! whoops!
|
| 00:09:49 | !
|
| 00:09:50 | Whoa!
|
| 00:09:51 | [Both laughing]
: there are many things we can't control
..
|
| 00:10:01 | ..
|
| 00:10:04 | I'm--i'm so sorry.
|
| 00:10:06 | Ahem. I'm done.
|
| 00:10:10 | I'm done. yes.
|
| 00:10:12 | It's ok.
|
| 00:10:14 | [Cracking up]
: or a janitor who has it in for you.
|
| 00:10:21 | Hi.
|
| 00:10:21 | Look what someone was nice enough to give
me.
|
| 00:10:28 | Janitor.
|
| 00:10:32 | [Both cracking up]
oh, thank you
for helping me have some fun tonight.
|
| 00:10:38 | You're welcome.
|
| 00:10:39 | : and sometimes you let go of the control
youdohave
in a brief moment of weakness.
|
| 00:10:50 | Sorry. drunken accident.
|
| 00:10:52 | Nothing happened. right.
|
| 00:10:54 | Good night. good night.
|
| 00:10:55 | Good night. good night.
|
| 00:10:57 | Buenas noches.
|
| 00:10:58 | .. nose things.
|
| 00:11:00 | Good night.
|
| 00:11:03 | : like she said, everything's fine.
|
| 00:11:06 | [Door closes]
♪
|
| 00:11:10 | [ Woman ] NINE IRON, IT'S ALMOST TEE-TIME.
|
| 00:11:11 | Time to face the pollen that used to make
me sneeze,
my eyes water.
|
| 00:11:17 | But with new zyrtec® liquid gels,
I get allergy relief
at liquid speed.
|
| 00:11:21 | That's the fast, powerful relief of zyrtec®,
now in a liquid gel.
|
| 00:11:24 | Zyrtec® is the fastest 24-hour allergy medicine.
|
| 00:11:27 | It works on my worst symptoms
so I'm ready by the time we get to the first
hole.
|
| 00:11:30 | And that's good because the competition's
steep today.
|
| 00:11:34 | New zyrtec® liquid gels workfast, so I can
™
when kids see somethingthey like,
they know it immediately.
|
| 00:11:47 | ♪♪♪
|
| 00:11:49 | parents,on the other hand,
need to see moreto be impressed.
|
| 00:11:53 | So, when you add the fuel economy of the
..
|
| 00:11:56 | ..
|
| 00:11:59 | It's a sign that says no matter where people
..
|
| 00:12:02 | ..
|
| 00:12:04 | Is the one that keepsbringing them back.
|
| 00:12:07 | ♪♪♪
|
| 00:13:10 | :scrubswill be backafter these messages.
|
| 00:14:35 | his
tomorrow?"
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doesn't cover prescriptions?"
"Do I even have enough
cash left for rent."
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|
| 00:14:47 | It takes just five minutes
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|
| 00:14:56 | No lines, no
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|
| 00:14:58 | "I got the cash I needed
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"I even saved 25%
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|
| 00:15:16 | And now, you can save 25% with
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|
| 00:15:21 | Learn more at
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|
| 00:15:28 | With CashNetUSA, you have the
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: there's nothing like the rays of the
morning sun
kissing you awake and gently reminding you
that you got drunk
and kissed your best friend's wife.
|
| 00:15:42 | Oh, my god!
|
| 00:15:44 | Oh, my god!
|
| 00:15:45 | So it really happened?
|
| 00:15:46 | Yeah, but it was nothing! nothing!
|
| 00:15:48 | No, there wasn't even any tongue!
|
| 00:15:49 | No tongue! it was just a friend kiss.
|
| 00:15:51 | Were your lips parted at all?
|
| 00:15:52 | No, I pursed them like this.
|
| 00:15:54 | ,
I remember my one lip being on top of your
upper lip
and my other lip being somewhere in the middle
of yours,
which means your lips were apart
and I don't think that's a friend kiss!
|
| 00:16:02 | Yes, it is, it's a friend kiss,
and we will never talk about this to anyone
ever!
|
| 00:16:05 | All right.
|
| 00:16:06 | What's going on?
|
| 00:16:07 | Nothing.
|
| 00:16:08 | J.d. and I kissed. carla!
|
| 00:16:09 | You kissed? like a friend kiss?
|
| 00:16:10 | Yes. no!
|
| 00:16:11 | Carla! you're killing me!
|
| 00:16:16 | This never leaves the room!
|
| 00:16:18 | Why did you close my window?
|
| 00:16:23 | and carla kissed"
on the paper
and she's gonna tell turk!
|
| 00:16:28 | No, no, stop her!
|
| 00:16:30 | Don't worry, ladies, I've closed the window.
|
| 00:16:33 | [Squeaking]
j.d., I don't have a messenger monkey.
|
| 00:16:44 | All right, fine,
I'm a little rougher than you are,
the two of us
have two distinctly different parenting styles.
|
| 00:16:51 | You're an overbearing, hyper-cautious psychotic,
..fun.
|
| 00:16:57 | And I think if we can meet somewhere in the
middle,
I think jack's gonna be terrific.
|
| 00:17:01 | Besides, it's not like I ever put him in
any real danger.
|
| 00:17:06 | Jack: Flip!
|
| 00:17:06 | Flip? what does "flip" mean, perry?
|
| 00:17:09 | Jack probably thinks that mommy and daddy
are being
a little too sarcastic with each other.
|
| 00:17:15 | Maybe.
|
| 00:17:15 | Or it's because every time he says "flip,"
daddy does a little trick where he grabs
jack by the ankles,
he flips him upside down,
he drops him down onto his shoulders,
.. [gasps]
puts him in a little baby trapeze,
shoots him across the sand box without a
net.
|
| 00:17:33 | You are never taking jack
to the park without me. ever!
|
| 00:17:36 | ..
|
| 00:17:40 | !
|
| 00:17:41 | Yeah. photoshop. you can do anything.
|
| 00:17:43 | get
it?
