Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode II

TOONP

Aired on Monday, Dec 20, 2010 (12/20/2010) at 12:00 AM

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Transcript

00:00:01>> There's one.
00:00:02Set for stun.
00:00:03Ugh!
00:00:05>> He said stun.
00:00:06[ Crying ] it wasn't gonna hurt ya.
00:00:09He said stun.
00:00:12[ Beeping ] >> [ roars ] >> [ screeches, gasps ] [ beeping ] [ alarm blaring ] ] whoo!
00:00:30>> Go to the jedi temple.
00:00:32Do what must be done.
00:00:36>> Mr. skywalker.
00:00:37What's going on?
00:00:39>> All of you line up, oldest to youngest.
00:00:41>> What for, sir?
00:00:43..a treat.
00:00:44[ Excited chattering ] ..everyone just, uh, close your eyes real tight and put your fingers in your ears.
00:00:54No peeking.
00:00:55 skywalker, can my treat just be a hug?
00:01:00>> You can do this, anakin.
00:01:01Just -- just go to your happy place.
00:01:03Oh, remember the fields of naboo, where you fell in love.
00:01:07Yeah.
00:01:11Yeah!
00:01:12Oh, it's beautiful.
00:01:15Oh, nature!
00:01:18I feel alive!
00:01:19Oh, yeah!
00:01:21Aah, hyah!
00:01:23Oh, I'm so in love.
00:01:25Aah, hyah!
00:01:27Ra-a-a-r!
00:01:28[ Laughing ] WHERE YOU GOING Come here.
00:01:30Yeah!
00:01:32Oh, yeah!
00:01:35That was nice.
00:01:37>> Anakin, I'm home!
00:01:38>> Oh, good.
00:01:39I left you some fresh-cut sunflowers on the dining table.
00:01:42..
00:01:45[ Glass shatters ] >> our forces are almost in place.
00:01:58>> This is general veers.
00:02:00Begin your attack.
00:02:01>> Yeeeee-haw!
00:02:03>> What the hell are you doing?
00:02:05Slow down.
00:02:06>> Ow!
00:02:07>> Ooh!
00:02:08>> Here they come!
00:02:13They're beautiful!
00:02:18>> You just passed them.
00:02:19You got to tur-- look out!
00:02:22[ At-at squealing ] >> yeah!
00:02:27That was awesome!
00:02:29Whoo-hoo!
00:02:32>> General veers, report on the attack.
00:02:34..
00:02:38Ha ha!
00:02:39Whoo!
00:02:39I love this thing!
00:02:41>> This is it, mom.
00:02:42Everyone has a destiny, and mine is just over that horizon.
00:02:45>> Krayt, listen to reason.
00:02:47The elders all say it's just a ding ocean of desert out there.
00:02:52>> Oh, pishposh.
00:02:53What kind of cruel god would create a whole planet defined by just one topographical feature?
00:02:57Why, that'd be as ridiculous as a whole world made of nothing but ice, lava, or forest.
00:03:03No, sometimes you just have to dig deep down inside yourself and find the courage to say, look out, world.
00:03:10Here comes krayt dragon.
00:03:19>> What is thy bidding, my master?
00:03:21>> My bidding?
00:03:22How about I bid thee to stop ramming the ship into [bleep] asteroid fields?
00:03:26Can you handle that?
00:03:27>> I'm trying.
00:03:28>> Yeah? well, there is no try.
00:03:29There's do and there's [bleep] royal.
00:03:31And you are [bleep] royal, so I'm hiring bounty hunters to do the job.
00:03:34>> But I -- >> no buts.
00:03:35It's already ringing.
00:03:36You look so tiny down there, like a little mean pepper shaker.
00:03:40Sheila, hey, it's palpatine.
00:03:42Listen, I need you to place an ad for me, will yoy hunters to, um -- to find and locate -- yeah, I guess that is the same thing.
00:03:52Okay, to locate the millennium falcon.
00:03:55She's typing.
00:03:56So all you see is my head, huh?
00:03:58Can you see this?
00:03:59Who-o-o-o-o-o-o-op! up!
00:04:01>> Yes, I c-- >> no, I'ght.
00:04:03Oh, and be sure to mention some kind of a reward.
00:04:06What? oh, I don't know.
00:04:07How much do you think?
00:04:09Really?
00:04:09That seems a little high to me.
00:04:11No, I see your point.
00:04:12I tell you what, why don't we just say "substantial reward" and leave it at that?
00:04:16Okay, thanks, sheila.
