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iCarly - iCook

NIKP

Aired on Monday, Feb 08, 2010 (2/8/2010) at 05:00 PM

Transcript

00:00:00Whaa!
00:00:04>> Yeah, this window has a good view of that convenience store.
00:00:06You know, my partner and i would like to set up a stakeout here for a few days.
00:00:09>> OOH,iCARLYHELPS CATCH A criminal.
00:00:12 who are you guys tryin' to catch?
00:00:14>> The clerk in that convenience store.
00:00:16We have knowledge that he's SELLING PIRATED DVDs-- Illegal copies of hit movies.
00:00:20Man, on walkie-talkie: Tragg!
00:00:22This is stimbler!
00:00:22!
00:00:24>> Hey, stu, I'm in 8-c.
00:00:26My partner.
00:00:28 your partner's name is stu stimbler?
00:00:32>> Detective stuart stimbler.
00:00:34I'll go get him.
00:00:34>> Oh!
00:00:37Oh, no.
00:00:38>> What's wrong?
00:00:41>> I went to sleep-away camp with a kid named stu stimbler.
00:00:43He was the meanest, most obnoxious bully in my whole cabin.
00:00:47" >> well, it's probably not the same guy.
00:00:51 what are the odds that it would be-- >> oh! spencer!
00:00:56>> Oh, no!
00:00:58>> It's me, spanky stimbler!
00:01:00>> I see you!
00:01:01>> Ha!
00:01:02>> Why do they call him spanky?
00:01:04>> I'll show you why.
00:01:05>> No. no, no, no, no!
00:01:06>> Spence! come on!
00:01:08>> No! quit it!
00:01:10>> Whoo! whoo! whoo!
00:01:11>> Thanks for asking!
00:01:13[Spanky laughing] [music] >> okay, I don't see any criminal activity, but I do see a jogger who really should be wearing a bra.
00:01:23Poor guy.
00:01:25 "moving picture experts group"!
00:01:30Do you really think sam's gonna make me get a tattoo of her face?
00:01:33>> I don't know, but if she does, won't your mom freak?
00:01:36>> She freaked when I spilled one tiny drop of mustard on my church pants.
00:01:40>> [Laughing] >> what?
00:01:42" [elevator bell rings] >> what up, party people?
00:01:49Say hello to my cousin, annie.
00:01:51 I thought you said she was in jail.
00:01:54>> Oh, parole, baby.
00:01:57>> Ready, freddie?
00:01:59>> Ready for what?
00:02:00>> Annie's a tattoo artist.
00:02:10>> You made a bet and you lost.
00:02:12Right, carly?
00:02:13>> I want no part of this.
00:02:15I'm just gonna watch the bouncy jogger man.
00:02:18>> Sam, please!
00:02:20I'll do anything else.
00:02:22>> The deal was you get a tattoo.
00:02:24>> I know, but-- >> sit.
00:02:26>> Sam!
00:02:27>> Quit whining, kid.
00:02:28Gettin' a tattoo ain't so bad.
00:02:30>> It's not?
00:02:30 it just hurts a lot and lasts forever.
00:02:34[Tattoo needle humming] >> oh, my god!
00:02:40Now he's doing jumping jacks!
00:02:42[Music] >> ha ha ha ha!
00:02:54>> Oh!
00:02:56Please, don't spank me with my own cucumber!
00:03:00.. [laughing] ooh! tragg, they got peppy-cola!
00:03:07>> Those are carly's.
00:03:08You shouldn't take-- Tragg: Hey, yo, grab me one, would you?
00:03:10>> Aah!
00:03:11[Music] >> ow.
00:03:22Ow!
00:03:23Sam, in tattoo form!
00:03:28So awful.
00:03:30>> How are you hiding that from your mom?
00:03:32>> It's not easy.
00:03:33 doesn't she still give you those bi-weekly body inspections?
00:03:37 I told her I was too old for those a long time ago.
00:03:41>> Yesterday?
00:03:41>> Maybe.
00:03:43>> Hey.
00:03:44I had a pork pot pie in your fridge from last weekend and one of those cops downstairs ate it.
00:03:51>> Well, they drank my peppy-cola.
00:03:53>> They did?
00:03:54>> Do I seem peppy?
00:03:55>> Not really.
00:03:55>> Well.
00:03:58>> How much longer are they gonna be here?
00:03:59It's been like days.
00:04:00 they haven't gotten any good evidence on the guy they think's selling THOSE PIRATED DVDs.
00:04:05>> Okay, guys, 10 seconds.