|
| 00:17:48 | Because you're a quack.
|
| 00:17:50 | ..
|
| 00:17:51 | [laughing]
come on. classic comedy, my friend.
|
| 00:17:54 | He'll learn.
|
| 00:17:57 | I mean, there
I was,
gerst,
and then I just turned out to be
just as bad as everyone else.
|
| 00:18:03 | Sweetheart, give yourself some credit.
|
| 00:18:04 | You were much worse than everyone else.
|
| 00:18:06 | Maybe I was, but you know what?
|
| 00:18:08 | I'm gonna try and better myself and, unlike
you,
I'm gonna follow through,
sign-up-on-the- hospital-bulletin-board-
for-private-german-lessons- and-then-never-show-up.
|
| 00:18:15 | ..
|
| 00:18:20 | I broke up with my german mistress.
|
| 00:18:22 | She smelled like sauerkraut.
|
| 00:18:24 | I'm so sorry.
|
| 00:18:26 | Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go into that room right now
and own up to what I did. ha!
|
| 00:18:33 | [Door closes]
hello? did someone come in?
|
| 00:18:38 | [Panting]
: I had to hide from turk,
so I went to the one place in the hospital
where I knew no one would ever venture.
|
| 00:18:46 | Ted? ted?
|
| 00:18:49 | A little help!
|
| 00:18:50 | Ted, what are you doing?
|
| 00:18:51 | I like to do stomach crunches after lunch.
|
| 00:18:54 | Ted, lunch was 4 hours ago.
|
| 00:18:56 | Yep, I wasted most of my tuesday.
|
| 00:18:59 | It's wednesday.
|
| 00:19:00 | Oh, man, I missedthe gilmore girls!
|
| 00:19:06 | There you are. hey, ted.
|
| 00:19:08 | Ted: Hey.
|
| 00:19:09 | So how did it go last night?
|
| 00:19:10 | Whoa! what's with the fifth degree?
|
| 00:19:12 | Dude, don't you mean third degree?
|
| 00:19:13 | No, because this is two degrees worse.
|
| 00:19:14 | it's like you're all over
me.
|
| 00:19:16 | I'm trapped in a death coffin.
|
| 00:19:17 | I just wanted to see if you got
anywhere with carla.
|
| 00:19:19 | [Thinking] all right, he knows your lying
face,
but silence is incriminating, too.
|
| 00:19:23 | So think!
|
| 00:19:23 | What's between silence and talking?
|
| 00:19:26 | [Makes nonsense sound]
I thought you could take me over to
eliot's place
to get my stuff so I could move back in.
|
| 00:19:34 | Yeah, sure--really?
|
| 00:19:38 | All right-- meet me downstairs, ok?
|
| 00:19:40 | Ok.
|
| 00:19:41 | [WHISPERING] I owe you one.
|
| 00:19:43 | Ted, you should probably sit down.
|
| 00:19:44 | You're looking a little purple.
|
| 00:19:46 | I know my own body.
|
| 00:19:49 | [Thud]
[carla laughs]
thanks for saving my ass.
|
| 00:19:54 | Well, I wasn't saving your ass.
|
| 00:19:56 | I didn't realize how easy it is
to make little mistakes.
|
| 00:19:59 | They're stupid little mistakes that seem
like nothing,
but can snowball on you
and take your whole marriage with it, you
know?
|
| 00:20:06 | Mm-hmm.
|
| 00:20:07 | I feel like I really understand now
how turk could have let stuff like that
happen, you know?
|
| 00:20:13 | So I forgave him.
|
| 00:20:15 | Oh, well, I guess I'm glad we kissed then.
|
| 00:20:18 | Me, too.
|
| 00:20:19 | [Giggles]
you guys ready?
|
| 00:20:22 | Yeah, we are. let's do it.
|
| 00:20:32 | Ok, we just saw the plastic surgeon.
|
| 00:20:36 | Jack is fine, but if the cut
was 4 inches to the left and 7 inches deeper,
it could have potentially scratched his eye.
|
| 00:20:43 | That was a close one.
|
| 00:20:45 | What a sweet little angel.
|
| 00:20:47 | Can I just give him a little squeeze?
|
| 00:20:50 | Of course.
|
| 00:20:52 | Perry: Back off their, lady.
|
| 00:20:53 | How's about you save up all that energy
for the cruise? go on, get out of here.
|
| 00:20:56 | [Whistles]
hippity-hop to the barber shop.
|
| 00:20:58 | Come on, mom.
|
| 00:20:59 | Jordan, this hospital is literally crawling
with germs and disease, and in all fairness,
you don't know if that lady is a sickie
or if she was here visiting a sickie
and she ran her sickie hands all over his
sickie face.
|
| 00:21:09 | I normally never let people touch him.
|
| 00:21:12 | Oh, really?
|
| 00:21:12 | Because these photographs would beg to differ.
|
| 00:21:15 | Old lady kissing jack,
teenage girl hugging jack,
.. holding jack.
|
| 00:21:25 | Jordan!
|
| 00:21:26 | It's just carl.
|
| 00:21:27 | He holds jack when I get a bikini wax.
|
| 00:21:29 | I mean, I don't
think twice
about people holding him,
and yet I obsess about things
like broken arms, broken legs, choking,
kidnapping, drowning, silly putty,
bad babysitters, pretty babysitters.
|
| 00:21:40 | Yeah, I pretty much freak out over staff
infections,
blood disease, mumps, measles, sex, drugs,
rock and roll,
and definitely all registered independents,
so I think between us we've got it covered.
|
| 00:21:50 | Was this taken at my mother's house?
|
| 00:21:52 | I gotta go.
|
| 00:21:55 | gerst, I'm so sorry for laughing at you,
but I have to tell you a story.
|
| 00:22:01 | When I was in the seventh grade,
I was at a roller rink
and I needed to go to the bathroom.
|
| 00:22:05 | So I just skated right on into a stall
and I did my, uh, private business,
and then when I went to pull up my pants,
I started rolling towards the door,
which as it turned out, wasn't latched.
