The Simpsons - The Haw-Hawked Couple - Monday, Feb 08, 2010 - mReplay LiveDash TV Transcript: Search Live TV, Twitter, Facebook, News, Blogs, Video sites and other real-time social networks

Login
Register
- mReplay Terms of Service Game on, people. And welcome to mReplay. We have locked our lawyers into a closet until they created a Terms of Service that you will understand� not uber-attorney talk. Please contact us if you have any questions or concerns regarding your relationship with mReplay. 1. Your relationship with mReplay 1.1 Your use of mReplay's products, software, services and web sites (referred to collectively as the "Services" in this document and excluding any services provided to you by mReplay under a separate written agreement) is subject to the terms of a legal agreement between you and mReplay. "mReplay" means mReplay Inc., whose principal place of business is at 24 Barbara Road, Orinda, CA 94563, United States. This document explains how the agreement is made up, and sets out some of the terms of that agreement. 1.2 Unless otherwise agreed in writing with mReplay, your agreement with mReplay will always include, at a minimum, the terms and conditions set out in this document. These are referred to below as the "Universal Terms". 1.3 Your agreement with mReplay will also include the terms of any Legal Notices applicable to the Services, in addition to the Universal Terms. All of these are referred to below as the "Additional Terms". Where Additional Terms apply to a Service, these will be accessible for you to read either within, or through your use of, that Service. 1.4 The Universal Terms, together with the Additional Terms, form a legally binding agreement between you and mReplay in relation to your use of the Services. It is important that you take the time to read them carefully. Collectively, this legal agreement is referred to below as the "Terms". 1.5 If there is any contradiction between what the Additional Terms say and what the Universal Terms say, then the Additional Terms shall take precedence in relation to that Service. 2. Accepting the Terms 2.1 In order to use the Services, you must first agree to the Terms. You may not use the Services if you do not accept the Terms. 2.2 You can accept the Terms by: (A) clicking to accept or agree to the Terms, where this option is made available to you by mReplay in the user interface for any Service; or (B) by actually using the Services. In this case, you understand and agree that mReplay will treat your use of the Services as acceptance of the Terms from that point onwards. 2.3 You may not use the Services and may not accept the Terms if (a) you are not of legal age to form a binding contract with mReplay, or (b) you are a person barred from receiving the Services under the laws of the United States or other countries including the country in which you are resident or from which you use the Services. 2.4 Before you continue, you should print off or save a local copy of the Universal Terms for your records. 3. Language of the Terms 3.1 Where mReplay has provided you with a translation of the English language version of the Terms, then you agree that the translation is provided for your convenience only and that the English language versions of the Terms will govern your relationship with mReplay. 3.2 If there is any contradiction between what the English language version of the Terms says and what a translation says, then the English language version shall take precedence. 4. Provision of the Services by mReplay 4.1 mReplay has subsidiaries and affiliated legal entities around the world ("Subsidiaries and Affiliates"). Sometimes, these companies will be providing the Services to you on behalf of mReplay itself. You acknowledge and agree that Subsidiaries and Affiliates will be entitled to provide the Services to you. 4.2 mReplay is constantly innovating in order to provide the best possible experience for its users. You acknowledge and agree that the form and nature of the Services which mReplay provides may change from time to time without prior notice to you. 4.3 As part of this continuing innovation, you acknowledge and agree that mReplay may stop (permanently or temporarily) providing the Services (or any features within the Services) to you or to users generally at mReplay's sole discretion, without prior notice to you. You may stop using the Services at any time. You do not need to specifically inform mReplay when you stop using the Services. 4.4 You acknowledge and agree that if mReplay disables access to your account, you may be prevented from accessing the Services, your account details or any files or other content which is contained in your account. 4.5 You acknowledge and agree that while mReplay may not currently have set a fixed upper limit on the number of transmissions you may send or receive through the Services or on the amount of storage space used for the provision of any Service, such fixed upper limits may be set by mReplay at any time, at mReplay's discretion. 5. Use of the Services by you 5.1 In order to access certain Services, you may be required to provide information about yourself (such as identification or contact details) as part of the registration process for the Service, or as part of your continued use of the Services. You agree that any registration information you give to mReplay will always be accurate, correct and up to date. 5.2 You agree to use the Services only for purposes that are permitted by (a) the Terms and (b) any applicable law, regulation or generally accepted practices or guidelines in the relevant jurisdictions (including any laws regarding the export of data or software to and from the United States or other relevant countries). 