iCarly - iCook - Monday, Feb 08, 2010 - mReplay LiveDash TV Transcript: Search Live TV, Twitter, Facebook, News, Blogs, Video sites and other real-time social networks

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iCarly - iCook

NIKP

Aired on Monday, Feb 08, 2010 (2/8/2010) at 05:00 PM

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Transcript

00:00:00	Whaa!
00:00:04	>> Yeah, this window has a good view of that convenience store.
00:00:06	You know, my partner and i would like to set up a stakeout here for a few days.
00:00:09	>> OOH,iCARLYHELPS CATCH A criminal.
00:00:12	who are you guys tryin' to catch?
00:00:14	>> The clerk in that convenience store.
00:00:16	We have knowledge that he's SELLING PIRATED DVDs-- Illegal copies of hit movies.
00:00:20	Man, on walkie-talkie: Tragg!
00:00:22	This is stimbler!
00:00:22	!
00:00:24	>> Hey, stu, I'm in 8-c.
00:00:26	My partner.
00:00:28	your partner's name is stu stimbler?
00:00:32	>> Detective stuart stimbler.
00:00:34	I'll go get him.
00:00:34	>> Oh!
00:00:37	Oh, no.
00:00:38	>> What's wrong?
00:00:41	>> I went to sleep-away camp with a kid named stu stimbler.
00:00:43	He was the meanest, most obnoxious bully in my whole cabin.
00:00:47	" >> well, it's probably not the same guy.
00:00:51	what are the odds that it would be-- >> oh! spencer!
00:00:56	>> Oh, no!
00:00:58	>> It's me, spanky stimbler!
00:01:00	>> I see you!
00:01:01	>> Ha!
00:01:02	>> Why do they call him spanky?
00:01:04	>> I'll show you why.
00:01:05	>> No. no, no, no, no!
00:01:06	>> Spence! come on!
00:01:08	>> No! quit it!
00:01:10	>> Whoo! whoo! whoo!
00:01:11	>> Thanks for asking!
00:01:13	[Spanky laughing] [music] >> okay, I don't see any criminal activity, but I do see a jogger who really should be wearing a bra.
00:01:23	Poor guy.
00:01:25	"moving picture experts group"!
00:01:30	Do you really think sam's gonna make me get a tattoo of her face?
00:01:33	>> I don't know, but if she does, won't your mom freak?
00:01:36	>> She freaked when I spilled one tiny drop of mustard on my church pants.
00:01:40	>> [Laughing] >> what?
00:01:42	" [elevator bell rings] >> what up, party people?
00:01:49	Say hello to my cousin, annie.
00:01:51	I thought you said she was in jail.
00:01:54	>> Oh, parole, baby.
00:01:57	>> Ready, freddie?
00:01:59	>> Ready for what?
00:02:00	>> Annie's a tattoo artist.
00:02:10	>> You made a bet and you lost.
00:02:12	Right, carly?
00:02:13	>> I want no part of this.
00:02:15	I'm just gonna watch the bouncy jogger man.
00:02:18	>> Sam, please!
00:02:20	I'll do anything else.
00:02:22	>> The deal was you get a tattoo.
00:02:24	>> I know, but-- >> sit.
00:02:26	>> Sam!
00:02:27	>> Quit whining, kid.
00:02:28	Gettin' a tattoo ain't so bad.
00:02:30	>> It's not?
00:02:30	it just hurts a lot and lasts forever.
00:02:34	[Tattoo needle humming] >> oh, my god!
00:02:40	Now he's doing jumping jacks!
00:02:42	[Music] >> ha ha ha ha!
00:02:54	>> Oh!
00:02:56	Please, don't spank me with my own cucumber!
00:03:00	.. [laughing] ooh! tragg, they got peppy-cola!
00:03:07	>> Those are carly's.
00:03:08	You shouldn't take-- Tragg: Hey, yo, grab me one, would you?
00:03:10	>> Aah!
00:03:11	[Music] >> ow.
00:03:22	Ow!
00:03:23	Sam, in tattoo form!