|
| 00:22:14 | Now, I don't know if you've had any experience
roller skating with your underpants around
your ankles.
|
| 00:22:17 | It's very difficult to stop.
|
| 00:22:18 | Unless, of course, you know, you scream so
loud
that they turn off the music and everyone
is looking at you.
|
| 00:22:23 | Anyway, that's how I wound up
"
I'm sorry?
|
| 00:22:28 | I have a mole on my ass. oh.
|
| 00:22:30 | The cute kind, not the hairy kind.
|
| 00:22:31 | Anyway, the next day I showed up at school
with roller skates on,
and everybody cracked up.
|
| 00:22:37 | Why are you telling me this?
|
| 00:22:39 | Because I owned up to it.
|
| 00:22:41 | gerst,
and if you don't just embrace it and become
part of the joke,
then it will follow you around and devour
you.
|
| 00:22:47 | Can I get a look at that mole?
|
| 00:22:49 | No. ahem. no.
|
| 00:22:54 | This is nice, the three of us sitting together
again
like a three musketeers.
|
| 00:22:58 | and I need you guys to scrape your
plates
before you put them in the dishwasher.
|
| 00:23:04 | She's back.
|
| 00:23:06 | My baby's back!
|
| 00:23:08 | [Giggles]
: carla was right.
|
| 00:23:11 | If a relationship's gonna work,
it has to be based on trust,
like a wife trusting her husband again.
|
| 00:23:16 | Hey. hey.
|
| 00:23:17 | Your kid's back on the jungle gym.
|
| 00:23:19 | Oh, sure.
|
| 00:23:19 | Guess your wife backed down.
|
| 00:23:21 | You bet your sweet ass she did.
|
| 00:23:22 | : even if it involves a compromise.
|
| 00:23:26 | just blink when you want me to
get you down.
|
| 00:23:29 | Just give me the old blink-a-roonie.
|
| 00:23:32 | Terrific athlete.
|
| 00:23:32 | I'm thinking 2016 olympics.
|
| 00:23:35 | Oh, god, was that a blink?
|
| 00:23:37 | Excuse me.
|
| 00:23:40 | : or a patient trusting his doctor
to help him hold on to his dignity.
|
| 00:23:43 | Yes, and then I pulled off grandma's breathing
apparatus.
|
| 00:23:48 | No, I'm serious.
|
| 00:23:49 | [Laughs]
: it may take a lot of work, but it's
worth it.
|
| 00:23:55 | Wow, that was a moist kiss.
|
| 00:23:57 | Wish I was wearing an apron.
|
| 00:23:58 | Baby, from here on out, I hide nothing from
you.
|
| 00:24:02 | It's a clean start for us.
|
| 00:24:06 | Sports time!
|
| 00:24:08 | : because in the end,
things work out for the best.
|
| 00:24:12 | J.d. and I kissed.
|
| 00:24:18 | : or not.
|
| 00:26:23 | Closed captioning forscrubs is sponsored
..
|
| 00:26:41 | Captioning made possible by buena vista television
captioning performed bythe national captioning
institute, inc.
|
| 00:28:32 | s go!
|
| 00:28:33 | [Announcer]
Tonight onPunk'd,
Don't do this at home.
|
| 00:28:36 | Let's do it.
|
| 00:28:36 | Let's get started!
|
| 00:28:37 | Mandy Moore learns what
crib-crashing is all about.
|
| 00:28:42 | What did you do to my house?
|
| 00:28:46 | Seriously.
|
| 00:28:46 | It's s case of
mistaken identity
when Wilmer Valderrama's
ride gets taken for Ashton's.
|
| 00:28:52 | [bleep]
Holy [bleep].
|
| 00:28:54 | It's all next onPunk'd.
|
| 00:28:56 | Here we come.
|
| 00:29:17 | I met Mandy Moore
a while ago
through a friend of mine.
|
| 00:29:20 | She always seemed like
a really nice person.
|
| 00:29:22 | Always having
good intentions.
|
| 00:29:24 | Her good intentions
might get her into
a little bit of--
a little bit of trouble
on my show. They tend to.
|
| 00:29:29 | MTV has a show called
Crib Crashers
where Todd Oldham goes in
and redesigns
someone's house. That's
basically, like, our front.
|
| 00:29:37 | Todd's agreed to
come on and help us
mess with Mandy.
|
| 00:29:40 | She thinks that
she's actually
really doing the show.
|
| 00:29:43 | Most of the time,
people are living
in, like, a fancy house
or something.
|
| 00:29:47 | Not on my show, man, we
do it redneck style.
|
| 00:29:50 | So, we've got this
challenge behind us.
|
| 00:29:52 | I think it's also called
a mobile home.
|
| 00:29:53 | Everybody's like, oh,
it's a double-wide.
|
| 00:29:54 | Like that's-- I don't think
that's that funny.
|
| 00:29:57 | 'Cause I've dated girls that
lived il tra parks.
|
| 00:29:59 | Dax has got this character
that he does
which is, like,
this kind of hillbilly.
|
| 00:30:03 | And not necessarily
too bright.
|
| 00:30:05 | Hi. Welcome to
Trailer Talk.
|
| 00:30:07 | Today, we goin' to go
to the trailer park,
and we goin' to
crash a house.
|
| 00:30:12 | We gonna do a little
house party,
and find out what real
crib-crashin' is.
|
| 00:30:17 | We got a trailer,
we got a crane,
we got a steel beam.
|
| 00:30:21 | When I pull the lever
on this crane,
that 2,000-pound beam
I have in the air
is going to crush this house
like a carton of eggs.
|
| 00:30:27 | Let's check it out.
|
| 00:30:30 | All right, we're ready.
|
| 00:30:31 | We're rolling, everybody.
|
| 00:30:31 | Here we go.
|
| 00:30:33 | Hi.
|
| 00:30:34 | - Hey, Mandy.
|
| 00:30:35 | - How are you?
|
| 00:30:36 | I'm Todd.
