| 00:00:09 | y y yeration.
|
| 00:00:12 | No one can keep trackof all those kids
with those littleorange boxes of change.
|
| 00:00:17 | Oh, no.it's sally weaver.
|
| 00:00:19 | Oh, yeah, yourold college roommate.
|
| 00:00:22 | No, it's susan ross'old college roommate.
|
| 00:00:24 | She moved to new yorka few years ago.
|
| 00:00:26 | She's trying tobecome an actress.
|
| 00:00:28 | Ah, dramaticor comedic?
|
| 00:00:29 | Untalented.
|
| 00:00:30 | She's always inviting meto see her in some
bad play
in a tiny roomwithout ventilation.
|
| 00:00:35 | It's really depressing.
|
| 00:00:36 | You know, we don'tgo to enough theater.
|
| 00:00:38 | She should just give up.
|
| 00:00:42 | ..
|
| 00:00:43 | Hey, there, mr. too-big-to-come-to-my-shows.
|
| 00:00:46 | I just came from tap.i'm all whoo! ha ha!
|
| 00:00:49 | I'm on my wayto an audition.
|
| 00:00:50 | I'm still lookingfor that big break.
|
| 00:00:52 | Why don't youjust give up?
|
| 00:00:55 | ..
|
| 00:00:56 | Well, that'swhat jerry says.
|
| 00:01:00 | Well, now,face it.
|
| 00:01:00 | If it hasn'thappened, it's not gonna happen.
|
| 00:01:03 | All right. ok, I'll go grab us a booth.
|
| 00:01:06 | Join us?
|
| 00:01:12 | ..susan's dead.
|
| 00:01:30 | anice
but breyers premiumice cream and toppings
from walmart cost less.
|
| 00:01:36 | Make ice creamtreats at home
just three timesa month instead,
and save over$220 a year.
|
| 00:01:41 | Save money.live better.
|
| 00:01:43 | Walmart.
|
| 00:01:45 | it's your edge over the elements.
|
| 00:01:47 | The sun, water!
|
| 00:01:48 | It's theone proven
to give bettercoverage.
|
| 00:01:52 | It's waterproof
and ultra sweatproof.
|
| 00:01:55 | Anywhere on the planet,there's no better
protection.
|
| 00:01:57 | Coppertone sport.
|
| 00:02:30 | ..
|
| 00:02:34 | With all this dust.
|
| 00:02:35 | Well, it's only dust.
|
| 00:02:36 | In that dust are allergens from pet dander
and dust mites.
|
| 00:02:41 | Eww!
|
| 00:02:42 | ..
|
| 00:02:43 | Traps up to 84% of allergensin dust.
|
| 00:02:47 | ..
|
| 00:02:48 | Nothing to sneeze at?
|
| 00:02:49 | .. no. that's great.
|
| 00:02:51 | Allergen trappers.that's the beauty of pledge®.
|
| 00:02:55 | Also available in wipes.
|
| 00:02:57 | S.c. johnson. a family company.
|
| 00:03:00 | fault.
|
| 00:03:00 | She told me to kill the weeds.
|
| 00:03:01 | And you did. along with the grass.
|
| 00:03:03 | I used the wrong stuff.
|
| 00:03:05 | There were dead spots everywhere.
|
| 00:03:06 | This is the right stuff.
|
| 00:03:08 | Ortho weed b gon max.
|
| 00:03:10 | It kills weedsdown to the root.
|
| 00:03:11 | Even the tough oneslike dandelion and crabgrass.
|
| 00:03:13 | But unlike that other stuff,
it won't kill the grass.
|
| 00:03:17 | Ortho guarantees it.
|
| 00:03:18 | Kill the weeds, not the lawn.
|
| 00:03:20 | Weeds, not lawn.
|
| 00:03:22 | Got it? yea.
|
| 00:03:24 | Ortho weed b gon max.
|
| 00:03:26 | Defend what's yours.
|
| 00:03:45 | Ll, I thinks she was happy someone finally
said it.