00:04:06>> Showtime, kid.
00:04:07>> In five, four, three, ..
00:04:12>> Hello.
00:04:12You've reached icarly.com.
00:04:14>> If you're looking ..
00:04:16>> Press one.
00:04:18>> If you're looking ..
00:04:21A cop ate it!
00:04:23 now, if you've ever wondered what the human brain ..
00:04:28Freddie:..
00:04:29>> What are you guys doing?
00:04:30>> We got suspicious activity across the street.
00:04:32>> The view from the downstairs window got blocked by a truck.
00:04:35>> OKAY,iCARLYFANS, This may look like we're trying to do a comedy-- >> shut that camera down!
00:04:39>> We got a police investigation goin' on here. turn that off.
00:04:40 well, maybe you should shut your investigation down.
00:04:42>> We got a web show here.
00:04:43>> Not right now, you don't.
00:04:44Turn off the camera.
00:04:45>> No, no, no, no, no!
00:04:47[Everyone shouting] >> somebody call a congressman!
00:04:55>> I am starving!
00:04:56>> Hey! turn that off!
00:04:58[Static] [music] >> stupid cops, not cleaning up after themselves, interrupting our web show, making me grumble to myself.
00:05:10>> Some people just have no manners.
00:05:16>> Any idea when the cops are gonna arrest that guy and leave?
00:05:20>> No, but it better be soon, 'cause I've had it.
00:05:22>> You thinkyou'vehad it?
00:05:23>> Yes, I know I've had it.
00:05:25 I thought I was rid of that jerky stu stimbler years ago.
00:05:29He ruined camp for me!
00:05:30Do you know what it's like to be harassed every day by some kid?
00:05:39>> Where are those cops anyway?
00:05:40>> They've been upstairs all day.
00:05:42>> Whoa, spencer.
00:05:44Did you make this cake?
00:05:45>> Yeah. it's for socko.
00:05:47See, since he owns his own sock company, I made his birthday cake in the shape of a sock.
00:05:53>> This is incredible.
00:05:55>> How'd you do this?
00:05:56>> I just combined my sculpting skills with my cakery skills, and, boom, sock cake.
00:06:00Shall we applaud?
00:06:03[Knock on door] >> may I come in?
00:06:06Whoops, already in.
00:06:07Freddie, come on.
00:06:08It's time for our class.
00:06:09Spencer, you have a stain on your shirt.
00:06:12Go put on a fresh one.
00:06:13>> [Chuckles] but you're not my mother.
00:06:15>> Mm!
00:06:16>> I'll put on a clean shirt.
00:06:19>> Man, I totally forgot.
00:06:21>> What?
00:06:22>> My mom signed us up for mother-son synchronized swimming classes.
00:06:25>> [Both laughing] >> stop laughing!
00:06:28When I take off my shirt to get in the pool, she's gonna see my tattoo.
00:06:31I'm dead.
00:06:32Mrs. Benson: Freddie?
00:06:35>> Mom, I don't have a swimsuit.
00:06:37>> Which is why I just stopped at mall-mart and bought you this.
00:06:41>> [Both laughing] ..
00:06:48> Let's go.
00:06:51>> Ohh!
00:06:54>> Have fun.
00:06:55>> Swimming simultaneously.
00:06:59>> Dad, I'm bored!
00:07:01>> What amisupposed to do?
00:07:03>> You think I'm irritating!
00:07:05>> I have never said that out loud.
00:07:10>> Uh, why do you guys have a child with you?
00:07:12>> That's his son.
00:07:14>> This bottle's empty.
00:07:20>> His nanny had a nervous breakdown.
00:07:24>> Go in the kitchen and get yourself a can of peppy-cola.
00:07:28Did you buy more?
00:07:29>> Yes.
00:07:29>> Okay, go. yeah, go ahead.
00:07:31..oh, boy!
00:07:34>> So have you geniuses gotten your evidence yet?
00:07:37You know, so you can leave?
00:07:38>> Not yet.
00:07:39>> This stakeout could take two or three more weeks.
00:07:42!
00:07:43!
00:07:44>> Why can't you just go across the street and arrest the guy right now?
00:07:46>> 'Cause we don't have proof yet that he's selling THE ILLEGAL DVDs.
00:07:50>> Hey, did mrs. benson leave?
00:07:53>> Yeah.
00:07:53>> Why'd she tell me to go put on a new-- >> spencer.
00:08:04>> You ate my sock cake.
00:08:06>> What's this big spoon for?
00:08:08>> You ate my sock cake.
00:08:09Why would you eat I don't even know who you are.