|
| 00:30:37 | So nice to meet you.
|
| 00:30:38 | - What a pleasure.
|
| 00:30:38 | - You too.
|
| 00:30:39 | Such a big fan of you.
|
| 00:30:40 | - Thank you.
|
| 00:30:40 | - Yea.
|
| 00:30:41 | Thanks for inviting me
out today.
|
| 00:30:42 | I'm so pleased we could
do this today.
|
| 00:30:44 | So, I think you need to get
hooked up with some mics
- and stuff.
|
| 00:30:48 | - Okay, yeah.
|
| 00:30:48 | - Hey, Mandy, how you been?
|
| 00:30:49 | - Good, how've you been?
|
| 00:30:51 | Nice to see you.
|
| 00:30:51 | Miss Moore, I'm Dax,
I live here
with my girlfriend, Bree.
|
| 00:30:54 | - Hi. Nice to meet you.
|
| 00:30:55 | - Nice to meet you.
|
| 00:30:56 | She talks about you
morning, noon, and night.
|
| 00:30:59 | [giggles]
Thank you!
|
| 00:31:00 | We even have nick--
we're in a bowling league.
|
| 00:31:02 | We get nicknames there.
|
| 00:31:02 | And, uh,
mine's Rooster, and hers
is Mandy Moore on the team.
|
| 00:31:06 | - Really.
|
| 00:31:06 | - Yeah, yeah.
|
| 00:31:07 | - Very flattering.
|
| 00:31:08 | - She's gonna be
really excited.
|
| 00:31:09 | - You're her
absolute favorite.
|
| 00:31:10 | - Thank you.
|
| 00:31:13 | So she's gonna be, uh--
super-excited.
|
| 00:31:16 | We even have this officially
dorky hat for you to wear.
|
| 00:31:18 | - So.
|
| 00:31:18 | - Nice. Do I have two hats?
|
| 00:31:20 | Exactly. Go for
the two-hat look.
|
| 00:31:22 | Actually, it looks
pretty good on you.
|
| 00:31:23 | - I don't know about that.
|
| 00:31:24 | - No, actually, it does.
|
| 00:31:26 | Oh, it's pink
and everything.
|
| 00:31:27 | Yeah. Painted that
just for you.
|
| 00:31:28 | - Aw. Thank you.
|
| 00:31:28 | - My pleasure.
|
| 00:31:31 | Yeah. Anything
you guys decide,
I mean, I'm with,
because my girlfriend,
she loves you so much
that if you said,
you know, put
a rhinoceros inside,
she'd think it was
a good idea, so--
- Wow.
|
| 00:31:42 | - [laughing]
And I've never seen--
I never been a part
of anything like this.
|
| 00:31:45 | There's just so many people
here, and it's really exciting.
|
| 00:31:48 | - Hopefully, we'll
make it easy on you.
|
| 00:31:49 | - Yeah.
|
| 00:31:50 | Probably should start by
having a tour of the place
and really see what we're
going to be working with.
|
| 00:31:54 | - Oh, yeah, yeah, please.
|
| 00:31:54 | - Go from there. Okay.
|
| 00:31:55 | So, this is basically
our living room,
but we sleep in
the living room
because why sleep
in the bedroom?
|
| 00:32:01 | I figure it's not like we
have kids or anything.
|
| 00:32:03 | You know? We kind of hung up
some of these
to make it look
more spacious in here.
|
| 00:32:07 | - Yeah.
|
| 00:32:08 | - This is like
the best of both worlds,
'cause we live
in front of a mountain range
and we live
next to a desert
with palm trees.
|
| 00:32:13 | - Exactly. Wow.
|
| 00:32:13 | - Yeah.
|
| 00:32:15 | What are you going to
show them next?
|
| 00:32:16 | I'll do bedroom, bathroom,
and then master bedroom.
|
| 00:32:21 | Bedroom-- Okay.
|
| 00:32:21 | Have you had some of this,
like, stuff looked at?
|
| 00:32:25 | No, we-- Well--
I don't know if it's
the insulation.
|
| 00:32:28 | We kind of bought it
as is.
|
| 00:32:29 | You know when you-- Have you
ever bought a car online
or on the Internet?
|
| 00:32:32 | You purchased this
on the Internet?
|
| 00:32:34 | - Your home?
|
| 00:32:34 | - You can buy anything. Yeah.
|
| 00:32:35 | You can buy trucks, cars,
houses, boats.
|
| 00:32:39 | Dune buggies. Four-wheelers.
|
| 00:32:41 | - I had no idea.
|
| 00:32:42 | - Hover crafts.
|
| 00:32:45 | What about those
hard hats?
|
| 00:32:47 | Oh, I think they're just
decorative or something.
|
| 00:32:49 | I mean, I guess
your whole crew,
everyone's wearing
a hard hat.
|
| 00:32:52 | Is it because that crane
is there?
|
| 00:32:54 | I mean, I really
think, like,
the house isn't necessarily
in the best shape,
so maybe if we could do
something about that,
first and foremost, I think
that'd be most important.
|
| 00:33:03 | I wouldn't want anything
happening to them
in the house. You know
what I mean?
|
| 00:33:07 | It just doesn't necessarily
feel so safe.
|
| 00:33:11 | Up next on Punk'd,
what goes up
must come down.
|
| 00:33:17 | What did you do
to my house?
|
| 00:33:20 | And later--
[Bleep] With my girl, right?
|
| 00:33:23 | That's what you gonna do?
|
| 00:33:24 | Gonna do it like that?
|
| 00:33:25 | That's how you wanna
do that?
|
| 00:34:01 | one
max.
|
| 00:34:02 | ! belongs to molly and alex.
|
| 00:34:04 | I'll take good care of them.
|
| 00:34:06 | [ Erin ] IN TIMES LIKE THIS, YOU CAN REALLY
Use a friend.
|
| 00:34:08 | You have enough to do without worrying about
your car.
|
| 00:34:11 | That's why esurance lets you manage your
repairs online.