|
| 00:03:48 | Why did you have to say anything to her?
|
| 00:03:50 | Well, I thought the conversation was lagging.
|
| 00:03:53 | Why can't you ever just keep your big mouth
shut?
|
| 00:03:56 | Well, I come in here to have a pleasant meal,
and if we're not gonna have one,
I'll grab a bite to eat at your place.
|
| 00:04:02 | G-g-g-g-get out.
|
| 00:04:06 | You know, maybe kramer was right.
|
| 00:04:07 | Some people should just give up. I have.
|
| 00:04:10 | What did you want to be?
|
| 00:04:11 | I don't remember.
|
| 00:04:12 | But it certainly wasn't this.
|
| 00:04:15 | Look at this cartoon inthe new yorker.
|
| 00:04:17 | I don't get this.
|
| 00:04:19 | Me, neither.
|
| 00:04:20 | And you're on the fringe of the humor business.
|
| 00:04:24 | Hey.
|
| 00:04:24 | Hey, george, look at this.
|
| 00:04:27 | That's cute. you get it?
|
| 00:04:29 | No, never mind.
|
| 00:04:31 | Come on.
|
| 00:04:33 | We're 2 intelligent people here.
|
| 00:04:35 | We can figure this out.
|
| 00:04:38 | Now, we got a dog and a cat in an office.
|
| 00:04:41 | It looks like my accountant's office.
|
| 00:04:43 | But there's no pets working there.
|
| 00:04:45 | And the cat is saying, "i've enjoyed reading
"
it's got something to do with that 42 in
the corner.
|
| 00:04:52 | That's the page number.
|
| 00:04:54 | Well, I can't crack this one.
|
| 00:04:57 | Oh, this has gotta be a mistake.
|
| 00:05:01 | Well, janet, uh, should be here any minute.
|
| 00:05:03 | you must
really like her.
|
| 00:05:05 | Oh, jerry, the minute I saw this girl, we
just clicked.
|
| 00:05:09 | She's got such a nice face.
|
| 00:05:11 | ..
|
| 00:05:14 | We know what a face consists of.
|
| 00:05:16 | I'm sorry I'm late.
|
| 00:05:18 | Jerry, elaine,
I give you janet.
|
| 00:05:23 | Nice to meet you.
|
| 00:05:24 | Hi. hi.
|
| 00:05:25 | Do we still have time to make the movie?
|
| 00:05:26 | we just can't go to the supermarket
to get some candy.
|
| 00:05:36 | [Whistles]
jerry, she looks exactly like you.
|
| 00:05:43 | She does not.
|
| 00:05:44 | Yeah, maybe she doesn't. I don't care.
|
| 00:05:48 | Jerry: Hey, kramer.
|
| 00:05:49 | Oh, hey, you got some messages.
|
| 00:05:51 | Yeah, uh, george, george, elaine, george
again, elaine,
newman--but that was a crank call.
|
| 00:05:58 | says "thanks
"
you ruined
her life.
|
| 00:06:04 | What? you're the one who ruined her life.
|
| 00:06:07 | Well, that's not how she remembers it.
|
| 00:06:10 | Well, I got to talk her out of this.
|
| 00:06:12 | I thought you said she stinks.
|
| 00:06:14 | She does stink, and she should quit.
|
| 00:06:17 | But I don't want it to be because of me.
|
| 00:06:20 | It should be the traditional route:
Years of rejection and failure
until she's spit out the bottom of the porn
industry.
|
| 00:06:27 | [Intercom buzzes]
yeah?
|
| 00:06:30 | George: Hey, george and janet.
|
| 00:06:33 | elaine thinks she looks
like me,
but I think it's, as you would say, "kooky
"
you know what woman I always thought you
looked like--
lena horne.
|
| 00:06:47 | Hey.
|
| 00:06:48 | and you must--
look exactly like jerry.
|
| 00:06:53 | You don't see this?
|
| 00:06:54 | Ah, you're like twins.
|
| 00:06:56 | Whoo! this is eerie.