5.3 You agree not to access (or attempt to access) any of the Services by any means other than through the interface that is provided by mReplay, unless you have been specifically allowed to do so in a separate agreement with mReplay. You specifically agree not to access (or attempt to access) any of the Services through any automated means (including use of scripts or web crawlers) and shall ensure that you comply with the instructions set out in any robots.txt file present on the Services. 5.4 You agree that you will not engage in any activity that interferes with or disrupts the Services (or the servers and networks which are connected to the Services). 5.5 Unless you have been specifically permitted to do so in a separate agreement with mReplay, you agree that you will not reproduce, duplicate, copy, sell, trade or resell the Services for any purpose. 5.6 You agree that you are solely responsible for (and that mReplay has no responsibility to you or to any third party for) any breach of your obligations under the Terms and for the consequences (including any loss or damage which mReplay may suffer) of any such breach. 6. Your passwords and account security 6.1 You agree and understand that you are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of passwords associated with any account you use to access the Services. 6.2 Accordingly, you agree that you will be solely responsible to mReplay for all activities that occur under your account. 6.3 If you become aware of any unauthorized use of your password or of your account, you agree to notify mReplay immediately at accounts@mreplay.com. 7. Privacy and your personal information 7.1 For information about mReplay's data protection practices, please read mReplay's privacy policy at http://www.mreplay.com/privacy.php. This policy explains how mReplay treats your personal information, and protects your privacy, when you use the Services. 7.2 You agree to the use of your data in accordance with mReplay's privacy policies. 8. Content in the Services 8.1 You understand that all information (such as data files, written text, computer software, music, audio files or other sounds, photographs, videos or other images) which you may have access to as part of, or through your use of, the Services are the sole responsibility of the person from which such content originated. All such information is referred to below as the "Content". 8.2 You should be aware that Content presented to you as part of the Services, including but not limited to advertisements in the Services and sponsored Content within the Services may be protected by intellectual property rights which are owned by the sponsors or advertisers who provide that Content to mReplay (or by other persons or companies on their behalf). You may not modify, rent, lease, loan, sell, distribute or create derivative works based on this Content (either in whole or in part) unless you have been specifically told that you may do so by mReplay or by the owners of that Content, in a separate agreement. 8.3 You agree to not upload any video that may infringe someone else's copyright. By clicking "Share Clip," you are representing that this video does not violate U.S. Copyright Law and that you have authorization to upload it due to fair use claims, is void of copyright protection, or you have direct authorization from the content owner. 8.4 You understand that by using the Services you may be exposed to Content that you may find offensive, indecent or objectionable and that, in this respect, you use the Services at your own risk. 8.5 You agree that you are solely responsible for (and that mReplay has no responsibility to you or to any third party for) any Content that you create, transmit or display while using the Services and for the consequences of your actions (including any loss or damage which mReplay may suffer) by doing so. 9. Proprietary rights 9.1 You acknowledge and agree that mReplay (or mReplay's licensors) own all legal right, title and interest in and to the Services, including any intellectual property rights which subsist in the Services (whether those rights happen to be registered or not, and wherever in the world those rights may exist). You further acknowledge that the Services may contain information which is designated confidential by mReplay and that you shall not disclose such information without mReplay's prior written consent. 9.2 Unless you have agreed otherwise in writing with mReplay, nothing in the Terms gives you a right to use any of mReplay's trade names, trade marks, service marks, logos, domain names, and other distinctive brand features. 9.3 If you have been given an explicit right to use any of these brand features in a separate written agreement with mReplay, then you agree that your use of such features shall be in compliance with that agreement, any applicable provisions of the Terms, and mReplay's brand feature use guidelines as updated from time to time. These guidelines can be viewed online at http://www.mreplay.com/guidelines.php (or such other URL as mReplay may provide for this purpose from time to time). 