|
| 00:34:14 | Email questions and your mechanic will be
there for you.
|
| 00:34:17 | The shop will even send you
daily photos of your repairs in progress.
|
| 00:34:21 | Isn't it nice to know someone's looking out
for you?
|
| 00:34:23 | I'm going to miss those crazy kids.
|
| 00:34:26 | Online repair monitoring.
|
| 00:34:27 | From esurance. click or call today.
|
| 00:35:34 | All right,
here's the scoop.
|
| 00:35:35 | We got Mandy in
the middle of nowhere
thinking she's fixing
somebody's house.
|
| 00:35:37 | Let's see how good
she fixes it.
|
| 00:35:39 | I want somethin' broken!
|
| 00:35:39 | I want somethin' destroyed!
|
| 00:35:42 | And I want somebody freaked out,
and I want it now!
|
| 00:35:45 | Was the house
in two pieces?
|
| 00:35:46 | - Is that--
- Yeah, this is a double-wide.
|
| 00:35:49 | You have a standard--
I see that there's
some cracks.
|
| 00:35:52 | They fasten two different
pieces together.
|
| 00:35:55 | Maybe we could do something
about kind of
fitting the house
all together as well.
|
| 00:36:01 | This is the bathroom.
|
| 00:36:02 | Um, it's got a real
good-sized tub,
as you can see.
|
| 00:36:03 | I can actually stretch out
in there all the way.
|
| 00:36:09 | Did you just move in?
|
| 00:36:10 | No, no, we've been here
for 18 months.
|
| 00:36:13 | Oh, okay.
|
| 00:36:13 | - Nice.
|
| 00:36:14 | - Well, maybe it'd be
- a good start.
|
| 00:36:15 | - I like the bathroom as is.
|
| 00:36:17 | But-- Unless you guys
had some better ideas.
|
| 00:36:19 | I think there's definitely
some easy ways--
I mean, we need
to fix some--
Little replacements and
some color would help.
|
| 00:36:26 | Maybe just a little bit
of cleaning as well.
|
| 00:36:29 | That would be
a great start, yeah.
|
| 00:36:31 | You know, some Tilex
up in here.
|
| 00:36:33 | Do you have, like,
a place for towels?
|
| 00:36:36 | - A storage area?
|
| 00:36:37 | - Like a--
We just put our towel there.
|
| 00:36:41 | Kitchen's nice and roomy.
|
| 00:36:42 | Nice and open.
|
| 00:36:44 | Open to many options.
|
| 00:36:47 | - Definitely.
|
| 00:36:48 | - Yeah.
|
| 00:36:48 | Where you thinkin'
about maybe--
like, boxing in the kitchen,
or redoing this area at all?
|
| 00:36:53 | Um-- I hadn't given it
much thought.
|
| 00:36:56 | You know. Whatever's, uh--
you guys would think
was a good idea.
|
| 00:36:59 | I mean, I don't
go in here much.
|
| 00:37:01 | You know,
I order food out mostly.
|
| 00:37:02 | And, you know, hit
the McDonald's and stuff.
|
| 00:37:05 | Well, maybe you can,
like, a single sink.
|
| 00:37:07 | Something a little bigger, or--
Well, that-- I have, um--
I got this brochure.
|
| 00:37:11 | I was thinkin' maybe
that you guys would, uh--
Oh, yeah. Is that
marble or something?
|
| 00:37:18 | You think that would be a good
sink there? Is that--
- It's pretty.
|
| 00:37:21 | - Yeah!
|
| 00:37:22 | - Yeah?
|
| 00:37:22 | - [stammers] Absolutely.
|
| 00:37:23 | Looks a little different,
'cause it actually sits
on top of the surface.
|
| 00:37:25 | - So you'd probably have to--
- Oh. So it would be raised?
|
| 00:37:28 | - Yeah.
|
| 00:37:28 | - It wouldn't be sunken in.
|
| 00:37:30 | That'd be cool, too.
|
| 00:37:31 | It's nice that you have
your own ideas.
|
| 00:37:33 | We'd probably have to
order a sink like that, but--
Well, I can just--
I can get going on this.
|
| 00:37:38 | - Whoa, whoa--
- [sink thudding]
- Uh--
- [laughing]
Well, it came out
really easy.
|
| 00:37:49 | Wow.
|
| 00:37:50 | Uh-- Where--
Is this here now? Or--
- Um, no. We--
- I think that--
You just showed it to us.
|
| 00:37:55 | But I--
- We could--
- You're gonna put that
in, though, right?
|
| 00:37:58 | It's Kohler, so that's
a good company.
|
| 00:37:59 | We can probably get that
hooked up pretty quick.
|
| 00:38:02 | Oh, you don't
have this here?
|
| 00:38:03 | No, not yet.
|
| 00:38:03 | But, you know,
we're shooting for
a little longer,
- so maybe we could
hook that up.
|
| 00:38:07 | - Hm.
|
| 00:38:08 | When will it--
When will it be here?
|
| 00:38:12 | Uh--
I don't--
I can't believe you just
pulled t sink out, dude!
|
| 00:38:17 | I thought you were gonna
put that in right now.
|
| 00:38:18 | And there's no plumbing
or anything.
|
| 00:38:21 | No, that's why we want
to put one in. So--
Oh. So it's not even working.
|
| 00:38:26 | Gonna need some other
parts to the sink.
|
| 00:38:28 | Like the, the--
See these things up here,
when the water
passes up, and--
But you guys have all that
right here, right?
|
| 00:38:34 | - I bet we could find--
- We'd need a plumber.
|
| 00:38:37 | This is why it's got
to be perfect, 'cause,
um, once we do
the house and everything,
and she comes in and she knows
that you designed it
and if it's perfect,
then I'm going to be
proposing to her.
|
| 00:38:47 | Oh, my goodness.
|
| 00:38:48 | - Yeah.
|
| 00:38:48 | - Wow, it's beautiful.
|
| 00:38:50 | I kind of got sold into--
I don't know anything
about rings, and the guy
just kind of told me
what to get.