|
| 00:06:58 | Kramer, what are you talking about?
|
| 00:07:02 | Janet doesn't look anything like jerry.
|
| 00:07:04 | Well, maybe we do look a little like each
other.
|
| 00:07:06 | what do you know about what you look
like?
|
| 00:07:09 | Come on, george, relax.
|
| 00:07:11 | Just because they look alike,
that doesn't mean you're secretly in love
with jerry.
|
| 00:07:18 | All right, we're going now. bye-bye.
|
| 00:07:20 | We just got here, george.
|
| 00:07:21 | Well, it's getting dark.
|
| 00:07:27 | She's a nice girl.
|
| 00:07:28 | Kind of quiet, though.
|
| 00:07:30 | What are you doing?
|
| 00:07:34 | And george doesn't want to hear his girlfriend
looks like me.
|
| 00:07:37 | Frankly, neither do i.
|
| 00:07:38 | Well, how should I have broached the subject?
|
| 00:07:41 | You don't broach. you keep your mouth shut.
|
| 00:07:44 | Well, it sounds like someone's having a bad
day.
|
| 00:07:47 | Yeah, because of you.
|
| 00:07:49 | Well, then, I think one of us should leave.
|
| 00:08:03 | Jerry: Sally, you can't quit the business.
|
| 00:08:05 | This is all because of me?
|
| 00:08:07 | Mm-hmm.
|
| 00:08:08 | You can't give up.
|
| 00:08:09 | You don't think people tell me I stink?
|
| 00:08:11 | Yeah. you've been stinking since the eighties.
|
| 00:08:14 | All right, I think we've covered my act.
|
| 00:08:16 | Now, you get out there and stink it up with
everybody else.
|
| 00:08:20 | All right, yes!
|
| 00:08:21 | Thank you, I'm gonna do it.
|
| 00:08:26 | Now!
|
| 00:08:31 | Elaine: Well, I've asked everyone at work,
and no one gets this cartoon.
|
| 00:08:35 | I don't understand why no one can explain
it.
|
| 00:08:37 | But I am going to get to the bottom of this.
|
| 00:08:39 | Oh, I think we're at the bottom.
|
| 00:08:43 | Hey, george.
|
| 00:08:44 | Janet seems really nice.
|
| 00:08:46 | ..
|
| 00:08:48 | A handsome woman.
|
| 00:08:53 | What does that mean?
|
| 00:08:54 | Yeah, what does that mean?
|
| 00:08:55 | What do you mean by that?
|
| 00:08:57 | Enjoy.
|
| 00:09:02 | Elaine, huh?
|
| 00:09:04 | She's completely--
oh, I know.
|
| 00:09:07 | Because you don't think janet--
no!
|
| 00:09:11 | Why would i--
it's ludicrous.
|
| 00:09:14 | Yes.
|
| 00:09:14 | And neither one of us-- no.
|
| 00:09:16 | So-- exactly.
|
| 00:09:19 | I'm not gay.
|
| 00:09:23 | Neither am i.
|
| 00:09:28 | Kramer, get in here!
|
| 00:09:29 | Kramer! kramer!
|
| 00:09:30 | Where's the crazy man? come on out!
|
| 00:09:33 | Come on in here!
|
| 00:09:34 | Hey! get in here!
|
| 00:09:35 | Come here!
|
| 00:09:36 | Right over here!
|
| 00:09:37 | Come here!
|
| 00:09:38 | What are you doing? come and talk to us.
|
| 00:09:40 | I've made an important life decision.
|
| 00:09:43 | Let's talk about that.
|
| 00:09:45 | Don't leave.
|
| 00:09:46 | i, uh,
I know I've been kind of shooting off at
the mouth lately.
|
| 00:09:50 | Uh, first, with that girl whose life you
..
|
| 00:09:55 | And then about george dating a lady jerry.
|
| 00:09:58 | What's the decision?
|
| 00:10:00 | I know you want me to keep my big mouth shut.
|
| 00:10:02 | Well, that's exactly what I'm going to do.