00:03:28	So awful.
00:03:30	>> How are you hiding that from your mom?
00:03:32	>> It's not easy.
00:03:33	doesn't she still give you those bi-weekly body inspections?
00:03:37	I told her I was too old for those a long time ago.
00:03:41	>> Yesterday?
00:03:41	>> Maybe.
00:03:43	>> Hey.
00:03:44	I had a pork pot pie in your fridge from last weekend and one of those cops downstairs ate it.
00:03:51	>> Well, they drank my peppy-cola.
00:03:53	>> They did?
00:03:54	>> Do I seem peppy?
00:03:55	>> Not really.
00:03:55	>> Well.
00:03:58	>> How much longer are they gonna be here?
00:03:59	It's been like days.
00:04:00	they haven't gotten any good evidence on the guy they think's selling THOSE PIRATED DVDs.
00:04:05	>> Okay, guys, 10 seconds.
00:04:06	>> Showtime, kid.
00:04:07	>> In five, four, three, ..
00:04:12	>> Hello.
00:04:12	You've reached icarly.com.
00:04:14	>> If you're looking ..
00:04:16	>> Press one.
00:04:18	>> If you're looking ..
00:04:21	A cop ate it!
00:04:23	now, if you've ever wondered what the human brain ..
00:04:28	Freddie:..
00:04:29	>> What are you guys doing?
00:04:30	>> We got suspicious activity across the street.
00:04:32	>> The view from the downstairs window got blocked by a truck.
00:04:35	>> OKAY,iCARLYFANS, This may look like we're trying to do a comedy-- >> shut that camera down!
00:04:39	>> We got a police investigation goin' on here. turn that off.
00:04:40	well, maybe you should shut your investigation down.
00:04:42	>> We got a web show here.
00:04:43	>> Not right now, you don't.
00:04:44	Turn off the camera.
00:04:45	>> No, no, no, no, no!
00:04:47	[Everyone shouting] >> somebody call a congressman!
00:04:55	>> I am starving!
00:04:56	>> Hey! turn that off!
00:04:58	[Static] [music] >> stupid cops, not cleaning up after themselves, interrupting our web show, making me grumble to myself.
00:05:10	>> Some people just have no manners.
00:05:16	>> Any idea when the cops are gonna arrest that guy and leave?
00:05:20	>> No, but it better be soon, 'cause I've had it.
00:05:22	>> You thinkyou'vehad it?
00:05:23	>> Yes, I know I've had it.
00:05:25	I thought I was rid of that jerky stu stimbler years ago.
00:05:29	He ruined camp for me!
00:05:30	Do you know what it's like to be harassed every day by some kid?
00:05:39	>> Where are those cops anyway?
00:05:40	>> They've been upstairs all day.
00:05:42	>> Whoa, spencer.
00:05:44	Did you make this cake?
00:05:45	>> Yeah. it's for socko.
00:05:47	See, since he owns his own sock company, I made his birthday cake in the shape of a sock.
00:05:53	>> This is incredible.
00:05:55	>> How'd you do this?
00:05:56	>> I just combined my sculpting skills with my cakery skills, and, boom, sock cake.
00:06:00	Shall we applaud?
00:06:03	[Knock on door] >> may I come in?
00:06:06	Whoops, already in.
00:06:07	Freddie, come on.
00:06:08	It's time for our class.
00:06:09	Spencer, you have a stain on your shirt.
00:06:12	Go put on a fresh one.
00:06:13	>> [Chuckles] but you're not my mother.
00:06:15	>> Mm!
00:06:16	>> I'll put on a clean shirt.
00:06:19	>> Man, I totally forgot.
00:06:21	>> What?
00:06:22	>> My mom signed us up for mother-son synchronized swimming classes.
00:06:25	>> [Both laughing] >> stop laughing!
00:06:28	When I take off my shirt to get in the pool, she's gonna see my tattoo.
00:06:31	I'm dead.
00:06:32	Mrs. Benson: Freddie?
00:06:35	>> Mom, I don't have a swimsuit.
00:06:37	>> Which is why I just stopped at mall-mart and bought you this.