|
| 00:38:57 | Well, it was a good choice.
|
| 00:38:58 | Try it on maybe, see if--
See if it would
fit you.
|
| 00:39:02 | See how it looks on.
|
| 00:39:06 | Can become nail models.
|
| 00:39:08 | - I think she'll love it.
|
| 00:39:09 | - Oh, good.
|
| 00:39:09 | But we promise, we're going
to do our best here
- and fix it up.
|
| 00:39:12 | - We'll give it a go.
|
| 00:39:14 | We've got some
boards here, so--
Oh, my God.
|
| 00:39:18 | - It's cleaning it up.
|
| 00:39:18 | - That is beautiful.
|
| 00:39:21 | Kind of want to, you know,
honor the traditions
of mobile home living
by sort of
working with the tires as
a little border there.
|
| 00:39:27 | Those are brand-new
tires, though.
|
| 00:39:29 | So that's--
But that's pink.
|
| 00:39:31 | It is.
|
| 00:39:32 | Mandy, is that your favorite
color? 'Cause she'll want--
Pink? Pink's not
my favorite color,
but if that's what you guys
had in mind,
- it's not--
- Well, Ted, did you--
- is this what you wanted?
|
| 00:39:42 | - Yeah, my name's Todd.
|
| 00:39:43 | - I'm sorry.
|
| 00:39:44 | - It's okay.
|
| 00:39:45 | Let's decide on
a color, then.
|
| 00:39:47 | Let's think of one
- you both like.
|
| 00:39:48 | - Let's do, like, a--
And maybe something
a little bit lighter,
to kind of offset
on the shutters.
|
| 00:39:53 | Like a trim color,
very nice.
|
| 00:39:54 | You are so smart.
|
| 00:39:55 | You're beautiful,
you're smart,
and you have
a beautiful voice.
|
| 00:39:58 | Thanks.
|
| 00:39:59 | And you have cool
shoes on, too.
|
| 00:40:01 | This tree works
really well.
|
| 00:40:02 | Look at Mandy's smile.
|
| 00:40:04 | My goodness.
|
| 00:40:07 | I thought the sun
was bright.
|
| 00:40:11 | Mandy, just big energy,
on, like--
'Cause this is like
the kickoff to remodeling.
|
| 00:40:15 | Okay, let's do it.
|
| 00:40:16 | - Let's go!
|
| 00:40:16 | - Okay.
|
| 00:40:18 | - Action.
|
| 00:40:18 | - Hi, I'm Todd Oldham.
|
| 00:40:19 | I'm here with
Mandy Moore today, and Dax,
and we're ready
to crash his crib.
|
| 00:40:22 | We're going to turn
his new house
into a brand-new
love nest.
|
| 00:40:25 | Thank you, Todd. Yeah,
we're here with Dax,
who's very excited.
|
| 00:40:27 | Your girlfriend Bree,
I guess, is anxious to see
what we'll do with her home.
|
| 00:40:30 | - Nice. You guys ready?
|
| 00:40:31 | - I'm ready.
|
| 00:40:33 | Let's do it,
let's get started!
|
| 00:40:35 | Great.
|
| 00:40:42 | [smash]
Holy [bleep].
|
| 00:41:00 | What just happened?
|
| 00:41:03 | [bleep]
Why did you do that?
|
| 00:41:07 | Yeah, is it--
Was anybody hurt?
|
| 00:41:09 | The house was clear,
wasn't it?
|
| 00:41:11 | Was there anybody inside?
|
| 00:41:12 | My ring is in there. Wh--
This is [bleep] up, you guys.
|
| 00:41:14 | [bleep] do this?
|
| 00:41:15 | You got-- You were supposed
to come fix up my place.
|
| 00:41:18 | And it's-- There's nothing
to fix up now.
|
| 00:41:22 | It's totaled.
|
| 00:41:23 | What did you do
to my house?
|
| 00:41:28 | Who's paying for this? You?
|
| 00:41:31 | Ted, are you going
to fix this?
|
| 00:41:33 | MTV was supposed to have
hooked this up.
|
| 00:41:35 | We were just doing
the intro.
|
| 00:41:37 | How am I gonna
propose to her in this--
Mandy, what should
I do here?
|
| 00:41:45 | I don't know.
|
| 00:41:46 | God.
|
| 00:41:47 | I don't know
what to tell you.
|
| 00:41:48 | It's okay,
it's okay.
|
| 00:41:49 | I mean, as long as
no one was hurt.
|
| 00:41:51 | Everything can be fixed.
|
| 00:41:52 | It can be repaired.
|
| 00:41:54 | The ring-- I--
I know, but I'm sure
the ring is fine.
|
| 00:41:56 | She was supposed to come
home and our house--
I know, I know, I know.
|
| 00:41:59 | I-- I'm just--
I have to see
what's ruined.
|
| 00:42:03 | What did you-- I mean--
No, no, no, no, no.
|
| 00:42:05 | This isn't anybody's fault.
|
| 00:42:07 | It was--
What did you do
to my house?
|
| 00:42:12 | You better go talk
to him, right now.
|
| 00:42:13 | It was-- no, no, no, no, no.
|
| 00:42:14 | It's okay. It's okay.
|
| 00:42:16 | Wait-- Was it something to do
with the crane operator?
|
| 00:42:21 | - Was he just--
- What's he doing?
|
| 00:42:23 | How'd Mandy command it down?
|
| 00:42:23 | I mean, they did it.
|
| 00:42:25 | Well, you said let's--
He said to be animated.
|
| 00:42:29 | He said he wanted
an option of me being
a little bit
more animated,
so I said, "Let's--"
You know, "Let's get
it started."