|
| 00:10:04 | I'm never going to talk again.
|
| 00:10:07 | Yeah, right.
|
| 00:10:08 | What do I need to talk for, huh?
|
| 00:10:10 | What, to blab to the neighbors
about how george has a new fem jerry friend?
|
| 00:10:14 | Or to tell everybody at the coffee shop
how george is all mixed up
in a perverse sexual amalgam
of some girl and his best friend?
|
| 00:10:24 | See, now, I've done all that.
|
| 00:10:26 | Now it's time for silence.
|
| 00:10:28 | Silence? yes!
|
| 00:10:29 | Kramer, you're never going to be able to
completely stop talking.
|
| 00:10:33 | Jerry, 94% of communication is nonverbal.
|
| 00:10:38 | Here, watch.
|
| 00:10:49 | What does this mean?
|
| 00:10:50 | Well, it's frank and estelle's reaction
to hearing about george's man love for a
she-jerry.
|
| 00:10:56 | Shut up!
|
| 00:10:57 | Shut up! shut up!
|
| 00:10:59 | That's the idea.
|
| 00:11:01 | Kramer, there's no way you stick to this.
|
| 00:11:04 | Zip!
|
| 00:11:05 | Or you're gonna start now?
|
| 00:11:06 | That's right--ooh!
|
| 00:11:08 | Right now.
|
| 00:11:10 | Ow! that hurts!
|
| 00:11:14 | Now!
|
| 00:11:17 | peterman wants to hire some of
our cartoonists
to, uh, illustrate your catalogue.
|
| 00:11:23 | Well, we're hoping that if perhaps the catalogue
is a little funnier,
people won't be so quick to return the clothes.
|
| 00:11:28 | Ha ha.
|
| 00:11:32 | ..
|
| 00:11:36 | Well, I love this one.
|
| 00:11:37 | yeah, that's a rather clever jab
at interoffice politics,
don't you think?
|
| 00:11:44 | Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah.
|
| 00:11:48 | ..
|
| 00:11:49 | Why is it that the-- that the animals enjoy
reading the e-mail?
|
| 00:11:53 | benes, uh, cartoons are like gossamer,
and one doesn't dissect gossamer. ha ha.
|
| 00:12:00 | ..
|
| 00:12:03 | If you could just tell me
why this is supposed to be funny.
|
| 00:12:07 | Oh, it's merely a commentary on contemporary
mores.
|
| 00:12:12 | ..
|
| 00:12:14 | The comment?
|
| 00:12:17 | It's a slice of life. no, it isn't.
|
| 00:12:19 | A pun? I don't think so.
|
| 00:12:22 | Volstein?
|
| 00:12:23 | That's not a word.
|
| 00:12:26 | You have no idea what this means, do you?
|
| 00:12:27 | No. no.
|
| 00:12:29 | Then why did you print it?
|
| 00:12:30 | I liked the kitty.
|
| 00:12:32 | Ohh!
|
| 00:12:32 | You know what?
|
| 00:12:33 | You people should be ashamed of yourselves.
|
| 00:12:35 | You know, you doodle a couple of bears at
a cocktail party
talking about the stock market,
you think you're doing comedy.
|
| 00:12:42 | Actually, that's not bad.
|
| 00:12:44 | well, you know,
I have others.
|
| 00:12:52 | Jerry: Sally, I can't believe you're already
doing a one-woman show.
|
| 00:12:55 | it's just a little performance piece
I wrote.
|
| 00:12:58 | But you know what? you really inspired me.
|
| 00:13:01 | Ok, a tear?
|
| 00:13:04 | Hey, there you are.
|
| 00:13:07 | Oh, right, cone of silence.
|
| 00:13:10 | [Applause]
thank you.
|
| 00:13:14 | um, I really think you're
gonna like this,
'cause it's about me.
|
| 00:13:18 | Well, all right, it's not just about me.
|
| 00:13:19 | ..
|
| 00:13:25 | Who I like to call the devil.