9.4 Other than the limited license set forth in Section 11, mReplay acknowledges and agrees that it obtains no right, title or interest from you (or your licensors) under these Terms in or to any Content that you submit, post, transmit or display on, or through, the Services, including any intellectual property rights which subsist in that Content (whether those rights happen to be registered or not, and wherever in the world those rights may exist). Unless you have agreed otherwise in writing with mReplay, you agree that you are responsible for protecting and enforcing those rights and that mReplay has no obligation to do so on your behalf. 9.5 You agree that you shall not remove, obscure, or alter any proprietary rights notices (including copyright and trade mark notices) which may be affixed to or contained within the Services. 9.6 Unless you have been expressly authorized to do so in writing by mReplay, you agree that in using the Services, you will not use any trade mark, service mark, trade name, logo of any company or organization in a way that is likely or intended to cause confusion about the owner or authorized user of such marks, names or logos. 10. License from mReplay 10.1 mReplay gives you a personal, worldwide, royalty-free, non-assignable and non-exclusive license to use the software provided to you by mReplay as part of the Services as provided to you by mReplay (referred to as the "Software" below). This license is for the sole purpose of enabling you to use and enjoy the benefit of the Services as provided by mReplay, in the manner permitted by the Terms. 10.2 You may not (and you may not permit anyone else to) copy, modify, create a derivative work of, reverse engineer, decompile or otherwise attempt to extract the source code of the Software or any part thereof, unless this is expressly permitted or required by law, or unless you have been specifically told that you may do so by mReplay, in writing. 10.3 Unless mReplay has given you specific written permission to do so, you may not assign (or grant a sub-license of) your rights to use the Software, grant a security interest in or over your rights to use the Software, or otherwise transfer any part of your rights to use the Software. 11. Content license from you 11.1 You retain copyright and any other rights you already hold in Content which you submit, post or display on or through, the Services. By submitting, posting or displaying the content you give mReplay a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free, and non-exclusive license to reproduce, adapt, modify, translate, publish, publicly perform, publicly display and distribute any Content which you submit, post or display on or through, the Services. This license is for the sole purpose of enabling mReplay to display, distribute and promote the Services and may be revoked for certain Services as defined in the Additional Terms of those Services. 11.2 You agree that this license includes a right for mReplay to make such Content available to other companies, organizations or individuals with whom mReplay has relationships for the provision of syndicated services, and to use such Content in connection with the provision of those services. 11.3 You understand that mReplay, in performing the required technical steps to provide the Services to our users, may (a) transmit or distribute your Content over various public networks and in various media; and (b) make such changes to your Content as are necessary to conform and adapt that Content to the technical requirements of connecting networks, devices, services or media. You agree that this license shall permit mReplay to take these actions. 11.4 You confirm and warrant to mReplay that you have all the rights, power and authority necessary to grant the above license. 12. Software updates 12.1 The Software which you use may automatically download and install updates from time to time from mReplay. These updates are designed to improve, enhance and further develop the Services and may take the form of bug fixes, enhanced functions, new software modules and completely new versions. You agree to receive such updates (and permit mReplay to deliver these to you) as part of your use of the Services. 13. Ending your relationship with mReplay 13.1 The Terms will continue to apply until terminated by either you or mReplay as set out below. 13.2 If you want to terminate your legal agreement with mReplay, you may do so by (a) notifying mReplay at any time and (b) closing your accounts for all of the Services which you use, where mReplay has made this option available to you. Your notice should be sent, in writing, to mReplay's address which is set out at the beginning of these Terms. 13.3 mReplay may at any time, terminate its legal agreement with you if: (A) you have breached any provision of the Terms (or have acted in manner which clearly shows that you do not intend to, or are unable to comply with the provisions of the Terms); or (B) mReplay is required to do so by law (for example, where the provision of the Services to you is, or becomes, unlawful); or (C) the partner with whom mReplay offered the Services to you has terminated its relationship with mReplay or ceased to offer the Services to you; or (D) mReplay is transitioning to no longer providing the Services to users in the country in which you are resident or from which you use the service; or (E) the provision of the Services to you by mReplay is, in mReplay's opinion, no longer commercially viable. 13.4 Nothing in this Section shall affect mReplay's rights regarding provision of Services under Section 4 of the Terms. 13.5 When these Terms come to an end, all of the legal rights, obligations and liabilities that you and mReplay have benefited from, been subject to (or which have accrued over time whilst the Terms have been in force) or which are expressed to continue indefinitely, shall be unaffected by this cessation, and the provisions of paragraph 20.7 shall continue to apply to such rights, obligations and liabilities indefinitely. 