00:06:41	>> [Both laughing] ..
00:06:48	> Let's go.
00:06:51	>> Ohh!
00:06:54	>> Have fun.
00:06:55	>> Swimming simultaneously.
00:06:59	>> Dad, I'm bored!
00:07:01	>> What amisupposed to do?
00:07:03	>> You think I'm irritating!
00:07:05	>> I have never said that out loud.
00:07:10	>> Uh, why do you guys have a child with you?
00:07:12	>> That's his son.
00:07:14	>> This bottle's empty.
00:07:20	>> His nanny had a nervous breakdown.
00:07:24	>> Go in the kitchen and get yourself a can of peppy-cola.
00:07:28	Did you buy more?
00:07:29	>> Yes.
00:07:29	>> Okay, go. yeah, go ahead.
00:07:31	..oh, boy!
00:07:34	>> So have you geniuses gotten your evidence yet?
00:07:37	You know, so you can leave?
00:07:38	>> Not yet.
00:07:39	>> This stakeout could take two or three more weeks.
00:07:42	!
00:07:43	!
00:07:44	>> Why can't you just go across the street and arrest the guy right now?
00:07:46	>> 'Cause we don't have proof yet that he's selling THE ILLEGAL DVDs.
00:07:50	>> Hey, did mrs. benson leave?
00:07:53	>> Yeah.
00:07:53	>> Why'd she tell me to go put on a new-- >> spencer.
00:08:04	>> You ate my sock cake.
00:08:06	>> What's this big spoon for?
00:08:08	>> You ate my sock cake.
00:08:09	Why would you eat I don't even know who you are.
00:08:12	How could you--oh!
00:08:15	>> You're out of peppy-cola.
00:08:17	>> Aaaah!
00:11:50	[Music] >> okay, you're not gonna believe this.
00:11:56	Those cops have gone too far.
00:11:58	Spanky let his obnoxious kid use my pear-pod without asking me.
00:12:01	>> No way.
00:12:02	he erased half my songs and left it covered in little boy spit.
00:12:08	Hey, freddie.
00:12:09	What happened in your synchronized swimming class?
00:12:11	>> Did your mom see your tattoo?
00:12:12	I kept my shirt on the whole time.
00:12:15	I told her I was afraid of gettin' a cloud burn.
00:12:18	>> "Cloud burn," good one.
00:12:20	till she drove me to seven different drugstores lookin' for cloud block.
00:12:24	>> You guys, help me get rid of those annoying cops.
00:12:27	>> Why's it taking so long?
00:12:29	>> They say they need solid evidence that the guy's SELLING PIRATED DVDs.
00:12:32	>> I bet we could get evidence quicker than those doof-butt cops.
00:12:36	how hard can it be to catch a guy SELLING PIRATED DVDs?
00:12:40	We go into the store undercover and get the evidence ourselves.
00:12:43	>> Wait, what if the guy's dangerous?
00:12:46	>> Half my family's dangerous.
00:12:47	So?
00:12:49	>> Freddie! freddie!
00:12:52	>> Mom, what are you doing here?
00:12:55	>> I found cloud block.
00:12:57	[Music] >> I never went undercover before.
00:13:07	What are you supposed to wear?
00:13:09	freddie's wearing a robot costume.
00:13:12	I'm gonna wear a shirt to hide all this.
00:13:15	The idea is just to look normal and blend in.
00:13:18	>> What is all that stuff?
00:13:19	>> Well, these are microphones, this is the laptop that'll record it all, and these things are wireless receivers that'll pick up the signal from the cameras you two'll be wearing.
00:13:27	>> What cameras?
00:13:28	>> I brought the cap-cam and the eyeglass-cam.
00:13:41	>> Better.
00:13:42	>> Way.
00:13:43	>> There. how do I look?
00:13:45	>> Chunky and lumpy.
00:13:47	>> Ha, just like my aunt judy before she got that operation.
00:13:51	[Music] ..oh, this could be our guy!
00:13:57	>> Yeah, look, he's got the bag.
00:13:58	>> I see the bag!