|
| 00:13:27 | Ok, ok,
so I run into this jerry on the street,
and then he says to me, "hey, sally, you
stink.
|
| 00:13:34 | "
oh, I'm doing jerry now, ok?
|
| 00:13:35 | So you have to imagine I have horns, a tail,
and hooves instead of feet.
|
| 00:13:45 | Oh, shut up!
|
| 00:15:19 | "
I got to go see this thing.
|
| 00:16:43 | Good luck. it's sold out for the next 3 weeks.
|
| 00:16:46 | Well, I bet I can get in once I mention I'm
..
|
| 00:16:50 | The new yorker.
|
| 00:16:52 | The new yorker?
|
| 00:16:54 | Yes,the new yorker.
|
| 00:16:55 | I met with their cartoon editor,
and I got him to admit
that that cartoon made no sense.
|
| 00:17:02 | Wow! good work, nancy drew.
|
| 00:17:04 | And he said I could submit some of my own
cartoons.
|
| 00:17:09 | Wow, that's incredible!
|
| 00:17:11 | But you don't draw.
|
| 00:17:14 | I do, too.
|
| 00:17:15 | What, your sad little horsies,
the house with the little curl of smoke,
the sunflower with the smiley face,
the transparent cube?
|
| 00:17:23 | Well, it's better than your drawings of naked
lois lane.
|
| 00:17:27 | Where did you see that? those are private!
|
| 00:17:34 | Sally: Jerry, sorry I'm late.
|
| 00:17:36 | Channel 9 is doing a piece on my show.
|
| 00:17:37 | Isn't that great? do you hate me?
|
| 00:17:40 | No, no. I thought the show was terrific.
|
| 00:17:42 | I was just wondering if you have to keep
saying,
"jerry seinfeld is the devil"?
|
| 00:17:47 | Well, that is the title.
|
| 00:17:49 | I know, but I thought maybe you could mention
how I apologized
and encouraged you to stick with it.
|
| 00:17:57 | You know, I workshopped that and, uh, snoozers.
|
| 00:18:01 | But I'll tell you what, I'll tinker.
|
| 00:18:05 | It's all a journey.
|
| 00:18:07 | Thanks.
|
| 00:18:08 | You got a little schmutz there.
|
| 00:18:10 | Excuse me, miss weaver?
|
| 00:18:12 | Oh, my god, it is you!
|
| 00:18:14 | I--i've seen your show 6 times.
|
| 00:18:17 | What a surprise.
|
| 00:18:18 | You're great, it's great.
|
| 00:18:20 | It's so great to see a show that's about
something.
|
| 00:18:28 | George: My friends are idiots.
|
| 00:18:30 | She doesn't look like jerry.
|
| 00:18:32 | She doesn't look like anybody.
|
| 00:18:36 | And so what if she does look like jerry?
|
| 00:18:38 | What does that mean?
|
| 00:18:39 | That I could have everything I have with
jerry,
but because it's a woman, I could also have
sex with her?
|
| 00:18:44 | [Chuckles]
and that somehow that would be exactly what
I always wanted?
|
| 00:18:51 | She doesn't even look like jerry.
|
| 00:18:53 | You know, I really do look a lot like your
friend jerry.
|
| 00:18:56 | I know. ha ha.
|
| 00:19:02 | Announcer: we
leave you tonight
with a scene from sally weaver's one-woman
show.
|
| 00:19:07 | Ok, so I go to meet jerry seinfeld at this
horrible coffee shop, right?
|
| 00:19:11 | "
"
"
and he starts pawing at my sweater, right,
and getting all, you know, hands across america.
|
| 00:19:22 | I didn't try and
grab her.
|
| 00:19:25 | And this is what he looks like when he is
eating.
|
| 00:19:30 | Get out of my house!
|
| 00:19:32 | [Turns off tv]
well, boys, I did it.
|
| 00:19:37 | I had to stay up all night,
but I finally came up with a greatnew yorker
cartoon.
|
| 00:19:43 | I've stayed up all night,
I fix myself up a little before I go out.