00:08:12How could you--oh!
00:08:15>> You're out of peppy-cola.
00:08:17>> Aaaah!
00:11:50[Music] >> okay, you're not gonna believe this.
00:11:56Those cops have gone too far.
00:11:58Spanky let his obnoxious kid use my pear-pod without asking me.
00:12:01>> No way.
00:12:02 he erased half my songs and left it covered in little boy spit.
00:12:08Hey, freddie.
00:12:09What happened in your synchronized swimming class?
00:12:11>> Did your mom see your tattoo?
00:12:12 I kept my shirt on the whole time.
00:12:15I told her I was afraid of gettin' a cloud burn.
00:12:18>> "Cloud burn," good one.
00:12:20 till she drove me to seven different drugstores lookin' for cloud block.
00:12:24>> You guys, help me get rid of those annoying cops.
00:12:27>> Why's it taking so long?
00:12:29>> They say they need solid evidence that the guy's SELLING PIRATED DVDs.
00:12:32>> I bet we could get evidence quicker than those doof-butt cops.
00:12:36 how hard can it be to catch a guy SELLING PIRATED DVDs?
00:12:40We go into the store undercover and get the evidence ourselves.
00:12:43>> Wait, what if the guy's dangerous?
00:12:46>> Half my family's dangerous.
00:12:47So?
00:12:49>> Freddie! freddie!
00:12:52>> Mom, what are you doing here?
00:12:55>> I found cloud block.
00:12:57[Music] >> I never went undercover before.
00:13:07What are you supposed to wear?
00:13:09 freddie's wearing a robot costume.
00:13:12 I'm gonna wear a shirt to hide all this.
00:13:15The idea is just to look normal and blend in.
00:13:18>> What is all that stuff?
00:13:19>> Well, these are microphones, this is the laptop that'll record it all, and these things are wireless receivers that'll pick up the signal from the cameras you two'll be wearing.
00:13:27>> What cameras?
00:13:28>> I brought the cap-cam and the eyeglass-cam.
00:13:41>> Better.
00:13:42>> Way.
00:13:43>> There. how do I look?
00:13:45>> Chunky and lumpy.
00:13:47>> Ha, just like my aunt judy before she got that operation.
00:13:51[Music] ..oh, this could be our guy!
00:13:57>> Yeah, look, he's got the bag.
00:13:58>> I see the bag!
00:13:59>> You think that's our guy?
00:14:00>> That is definitely our guy.
00:14:01>> You got the illegal dvd guy?
00:14:03>> No, the pizza guy.
00:14:06We ordered one a half-hour ago.
00:14:08>> Hope you don't mind, man.
00:14:10We used your credit card.
00:14:13>> No. that's good news.
00:14:16>> Oh, hey, I think somebody dropped a contact lens right there.
00:14:20>> Where? right over here?
00:14:22>> Right there.
00:14:25>> Ha ha ha ha!
00:14:26Spanky strikes again!
00:14:28>> Yeah, he does!
00:14:37>> Hey, we're gonna go out for a little bit.
00:14:39 so what's with the, ..
00:14:44>> Bless you.
00:14:45>> I didn't sneeze.
00:14:47>> Hey, you're remaking socko's cake.
00:14:50 so far, it's comin' out all right.
00:14:52>> What about that horrible little boy?
00:14:54>> Oh, I worked that out he's over there in a large plastic tube.
00:15:01>> Nice.
00:15:02>> So where you guys goin'?
00:15:03>> Uh, we're just gonna run out ..
00:15:09>> Stuff.
00:15:11>> Oh, uh, I need some stuff.
00:15:12>> Yeah, not that kind of stuff.
00:15:13>> Bye.
00:15:15>> Bye. have fun.
00:15:17[Tapping on tube] >> you're dumb!
00:15:25[Music] >> wow, this store is so convenient.
00:15:50[Camera whirring] >> can I help you?
00:15:52>> Well, you know that movie, scarlett's web?
00:15:56>> The spider thing?
00:15:57>> Yeah, I love that movie, but it's really expensive to buy at well-known retail stores.
00:16:04>> So?
00:16:05>> Do you, by any chance, know where a girl might find a cheaper copy?
00:16:09Hmm?
00:16:11>> No.
00:16:13>> Oh. okay, then.
00:16:18Now what?
00:16:19>> Uh, let me try.
00:16:20Just keep your cameras pointed at me.
00:16:30>> Yo, bro, I'm lookin' for a little cheap entertainment.
00:16:35Hook me up?
00:16:37>> Hook you up with what?