00:13:59	>> You think that's our guy?
00:14:00	>> That is definitely our guy.
00:14:01	>> You got the illegal dvd guy?
00:14:03	>> No, the pizza guy.
00:14:06	We ordered one a half-hour ago.
00:14:08	>> Hope you don't mind, man.
00:14:10	We used your credit card.
00:14:13	>> No. that's good news.
00:14:16	>> Oh, hey, I think somebody dropped a contact lens right there.
00:14:20	>> Where? right over here?
00:14:22	>> Right there.
00:14:25	>> Ha ha ha ha!
00:14:26	Spanky strikes again!
00:14:28	>> Yeah, he does!
00:14:37	>> Hey, we're gonna go out for a little bit.
00:14:39	so what's with the, ..
00:14:44	>> Bless you.
00:14:45	>> I didn't sneeze.
00:14:47	>> Hey, you're remaking socko's cake.
00:14:50	so far, it's comin' out all right.
00:14:52	>> What about that horrible little boy?
00:14:54	>> Oh, I worked that out he's over there in a large plastic tube.
00:15:01	>> Nice.
00:15:02	>> So where you guys goin'?
00:15:03	>> Uh, we're just gonna run out ..
00:15:09	>> Stuff.
00:15:11	>> Oh, uh, I need some stuff.
00:15:12	>> Yeah, not that kind of stuff.
00:15:13	>> Bye.
00:15:15	>> Bye. have fun.
00:15:17	[Tapping on tube] >> you're dumb!
00:15:25	[Music] >> wow, this store is so convenient.
00:15:50	[Camera whirring] >> can I help you?
00:15:52	>> Well, you know that movie, scarlett's web?
00:15:56	>> The spider thing?
00:15:57	>> Yeah, I love that movie, but it's really expensive to buy at well-known retail stores.
00:16:04	>> So?
00:16:05	>> Do you, by any chance, know where a girl might find a cheaper copy?
00:16:09	Hmm?
00:16:11	>> No.
00:16:13	>> Oh. okay, then.
00:16:18	Now what?
00:16:19	>> Uh, let me try.
00:16:20	Just keep your cameras pointed at me.
00:16:30	>> Yo, bro, I'm lookin' for a little cheap entertainment.
00:16:35	Hook me up?
00:16:37	>> Hook you up with what?
00:16:40	>> Some cheap entertainment.
00:16:43	Here's some cash.
00:16:50	>> All right.
00:16:56	♪♪ Camptown ladies sing your song, doo-dah, doo-dah, yank my toe till it's five miles long, oh, the doo-dah day ♪♪
00:17:06	everybody!
00:17:07	♪♪ Yank my toe all night ♪♪
00:17:09	>> forget it!
00:17:17	..i hear you sell movies here, cheap.
00:17:22	Is that true or what?
00:17:24	>> Yeah, it's true.
00:17:25	>> So you do sell movies.
00:17:28	guess the word's getting around, huh?
00:17:31	>> Yeah, the word that you sell pirated movies, right?
00:17:35	>> Pirate.
00:17:36	>> Yeah, pirated, like illegal copies.
00:17:39	>> No, no, no, I sellpiratemovies.
00:17:42	Movies about pirates.
00:17:45	I make 'em myself with my buddies.
00:17:48	This is the first one we ever made-- shiver me booty.
00:17:52	..
00:17:54	Oh, we made this one last year.
00:17:55	It's called pirates of the lima be-an.
00:18:02	And, uh, this is our most recent release-- it's calledaaarrrg!
00:18:10	?
00:18:12	>> That's a pirate word.
00:18:15	It means, hello, goodbye, it's likeshalom, only for pirates.
00:18:21	>> Interesting.
00:18:22	well, you see, you learn something new every day.
00:18:24	>> Yes, today we learned the meaning of "arrgggg," and that the two cops in my apartment are even bigger morons than we thought.
00:18:31	Both: Arrrggg!
00:18:33	>> Who wants to make a movie?
00:18:38	Arrrgggg!
00:18:40	[Music] >> Man, on TV: Rrr!