Oh, you did that?
|
| 00:42:35 | That's the release sign.
|
| 00:42:39 | [bleep]
I'm going to go
call someone.
|
| 00:42:45 | This is the only thing
I have left.
|
| 00:42:50 | Hey, Mandy, what's up?
|
| 00:42:51 | This is Ashton Kutcher.
|
| 00:42:54 | We just punk'd you.
|
| 00:42:55 | Really hard. Um, yeah,
that's not a real house.
|
| 00:42:58 | This was all fake.
|
| 00:42:58 | He's not getting married.
|
| 00:43:00 | He doesn't even have
a girlfriend.
|
| 00:43:03 | Yeah.
|
| 00:43:04 | Will you hold
my hair for me?
|
| 00:43:09 | [laughing]
Yay. Mandy, I'm so sorry.
|
| 00:43:14 | - I'm like--
- You're so good.
|
| 00:43:16 | What is going on?
|
| 00:43:18 | - You people are nuts.
|
| 00:43:18 | - I'm so sorry.
|
| 00:43:20 | I'm freaking out that
this guy's lost his house.
|
| 00:43:24 | And he had no roof
to begin with,
no insulation,
there was cracks.
|
| 00:43:28 | I wanted to say that, but I
didn't want to be rude.
|
| 00:43:31 | I mean, I wasn't passing
any judgment, but--
Damn you, Ashton.
|
| 00:43:36 | Up next on Punk'd,
Wilmer Valderrama's ride
gets a makeover.
|
| 00:43:42 | Punk'dstyle.
|
| 00:43:43 | Do something, man!
|
| 00:43:44 | Your car's gettin' smashed!
|
| 00:43:50 | !1PR++P+%:Y1kKhñ
Wil and I are boys.
|
| 00:46:47 | Me, and Wilmer
and Danny are,
like, best boys.
|
| 00:46:53 | We're always,
like, hanging out.
|
| 00:46:55 | Every day I come to work,
Wil has another thing
put on his car,
whether it's, like,
the super-fabo heated mirrors
or, like, the PlayStation
in the car.
|
| 00:47:06 | Then he would come,
and he's got new exhaust.
|
| 00:47:08 | He polishes it
and washes it every day.
|
| 00:47:10 | The kid's out of his mind.
|
| 00:47:11 | He's got this car
completely tricked out.
|
| 00:47:13 | It is his world.
|
| 00:47:14 | It's his baby.
|
| 00:47:15 | So, I figure
the best way to get him
was by destroying his car.
|
| 00:47:18 | We decided to
duplicate his car.
|
| 00:47:21 | I'm Raschid,
and this is my partner Eric.
|
| 00:47:23 | Wil's buddies with the guys
that redo these cars.
|
| 00:47:26 | They were in on it, too, and
they set the car up for us.
|
| 00:47:29 | What we're going to do is
take this vehicle,
the 2002 Escalade,
and duplicate it to look
like Wilmer's vehicle.
|
| 00:47:35 | ♪♪ Ladies, they choose ♪♪
|
| 00:47:36 | ♪♪ They love when I cruise ♪♪
|
| 00:47:38 | ♪♪ They all want
to sleep with me ♪♪
|
| 00:47:41 | ♪♪ Because of 22s on my car ♪♪
|
| 00:47:44 | Go.
|
| 00:47:45 | I started setting Wilmer up
for this gag
about two months ago.
|
| 00:47:49 | I told him that
I slept with this girl,
and that she had
this boyfriend.
|
| 00:47:53 | And that he was, like,
coming after me
and following me around
and stuff.
|
| 00:47:57 | Just to, like, plant a seed.
|
| 00:47:59 | Today, I'm playing the role
of the jealous boyfriend.
|
| 00:48:01 | I'm going to kick the [bleep]
out of his Escalade.
|
| 00:48:03 | So, Danny, Wil, and I have
this restaurant we're opening.
|
| 00:48:06 | We were like, "Man, the guy's
going to just show us around."
He was like, "Okay, cool.
|
| 00:48:09 | Let's check it out."
And I'm like,
"Bring your car."
And I was like, "Okay,
so let me drive this thing."
He had just gotten
this new exhaust,
and I'm like,
"Does it make a difference?"
My Escalade's is completely
stocked to the bone.
|
| 00:48:19 | Is your Escalade going to be
faster than my Escalade?
|
| 00:48:23 | We were, like, leaving work.
|
| 00:48:24 | And Danny was
completely in on it.
|
| 00:48:26 | I brought my own video camera,
like we were gonna
look at the restaurant.
|
| 00:48:29 | I drove it over there.
|
| 00:48:30 | We got it in
the right parking spot.
|
| 00:48:33 | Then the tomfoolery began.
|
| 00:48:36 | Welcome to your new
restaurant.
|
| 00:48:40 | What's up. You Kutch?
|
| 00:48:42 | Yeah. What's up, man?
|
| 00:48:42 | What's your name?
|
| 00:48:44 | I'm cool, I'm cool.
|
| 00:48:46 | All right.
|
| 00:48:46 | Good to see you.
|
| 00:48:54 | I'm like, "That's the guy
whose girlfriend
I hooked up with."
[bleep] dude.
|
| 00:48:59 | That's the guy.
|
| 00:48:59 | I'm like, "Oh, God,"
but didn't go
into it too much
because when you're
trying to fool someone,
if you say too much,
it's obvious.
|
| 00:49:05 | And if you don't say enough,
it's obvious.
|
| 00:49:07 | You just want to,
like, drop hints.
|
| 00:49:09 | That's that girl's boyfriend.
|
| 00:49:10 | Then he was like, "Oh, man."
And I'm like, "Oh, dude.
|
| 00:49:13 | I don't wanna mess
with that guy."
[Wilmer] That's why he's like,
"No, I'm cool."