00:16:40>> Some cheap entertainment.
00:16:43Here's some cash.
00:16:50>> All right.
00:16:56♪♪ Camptown ladies sing your song, doo-dah, doo-dah, yank my toe till it's five miles long, oh, the doo-dah day ♪♪
00:17:06everybody!
00:17:07♪♪ Yank my toe all night ♪♪
00:17:09>> forget it!
00:17:17..i hear you sell movies here, cheap.
00:17:22Is that true or what?
00:17:24>> Yeah, it's true.
00:17:25>> So you do sell movies.
00:17:28 guess the word's getting around, huh?
00:17:31>> Yeah, the word that you sell pirated movies, right?
00:17:35>> Pirate.
00:17:36>> Yeah, pirated, like illegal copies.
00:17:39>> No, no, no, I sellpiratemovies.
00:17:42Movies about pirates.
00:17:45I make 'em myself with my buddies.
00:17:48This is the first one we ever made-- shiver me booty.
00:17:52..
00:17:54Oh, we made this one last year.
00:17:55It's called pirates of the lima be-an.
00:18:02And, uh, this is our most recent release-- it's calledaaarrrg!
00:18:10?
00:18:12>> That's a pirate word.
00:18:15It means, hello, goodbye, it's likeshalom, only for pirates.
00:18:21>> Interesting.
00:18:22 well, you see, you learn something new every day.
00:18:24>> Yes, today we learned the meaning of "arrgggg," and that the two cops in my apartment are even bigger morons than we thought.
00:18:31Both: Arrrggg!
00:18:33>> Who wants to make a movie?
00:18:38Arrrgggg!
00:18:40[Music] >> Man, on TV: Rrr!
00:18:48Walk the plank!
00:18:49>> No!
00:18:51>> Arrrggg!
00:18:52>> Arrrggg!
00:18:53>> Arrrggg!
00:18:55>> Rrr, sing me a ditty!
00:18:57>> No!
00:19:00>> Rrrrr!
00:19:02>> Rrrrr!
00:19:04>> Rrr! dance!
00:19:05[Music playing] >> rrrr!
00:19:06[Turns off tv] >> well, there's nothing illegal about bad acting.
00:19:11>> I guess we should pack up our stuff.
00:19:13>> I'll go pull our car around front.
00:19:15[Knock on door] >> knock knock, enter, enter.
00:19:19Oh, I didn't realize you had company.
00:19:21Freddie, it's time for-- fredward benson!
00:19:25You got a tattoo?
00:19:27..
00:19:29>> We told him it was wrong.
00:19:31>> "Fredward"?
00:19:33>> Mom, i-- >> you come with me right now.
00:19:36>> Where?
00:19:36>> To a doctor to have that blemish removed!
00:19:39 removing tattoos is extremely painful.
00:19:42>> So is being the mother of a delinquent!
00:19:44>> Mom, you're scaring me!
00:19:46!
00:19:49>> So, when are you gonna tell him it's a fake tattoo?
00:19:53>> Aw, the doctor'll figure it out.
00:19:55>> Your cousin faked it?
00:19:56 temporary, but all the pain of a real tattoo.
00:19:59>> Mmmean!
00:20:04 let's go upstairs and start planning THE NEXTiCARLY.
00:20:07>> Aw, I don't wanna work.
00:20:08>> Beef jerky.
00:20:09>> I'm comin'.
00:20:19>> So, pretty cool, you bein' a cop and all.
00:20:22>> Thanks.
00:20:23>> Got your own handcuffs and everything.
00:20:25>> Oh, yeah.
00:20:26>> You know, there's an easy trick to gettin' out of those.
00:20:28>> What? no, there's not.
00:20:30>> Yeah?
00:20:31Want me to teach you?
00:20:32>> You can try.
00:20:34>> All right, come over here.
00:20:36>> All right.
00:20:36>> Now, the trick is to stay totally relaxed.
00:20:40Bend over this.
00:20:42>> Sure, okay.
00:20:44>> Now we just attach these to your wrist.
00:20:48>> All right.
00:20:50Ooh, that's tight.
00:20:52>> There.
00:20:54..
00:20:56How do I get out?
00:20:58>> Oh, you don't.
00:21:00>> Oh, wait, what's goin' on?
00:21:03>> Payback, spanky!
00:21:05>> No! no!
00:21:07Spencer, come on!
00:21:09>> Yeah!
00:21:10>> Ow!
00:21:11>> Yeah!
00:21:15Watch me spank your daddy!