|
| 00:19:47 | That is not the point.
|
| 00:19:50 | Some mouthwash, a hat, something.
|
| 00:19:54 | Just read it.
|
| 00:19:57 | Pretty good.
|
| 00:19:59 | Pretty good?
|
| 00:20:00 | This is a gem. kramer, look at it.
|
| 00:20:06 | What? it's funny.
|
| 00:20:08 | It's a pig in a complaint department.
|
| 00:20:10 | "
ha ha ha.
|
| 00:20:16 | See, that-- that's his complaint.
|
| 00:20:19 | I get it.
|
| 00:20:20 | Do you? because that's not a normal complaint.
|
| 00:20:24 | How about if it was something like,
"
you know, everything with you has to be so
jokey.
|
| 00:20:37 | I'm a comedian.
|
| 00:20:39 | " that's--that's--
that's nice.
|
| 00:20:43 | That's--that's real.
|
| 00:20:44 | this cartoon
stinks.
|
| 00:20:49 | Well, I'll tell you who doesn't think it
stinks--
the new yorker.
|
| 00:20:54 | That's right, they're publishing it in their
next issue.
|
| 00:20:58 | Oh, you know what?
|
| 00:20:59 | I just ran into newman in the hall.
|
| 00:21:01 | He said you tried to grope sally weaver?
|
| 00:21:04 | Oh, that's it.
|
| 00:21:05 | I'm gonna put an end to this.
|
| 00:21:10 | What?
|
| 00:21:12 | The pig says, "my wife is a slut"?
|
| 00:21:22 | Now, that's a complaint.
|
| 00:21:26 | Hello, sally? yeah, this is jerry.
|
| 00:21:29 | I just wanted to leave you a message
and let you know I caught your little piece
..
|
| 00:21:31 | Jerry's voice:..And I'm getting a little
tired of hearing how horrible I am,
and I would really appreciate it
if you would just leave me out of your act
altogether.
|
| 00:21:39 | [Laughter]
well, that's it. I'm calling in the big guns.
|
| 00:21:44 | "To cease and desist
"on behalf of my client jerry seinfeld.
|
| 00:21:48 | "
ok, well, I've got 2 words for you, jerry
seinfeld--
..
|
| 00:22:00 | How could she say that on tv?
|
| 00:22:03 | And how did she get a cable special?
|
| 00:22:04 | I've never gotten a cable special.
|
| 00:22:08 | I'm not giving her any more
material.
|
| 00:22:11 | We are incommunicado.
|
| 00:22:14 | Exactly.
|
| 00:22:18 | from the new issue ofthe new
yorker.
|
| 00:22:22 | It's funny, isn't it?
|
| 00:22:25 | ..
|
| 00:22:26 | Look at it. the pig wants to be taller.
|
| 00:22:28 | And what's this guy gonna say, huh?
|
| 00:22:30 | Ha ha. nothing. ha ha.
|
| 00:22:33 | Elaine, I'm afraid I have incurred yet another
flat tire.
|
| 00:22:38 | Can I fix that after lunch, sir?
|
| 00:22:40 | Oh, no, right away. chop, chop!
|
| 00:22:42 | Oh, a new cartoon.
|
| 00:22:44 | "
I'd like to see that complaint get rectified.
|
| 00:22:54 | Ha ha ha ha ha.
|
| 00:22:55 | see, smart people think this is
funny.
|
| 00:22:57 | 'cause I wrote
it.
|
| 00:23:01 | You shouldn't make fun of pigs.
|
| 00:23:06 | Flash of lightning, elaine.
|
| 00:23:07 | I just realized why I like this cartoon
so much.
|
| 00:23:10 | Oh, do tell, sir.
|
| 00:23:12 | It's a ziggy.
|
| 00:23:13 | A ziggy?
|
| 00:23:14 | That irreverence, that wit.
|
| 00:23:15 | I'd recognize it anywhere.
|
| 00:23:17 | Some charlatan has stolen a ziggy
and passed it off as his own.