- [Ashton] Yeah.
|
| 00:49:17 | - Whoops.
|
| 00:49:17 | [Ashton] So, we're,
literally, taking the tour
around this restaurant
and seeing what's going on.
|
| 00:49:21 | And outside, the cars are
getting switched out.
|
| 00:49:24 | We had to pull his car
out of there,
and get the car that we had
all set up in there.
|
| 00:49:28 | And then, we were
off to the races.
|
| 00:49:34 | [Al]
Yeah.
|
| 00:49:35 | What's up now?
|
| 00:49:36 | What's up now?
|
| 00:49:37 | What's up now? Yeah.
|
| 00:49:37 | Yeah, you know who I am.
|
| 00:49:39 | What's up now? What's up now?
|
| 00:49:40 | Yeah, you [bleep] my girl.
|
| 00:49:42 | [bleep] my girl, right?
|
| 00:49:45 | Boom.
|
| 00:49:46 | That's what you gonna do?
|
| 00:49:47 | See you at the club!
|
| 00:49:48 | I see you pimping her [bleep]
at the club!
|
| 00:49:51 | Now what's up? Yeah.
|
| 00:49:52 | You know who I am!
|
| 00:49:53 | - What's up now?
|
| 00:49:53 | - Oh, dude.
|
| 00:49:54 | - Here's some of this.
|
| 00:49:54 | - He just got that exhaust on
the day before.
|
| 00:49:58 | And Al's got the baseball bat
in there, right?
|
| 00:50:00 | That's what, you want
to do it like that?
|
| 00:50:02 | Oh, [bleep].
|
| 00:50:04 | He's like, cranking it around.
|
| 00:50:06 | [glass breaking]
[bleep] my girl, right?
|
| 00:50:09 | You gonna do it like that?
|
| 00:50:10 | That's how
you want to do that?
|
| 00:50:12 | They say once you go black,
you never go back.
|
| 00:50:14 | Once you go white,
that ain't right.
|
| 00:50:16 | You know what else, player?
|
| 00:50:18 | [glass breaking]
- [clanging]
- You want some more?
|
| 00:50:22 | Yeah, yeah. You like
to see how I get down?
|
| 00:50:24 | You think you big and bad,
right, playboy?
|
| 00:50:26 | You got a little
show [bleep], right?
|
| 00:50:28 | Show this!
|
| 00:50:32 | Holy [bleep].
|
| 00:50:36 | -Coming up--
- Another little friend
of yours.
|
| 00:50:39 | - Here's some of that.
|
| 00:50:40 | - That's not my car, man.
|
| 00:50:42 | That's my car, dog.
|
| 00:50:57 | that
health and energy-boostingnutrients
that give your immunesystem a fighting chance.
|
| 00:51:03 | Emergen-c. feel the good.
|
| 00:51:06 | ed-captioning
sponsored by--
It's always a bummer
to get nice people.
|
| 00:53:58 | But nice people are always
the easiest people to get.
|
| 00:54:01 | It's like,
nice people don't expect
anyone to be coming
after them,
because they didn't
do nothing wrong,
and they never
do anything wrong.
|
| 00:54:08 | Why are you doing this to me?
|
| 00:54:10 | What are you--
What did I do?
|
| 00:54:11 | Why-- I'm not a bad guy--
Show this!
|
| 00:54:16 | Do something, man!
|
| 00:54:17 | Your car's gettin' smashed in!
|
| 00:54:24 | [Ashton]
Yo, dude, dude.
|
| 00:54:26 | Oh, oh. You got beef?
|
| 00:54:27 | I could see him, like,
tabulating in his head.
|
| 00:54:28 | The windshield goes in,
it's like, "Ooh, there's 400."
Come on, man. Step up!
|
| 00:54:37 | At least say somethin'.
|
| 00:54:38 | You take my pride, I'm going
to [bleep] up your ride.
|
| 00:54:40 | Come on. That's ridiculous.
|
| 00:54:42 | You didn't think
it'd go down like that.
|
| 00:54:43 | You go [bleep]
in your pants, Pimpy.
|
| 00:54:45 | You want to show
your little friend?
|
| 00:54:47 | I got a little friend
I can show you, okay?
|
| 00:54:49 | I got a little friend of yours.
|
| 00:54:51 | Here's some of that.
|
| 00:54:52 | No. That's ridiculous, man.
|
| 00:54:55 | What's ridiculous about it?
|
| 00:54:56 | It's not even my car, man!
|
| 00:54:57 | Yo, man. That's my car.
|
| 00:54:59 | You probably [bleep]
my girl, too.
|
| 00:55:00 | Wil's like,
"Uh, that's my car."
So you can come get
some of this, too!
|
| 00:55:04 | You party with my man
right here?
|
| 00:55:05 | You probably [bleep]
my girl, too!
|
| 00:55:07 | Chill out, man!
|
| 00:55:08 | This is ridiculous!
|
| 00:55:09 | This is not even my car,
and you're bustin' it up.
|
| 00:55:15 | Guy Babe Ruth your truck, man?
|
| 00:55:15 | What are you doing?
|
| 00:55:25 | [bleep]
[all laughing]
Wil, you got worked so bad.
|
| 00:55:44 | We got your [bleep], son.
|
| 00:55:46 | Welcome to my show, baby.
|
| 00:55:48 | Say hi to
the porta-potty, dude.
|
| 00:55:50 | - Say what's up.
|
| 00:55:50 | - Ahh--
Over here,
you're on that.
|
| 00:55:55 | [laughing, chatter]
[laughing continues]
I got diarrhea!
|
| 00:56:07 | [Ashton]
Hey, 80 bucks, 120.
|
| 00:56:10 | [laughing continues]
He didn't expect nothing.
|
| 00:56:13 | He was just like--
You were so bummed.
|
| 00:56:18 | I could not believe this.
|
| 00:56:22 | I had diarrhea.
|
| 00:56:24 | I wanted to vomit.
|
| 00:56:26 | Um, I [bleep] my pants.
|
| 00:56:27 | And I'm like, oh,
there goes that windshield.
|
| 00:56:29 | [bleep], that is expensive.
|
| 00:56:32 | You owe me a pair
of underwear.
|
| 00:56:35 | Thanks.
|
| 00:56:36 | I'm telling you, man.
|
| 00:56:36 | It's dangerous being my friend.
|
| 00:56:42 | I think we're starting
to get good at this show.
|
| 00:57:06 | Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
|
| 00:57:07 | Burbank, CA
|