00:04:17What?
00:04:18[ Sighs ] sure. what's his name?
00:04:21Dengar?
00:04:22Sounds good.
00:04:23Yeah, no, we'll bring him in first thing.
00:04:26Okay. okay, bye-bye.
00:04:27Sheila's husband's a bounty hunter.
00:04:29I told her we'd give him a look-see.
00:04:33>> [ Mechanical breathing ] >> bet that knee's starting to hurt.
00:06:06M just not feelin' it >> sally johnson is a real person, not an actor, so to tell her story, we hired the star of " >> I was driving down my street when a truck hit me head-on.
00:08:43>> Osa-noes!
00:08:44There's a truck a-comin'!
00:08:46Aaaah!
00:08:48We's-a gonna die!
00:08:50>> Yes.
00:08:50I was fine, but the car was totaled.
00:08:53>> Whoo-ee patootie!
00:08:54It's a mess!
00:08:55Got the engine over here, but the wheel for steerin' way over there!
00:09:00Aah!
00:09:00>> My agent at gecko insurance sent me a check right away.
00:09:03>> You-sa not even gonna believe this.
00:09:06Ja wheh.
00:09:07We win da money.
00:09:08Whoopee!
00:09:09Wha-aaaah!
00:09:10Whoa!
00:09:11>> Um, I think I was explaining it better than he was.
00:09:14>> Gecko -- real help.
00:09:16Real money.
00:09:17>> Me-sa thinks me broke me bombad spine!
00:09:20Did -- did they say cut?
00:09:23>> Bounty hunters?
00:09:24We don't need their scum.
00:09:25>> My brother's a bounty hunter, gareth.
00:09:32>> Tre will be a substantial reward for whoever captures the millennium falcon.
00:09:37Is he paying attention?
00:09:39[ Mechanical breathing ] [ horn sounds, crowd cheering ] >> can't wait to get started, right, fellas?
00:09:48Got to hunt that bounty, but the bounty's in the hunt, I always tricks of the trade, trade secret -- disintegration devices.
00:09:53D-guns, d-bombs, d-missiles.
00:09:54I'm the disintegration machine.
00:09:55Want a guy disintegrated, get me integrated.
00:09:57That's dengar's motto.
00:09:58>> I want them alive.
00:10:00No disintegrations.
00:10:01>> As you wish.
00:10:02>> Aw, shucks.
00:10:04See you at the finish line, a-hole.
00:10:05>> Where my keys?
00:10:06Best bounty hunter in the league.
00:10:07>> Better stop soft-shoeing.
00:10:08>> We are bounty hunters!
00:10:12>> I got to say, boba, this is one beauty of a ship.
00:10:15I'm not crazy about the name, though.
00:10:17I've made a deal that will keep the empire out of our affairs forever.
00:10:25>> [ Roars ] >> we'd be honored if you could join us.
00:10:48[ Grumbling ] [ slurping ] >> c-can I get a little more water?
00:10:59>> What?
00:10:59 [ clears throat ] I just asked for more water.
00:11:06Hmm?
00:11:07>> Keek!
00:11:09>> [ Growls ] >> peow!
00:11:11>> [ Blowing ] >> [ imitates creaking ] >> [ growls ] >> so, how we doing?
00:11:20Leia, how's the soup?
00:11:21You ever had soup this good?
00:11:23>> Yes, on alderaan.
00:11:25>> Hey, princess, let it g-o-o-o-o-o-o.
00:11:32"Oh, help me.
00:11:33" " ka-bo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-om!
00:11:40Big laser.
00:11:41[ Imitates gunfire ] alderaan chunks everywhere.
00:11:44Psheeeew!
00:11:50>> Anyone, uh -- anyone got a joke?
00:11:53>> I've got one.
00:11:54Who's got two thumbs and betrayed his best friend?
00:11:58This guy!
00:11:59[ Laughs ] uh, too soon?
00:12:03>> Well, it's been a time and a half.
00:12:07But -- [ yawns ] lot of torturing to do.
00:12:11A-broo-boo-boo.
00:12:13Do-de-da-le-do-do.
00:12:15Aroooo!
00:12:18 have you or someone you know been permanently handicapped by a jedi?
00:12:22If so, call me, bob goldstein, at naboo-5-sue-jedi.
00:12:25I'll get you the money you deserve fast.
00:12:38I have over 10 years' experience, and I'm ready to work for you.
00:12:41>> At last we will have our revenge.
00:12:43>> You call now.

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