|
| 00:23:21 | And I can prove it.
|
| 00:23:23 | Quick, elaine, to my archives.
|
| 00:23:30 | Do you know--you know what's great about
our relationship?
|
| 00:23:34 | It's not about looks.
|
| 00:23:36 | It's not? no, it can't be.
|
| 00:23:39 | Ok.
|
| 00:23:40 | For instance, I remember when we first met,
we had a great conversation.
|
| 00:23:46 | you said I was the prettiest
girl at the party.
|
| 00:23:50 | Yeah, but then, after that,
we really talked, didn't we?
|
| 00:23:54 | Oh, you told me how familiar I looked
and that you must have seen me somewhere
before, and--
oh, oh, look,
this relationship has got to be about something,
and fast, or I am in very serious and weird
trouble.
|
| 00:24:10 | Now, what else happened?
|
| 00:24:12 | You asked for a piece of gum
because you thought your breath smelled like
hummus.
|
| 00:24:17 | All right! yes!
|
| 00:24:19 | Gum, good enough. I'll take it.
|
| 00:24:22 | I like gum. I do, too.
|
| 00:24:23 | You see, that's what we're about.
|
| 00:24:25 | You don't remind me of anyone, and we love
gum.
|
| 00:24:30 | I have gum in my hair.
|
| 00:24:32 | I'm losing it.
|
| 00:24:38 | Hey, you're jerry's friend. you're kooky.
|
| 00:24:41 | Mind if I sit?
|
| 00:24:42 | have you see
it yet?
|
| 00:24:44 | You should. everybody else in town has.
|
| 00:24:46 | I got recognized the other
day.
|
| 00:24:48 | How weird is that? I know.
|
| 00:24:50 | I mean, at first I liked the attention,
then after a while, it's like, whoa, take
3 steps back.
|
| 00:24:53 | Get a life, ok?
|
| 00:24:54 | But then there wouldn't be a sally weaver
without the fans. you know what I mean?
|
| 00:24:57 | But who am I anyway?
|
| 00:24:58 | I mean, there's sally weaver the woman,
sally weaver the artist,
sally weaver the person--
you know, you gotta shut up!
|
| 00:25:06 | I'm sorry. i--i haven't spoken in days.
|
| 00:25:10 | Well, lay it on me, string bean.
|
| 00:25:14 | Jerry: You ripped off a ziggy?
|
| 00:25:16 | It must have seeped into my subconscious.
|
| 00:25:19 | Puddy has ziggy bed sheets.
|
| 00:25:22 | Did you read the comics today?
|
| 00:25:26 | Oh, I see ziggy's back at the complaint department.
|
| 00:25:29 | The new yorker's stealing my ideas.
|
| 00:25:32 | Ha ha ha ha.
|
| 00:25:34 | ..
|
| 00:25:36 | 'Cause it's real.
|
| 00:25:38 | Elaine: Hey, look,
sally's cable show is on.
|
| 00:25:41 | you got to watch
this.
|
| 00:25:43 | This will be funny. now she's got nothing.
|
| 00:25:45 | Master of evil jerry seinfeld
broke off all contact with me.
|
| 00:25:49 | why don't you just
give up?
|
| 00:25:52 | Why are you yelling at the tv?
|
| 00:25:54 | I heard he makes his best friend
date women
who look just like him.
|
| 00:26:00 | Hello! issues!
|
| 00:26:01 | Elaine, have you been talking to her?
|
| 00:26:04 | Hey, I'm just a fan.
|
| 00:26:06 | Oh, and speaking of issues,
guess who got a no-polish manicure
and begged his neighbor not to tell anyone?
|
| 00:26:15 | I thought you stopped talking.
|
| 00:26:17 | All right, starting now.
|
| 00:26:19 | Captioning made possible bycolumbia tristar
domestic television
captioned by the nationalcaptioning institute
--www.ncicap.org--
(Mom)
think
the popsicles got in the freezer.
|
| 00:26:31 | Or where sidewalk chalk comes from.