00:21:17>> [Laughing] >> close your eyes! don't look!
00:21:20Ow!
00:21:21>> [Laughing] [spencer and spanky shouting] péHxD,Xzúb péxD,HXzúbhJp2 d Z(T0<HPhd LXPú8h e(P e(P e(P e(P e(P e(P e ú H(0 xúó xúó xpóXtXoúW8GXoúW8GXoú 8gú0h8gú0h8gú0h8gú0h8gú0 >> in five, four, three, two-- >> hey, it's me, carly.
00:24:52>> On the other hand, I'm sam.
00:24:54" >> voted the number one web show in the world.
00:24:57>> By who?
00:24:58>> Me.
00:24:59>> Then it's official.
00:25:12>> Morgan.
00:25:13>> Oh, hey daddy.
00:25:14>> What are you doing?
00:25:15>> Watching "icarly" online.
00:25:18>> Sweetie, I told you, if daddy doesn't come up with some tv shows that people your age like, daddy's gonna get fired and have no more money, and then you'll starve.
00:25:32So, while I go see my boss, I want you to watch this new show we're making.
00:25:36It's really funny.
00:25:38>> Okay.
00:25:40>> But, michelle, why would you accept two dates to the prom but not tell either boy about the other?
00:25:47>> Because, dad, luke is so sweet, but brandon is so hot.
00:25:54>> Ah, noodles.
00:25:59>> Lame.
00:26:05>> And now, we're gonna see what happens when you take an ordinary watermelon-- >> --and pump it full of pressurized air.
00:26:13>> Yeah, pump up the fruit.
00:26:28>> C'mon! it's gonna blow!
00:26:30C'mon!
00:26:35>> See, she's right there.
00:26:38Morgan, what are you doing?
00:26:39" " >> it's a web show.
00:26:42>> I thought I told you to watch our new show.
00:26:44>> It's lame, daddy.
00:26:47>> It's lame, daddy.
00:26:50>> Now, we'll see what happens when we pump air into freddie's pants.
00:26:53>> Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
00:26:54>> Yeah, pump up the pants.
00:26:56>> These are brand new pants.
00:26:57Seriously guys.
00:26:59C'mon, sam. not my pants.
00:27:00>> It'll be fun.
00:27:02>> Will one of you help me pull this nozzle out?
00:27:04>> If you wanna create something good, then why don't you make a show like that one on the internet?
00:27:08You know, the one that's making your daughter laugh.
00:27:13>> That is an excellent idea, and-- >> no, no.
00:27:16That's too much air.
00:27:17My pants can't take it.
00:27:19Carly, sam.
00:27:27In five, four, three, two-- [music] ♪ I know you see ♪
00:27:35♪ somehow the world ♪
00:27:36♪ will change for me ♪
00:27:37♪ and be so wonderful ♪
00:27:42♪ live life, breathe air ♪
00:27:44♪ I know somehow ♪
00:27:45♪ we're gonna there ♪
00:27:46♪ and feel so wonderful ♪
00:27:51♪ it's all for real ♪
00:27:55♪ I'm telling you ♪
00:27:56♪ just how I feel ♪
00:27:57♪ so wake up ♪
00:27:58♪ the members of my nation ♪
00:28:01♪ it's your time to be ♪
00:28:03♪ there's no chance ♪
00:28:04♪ unless you take one ♪
00:28:06♪ and it's time to see ♪
00:28:07♪ the brighter side ♪
00:28:08♪ of every situation ♪
00:28:12♪ some things ♪
00:28:12♪ are meant to be ♪
00:28:14♪ so give your best ♪
00:28:15♪ and leave the rest to me ♪
00:28:17♪ leave it all to me ♪
00:28:19♪ leave it all to me ♪
00:28:21♪ just leave it all to me ♪
00:28:29[music] >> and so, the hierarchy of the identification system goes kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus-- >> hi.
00:28:42>> Yes, can I help you?
00:28:43>> I've come for carly shay and her friends, sam and freddie.
00:28:46>> You can't just barge into my classroom and demand to take children away without proper-- >> I run a television network.
00:28:50>> Oh, help yourself.
00:28:59>> Hello.
00:29:01>> I'm the head of development for tvs.
00:29:03We wanna turn "icarly" into a hit tv show.
00:29:06Will you come with me?
00:29:09>> Okay.
00:29:10But I should probably call my brother, spencer.
00:29:12He's the adult that's responsible-- they picked me up on the way here.
00:29:16In a limo.
00:29:18It's full of fancy sodas and fruits I never even heard of.
00:29:22This is a guava.
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