00:18:48	Walk the plank!
00:18:49	>> No!
00:18:51	>> Arrrggg!
00:18:52	>> Arrrggg!
00:18:53	>> Arrrggg!
00:18:55	>> Rrr, sing me a ditty!
00:18:57	>> No!
00:19:00	>> Rrrrr!
00:19:02	>> Rrrrr!
00:19:04	>> Rrr! dance!
00:19:05	[Music playing] >> rrrr!
00:19:06	[Turns off tv] >> well, there's nothing illegal about bad acting.
00:19:11	>> I guess we should pack up our stuff.
00:19:13	>> I'll go pull our car around front.
00:19:15	[Knock on door] >> knock knock, enter, enter.
00:19:19	Oh, I didn't realize you had company.
00:19:21	Freddie, it's time for-- fredward benson!
00:19:25	You got a tattoo?
00:19:27	..
00:19:29	>> We told him it was wrong.
00:19:31	>> "Fredward"?
00:19:33	>> Mom, i-- >> you come with me right now.
00:19:36	>> Where?
00:19:36	>> To a doctor to have that blemish removed!
00:19:39	removing tattoos is extremely painful.
00:19:42	>> So is being the mother of a delinquent!
00:19:44	>> Mom, you're scaring me!
00:19:46	!
00:19:49	>> So, when are you gonna tell him it's a fake tattoo?
00:19:53	>> Aw, the doctor'll figure it out.
00:19:55	>> Your cousin faked it?
00:19:56	temporary, but all the pain of a real tattoo.
00:19:59	>> Mmmean!
00:20:04	let's go upstairs and start planning THE NEXTiCARLY.
00:20:07	>> Aw, I don't wanna work.
00:20:08	>> Beef jerky.
00:20:09	>> I'm comin'.
00:20:19	>> So, pretty cool, you bein' a cop and all.
00:20:22	>> Thanks.
00:20:23	>> Got your own handcuffs and everything.
00:20:25	>> Oh, yeah.
00:20:26	>> You know, there's an easy trick to gettin' out of those.
00:20:28	>> What? no, there's not.
00:20:30	>> Yeah?
00:20:31	Want me to teach you?
00:20:32	>> You can try.
00:20:34	>> All right, come over here.
00:20:36	>> All right.
00:20:36	>> Now, the trick is to stay totally relaxed.
00:20:40	Bend over this.
00:20:42	>> Sure, okay.
00:20:44	>> Now we just attach these to your wrist.
00:20:48	>> All right.
00:20:50	Ooh, that's tight.
00:20:52	>> There.
00:20:54	..
00:20:56	How do I get out?
00:20:58	>> Oh, you don't.
00:21:00	>> Oh, wait, what's goin' on?
00:21:03	>> Payback, spanky!
00:21:05	>> No! no!
00:21:07	Spencer, come on!
00:21:09	>> Yeah!
00:21:10	>> Ow!
00:21:11	>> Yeah!
00:21:15	Watch me spank your daddy!
00:21:17	>> [Laughing] >> close your eyes! don't look!
00:21:20	Ow!
00:21:21	>> [Laughing] [spencer and spanky shouting] péHxD,Xzúb péxD,HXzúbhJp2 d Z(T0<HPhd LXPú8h e(P e(P e(P e(P e(P e(P e ú H(0 xúó xúó xpóXtXoúW8GXoúW8GXoú 8gú0h8gú0h8gú0h8gú0h8gú0 >> in five, four, three, two-- >> hey, it's me, carly.
00:24:52	>> On the other hand, I'm sam.
00:24:54	" >> voted the number one web show in the world.
00:24:57	>> By who?
00:24:58	>> Me.
00:24:59	>> Then it's official.
00:25:12	>> Morgan.
00:25:13	>> Oh, hey daddy.
00:25:14	>> What are you doing?
00:25:15	>> Watching "icarly" online.
00:25:18	>> Sweetie, I told you, if daddy doesn't come up with some tv shows that people your age like, daddy's gonna get fired and have no more money, and then you'll starve.