|
| 00:26:33 | They don't wonder how the hot dogs got on
the grill.
|
| 00:26:36 | To them, the magic of summer just happens.
|
| 00:26:40 | But I know what it takes.
|
| 00:26:41 | Luckily, so does walmart.
|
| 00:26:43 | They check other stores' prices,
to make sure I save on everything
we need this summer.
|
| 00:26:48 | But the kids don't need to know that.
|
| 00:26:49 | They have more important things to do.
|
| 00:26:52 | Summer costs less at walmart.
|
| 00:26:54 | Save money.live better.
|
| 00:26:55 | Walmart.
|
| 00:26:58 | limp
wash it away.
|
| 00:27:00 | (announcer) NEUTROGENA'S NEW TRIPLE RENEWAL
Washes away buildup,
and washes in amino acids to plump hair
from the inside out.
|
| 00:27:08 | For volume, strength, and shine.
|
| 00:27:10 | Neutrogena.
|
| 00:27:28 | S per hour,
really
the same goes for my allergy medicine.
|
| 00:27:32 | I only use non-drowsy claritin.
|
| 00:27:34 | Claritin relieves my worst symptoms
and is proven to keep me as alert and focused
as someone without allergies.
|
| 00:27:39 | I'm carl edwards
and I only live claritin clear.
|
| 00:28:13 | But it wasn't what I wanted to do,
and I thought,
I don't want to do this for the rest of my
life
I probably don't want to do it tomorrow.
|
| 00:28:19 | I told my dad,
"
"
I started sam adams with boston lager
to make rich, flavorful beer.
|
| 00:28:27 | And he went and sold it
one bottle at a time.
|
| 00:28:30 | No one had tried an american beer
that had that kind of flavor.
|
| 00:28:33 | Boston lager really was a groundswell.
|
| 00:28:35 | There's that saying,
"do something you love
"and you'll never work
"
I don't feel like I've worked for 24 years.
|
| 00:28:54 | <<<<<<
-(
)
change
oil.
|
| 00:29:00 | Think I did something wrong!
|
| 00:29:00 | But you know how pricey these german cars
are to maintain.right?
|
| 00:29:03 | Max:ACTUALLY, VOLKSWAGEN HAS NO-CHARGE SCHEDULED
Carefree maintenance.even the cc.
|
| 00:29:08 | ( chuckles ) ...NO CHARGE. EVEN ON THE CC.
|
| 00:29:12 | Bus: You know what they say
about the best things in life, amigo.
|
| 00:29:16 | .. for volkswagen owners.
|
| 00:29:20 | ( cheerful tune playing )
Is gumut of my hair
and then I'llbe ready for bed.
|
| 00:29:31 | Ok, look. the gumisn't cutting it for me.
|
| 00:29:34 | We need to be aboutsomething else.
|
| 00:29:37 | Anything. please.
|
| 00:29:39 | [Door opens]
..
|
| 00:29:44 | Your hair.
|
| 00:29:45 | Well, I hadto cut the gum out,
and I hada little trouble getting it even.
|
| 00:29:49 | So why don't you getundressed, george?
|
| 00:29:54 | George is in big trouble!
|
| 00:30:12 | [Champagne cork pops]
to your promotion.
|
| 00:30:16 | Oh, thank you.
|
| 00:30:17 | Well, you're really on your way now.
|
| 00:30:29 | ghing]
st finicky eater
gonna love her friskies any less
if I spent less on them?
|
| 00:30:42 | .. no.
|
| 00:30:43 | (announcer)THE EXACT SAME BRANDS
Sold in petspecialty stores.
|
| 00:30:45 | At walmart'sunbeatable price.
|
| 00:30:47 | Save money.live better.
|
| 00:30:49 | Walmart.
|
| 00:30:52 | )♪♪
|
| 00:30:52 | ♪♪
|
| 00:30:53 | ♪♪ because shemissed the scenery ♪♪
|
| 00:30:55 | ♪♪ the native dances
|
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