00:25:32	So, while I go see my boss, I want you to watch this new show we're making.
00:25:36	It's really funny.
00:25:38	>> Okay.
00:25:40	>> But, michelle, why would you accept two dates to the prom but not tell either boy about the other?
00:25:47	>> Because, dad, luke is so sweet, but brandon is so hot.
00:25:54	>> Ah, noodles.
00:25:59	>> Lame.
00:26:05	>> And now, we're gonna see what happens when you take an ordinary watermelon-- >> --and pump it full of pressurized air.
00:26:13	>> Yeah, pump up the fruit.
00:26:28	>> C'mon! it's gonna blow!
00:26:30	C'mon!
00:26:35	>> See, she's right there.
00:26:38	Morgan, what are you doing?
00:26:39	" " >> it's a web show.
00:26:42	>> I thought I told you to watch our new show.
00:26:44	>> It's lame, daddy.
00:26:47	>> It's lame, daddy.
00:26:50	>> Now, we'll see what happens when we pump air into freddie's pants.
00:26:53	>> Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
00:26:54	>> Yeah, pump up the pants.
00:26:56	>> These are brand new pants.
00:26:57	Seriously guys.
00:26:59	C'mon, sam. not my pants.
00:27:00	>> It'll be fun.
00:27:02	>> Will one of you help me pull this nozzle out?
00:27:04	>> If you wanna create something good, then why don't you make a show like that one on the internet?
00:27:08	You know, the one that's making your daughter laugh.
00:27:13	>> That is an excellent idea, and-- >> no, no.
00:27:16	That's too much air.
00:27:17	My pants can't take it.
00:27:19	Carly, sam.
00:27:27	In five, four, three, two-- [music] ♪ I know you see ♪
00:27:35	♪ somehow the world ♪
00:27:36	♪ will change for me ♪
00:27:37	♪ and be so wonderful ♪
00:27:42	♪ live life, breathe air ♪
00:27:44	♪ I know somehow ♪
00:27:45	♪ we're gonna there ♪
00:27:46	♪ and feel so wonderful ♪
00:27:51	♪ it's all for real ♪
00:27:55	♪ I'm telling you ♪
00:27:56	♪ just how I feel ♪
00:27:57	♪ so wake up ♪
00:27:58	♪ the members of my nation ♪
00:28:01	♪ it's your time to be ♪
00:28:03	♪ there's no chance ♪
00:28:04	♪ unless you take one ♪
00:28:06	♪ and it's time to see ♪
00:28:07	♪ the brighter side ♪
00:28:08	♪ of every situation ♪
00:28:12	♪ some things ♪
00:28:12	♪ are meant to be ♪
00:28:14	♪ so give your best ♪
00:28:15	♪ and leave the rest to me ♪
00:28:17	♪ leave it all to me ♪
00:28:19	♪ leave it all to me ♪
00:28:21	♪ just leave it all to me ♪
00:28:29	[music] >> and so, the hierarchy of the identification system goes kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus-- >> hi.
00:28:42	>> Yes, can I help you?
00:28:43	>> I've come for carly shay and her friends, sam and freddie.
00:28:46	>> You can't just barge into my classroom and demand to take children away without proper-- >> I run a television network.
00:28:50	>> Oh, help yourself.
00:28:59	>> Hello.
00:29:01	>> I'm the head of development for tvs.
00:29:03	We wanna turn "icarly" into a hit tv show.
00:29:06	Will you come with me?
00:29:09	>> Okay.
00:29:10	But I should probably call my brother, spencer.
00:29:12	He's the adult that's responsible-- they picked me up on the way here.
00:29:16	In a limo.
00:29:18	It's full of fancy sodas and fruits I never even heard of.
00:29:22	This is a guava.

Word Map

Freddie stuff five sock store class making think four right come people cake Music Okay long make Yeah take thought pump freddie carly music help PIRATED icarly well What movies spanky good pants laughing show Laughing three cops like guys Where gonna made idea told shirt turn Well leave evidence tattoo Arrrggg stimbler time DVDs This spencer know daddy look

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