14. EXCLUSION OF WARRANTIES 14.1 NOTHING IN THESE TERMS, INCLUDING SECTIONS 14 AND 15, SHALL EXCLUDE OR LIMIT MREPLAY'S WARRANTY OR LIABILITY FOR LOSSES WHICH MAY NOT BE LAWFULLY EXCLUDED OR LIMITED BY APPLICABLE LAW. SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OF CERTAIN WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OR THE LIMITATION OR EXCLUSION OF LIABILITY FOR LOSS OR DAMAGE CAUSED BY NEGLIGENCE, BREACH OF CONTRACT OR BREACH OF IMPLIED TERMS, OR INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES. ACCORDINGLY, ONLY THE LIMITATIONS WHICH ARE LAWFUL IN YOUR JURISDICTION WILL APPLY TO YOU AND OUR LIABILITY WILL BE LIMITED TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW. 14.2 YOU EXPRESSLY UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT YOUR USE OF THE SERVICES IS AT YOUR SOLE RISK AND THAT THE SERVICES ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE." 14.3 IN PARTICULAR, MREPLAY, ITS SUBSIDIARIES AND AFFILIATES, AND ITS LICENSORS DO NOT REPRESENT OR WARRANT TO YOU THAT: (A) YOUR USE OF THE SERVICES WILL MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS, (B) YOUR USE OF THE SERVICES WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, TIMELY, SECURE OR FREE FROM ERROR, (C) ANY INFORMATION OBTAINED BY YOU AS A RESULT OF YOUR USE OF THE SERVICES WILL BE ACCURATE OR RELIABLE, AND (D) THAT DEFECTS IN THE OPERATION OR FUNCTIONALITY OF ANY SOFTWARE PROVIDED TO YOU AS PART OF THE SERVICES WILL BE CORRECTED. 14.4 ANY MATERIAL DOWNLOADED OR OTHERWISE OBTAINED THROUGH THE USE OF THE SERVICES IS DONE AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION AND RISK AND THAT YOU WILL BE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE TO YOUR COMPUTER SYSTEM OR OTHER DEVICE OR LOSS OF DATA THAT RESULTS FROM THE DOWNLOAD OF ANY SUCH MATERIAL. 14.5 NO ADVICE OR INFORMATION, WHETHER ORAL OR WRITTEN, OBTAINED BY YOU FROM MREPLAY OR THROUGH OR FROM THE SERVICES SHALL CREATE ANY WARRANTY NOT EXPRESSLY STATED IN THE TERMS. 14.6 MREPLAY FURTHER EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES AND CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, WHETHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES AND CONDITIONS OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. 15. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY 15.1 SUBJECT TO OVERALL PROVISION IN PARAGRAPH 14.1 ABOVE, YOU EXPRESSLY UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT MREPLAY, ITS SUBSIDIARIES AND AFFILIATES, AND ITS LICENSORS SHALL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR: (A) ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL CONSEQUENTIAL OR EXEMPLARY DAMAGES WHICH MAY BE INCURRED BY YOU, HOWEVER CAUSED AND UNDER ANY THEORY OF LIABILITY.. THIS SHALL INCLUDE, BUT NOT BE LIMITED TO, ANY LOSS OF PROFIT (WHETHER INCURRED DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY), ANY LOSS OF GOODWILL OR BUSINESS REPUTATION, ANY LOSS OF DATA SUFFERED, COST OF PROCUREMENT OF SUBSTITUTE GOODS OR SERVICES, OR OTHER INTANGIBLE LOSS; (B) ANY LOSS OR DAMAGE WHICH MAY BE INCURRED BY YOU, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO LOSS OR DAMAGE AS A RESULT OF: (I) ANY RELIANCE PLACED BY YOU ON THE COMPLETENESS, ACCURACY OR EXISTENCE OF ANY ADVERTISING, OR AS A RESULT OF ANY RELATIONSHIP OR TRANSACTION BETWEEN YOU AND ANY ADVERTISER OR SPONSOR WHOSE ADVERTISING APPEARS ON THE SERVICES; (II) ANY CHANGES WHICH MREPLAY MAY MAKE TO THE SERVICES, OR FOR ANY PERMANENT OR TEMPORARY CESSATION IN THE PROVISION OF THE SERVICES (OR ANY FEATURES WITHIN THE SERVICES); (III) THE DELETION OF, CORRUPTION OF, OR FAILURE TO STORE, ANY CONTENT AND OTHER COMMUNICATIONS DATA MAINTAINED OR TRANSMITTED BY OR THROUGH YOUR USE OF THE SERVICES; (III) YOUR FAILURE TO PROVIDE MREPLAY WITH ACCURATE ACCOUNT INFORMATION; (IV) YOUR FAILURE TO KEEP YOUR PASSWORD OR ACCOUNT DETAILS SECURE AND CONFIDENTIAL; 15.2 THE LIMITATIONS ON MREPLAY'S LIABILITY TO YOU IN PARAGRAPH 15.1 ABOVE SHALL APPLY WHETHER OR NOT MREPLAY HAS BEEN ADVISED OF OR SHOULD HAVE BEEN AWARE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF ANY SUCH LOSSES ARISING. 16. Copyright and trade mark policies 16.1 It is mReplay's policy to respond to notices of alleged copyright infringement that comply with applicable international intellectual property law (including, in the United States, the Digital Millennium Copyright Act) and to terminating the accounts of repeat infringers. Details of mReplay's policy can be found at http://www.mreplay.com/dmca.php. 16.2 mReplay operates a trade mark complaints procedure in respect of mReplay's advertising business, details of which can be found at http://www.mreplay.com/tm_complaint.html. 17. Advertisements 17.1 Some of the Services are supported by advertising revenue and may display advertisements and promotions. These advertisements may be targeted to the content of information stored on the Services, queries made through the Services or other information. 17.2 The manner, mode and extent of advertising by mReplay on the Services are subject to change without specific notice to you. 17.3 In consideration for mReplay granting you access to and use of the Services, you agree that mReplay may place such advertising on the Services. 18. Other content 18.1 The Services may include hyperlinks to other web sites or content or resources. mReplay may have no control over any web sites or resources which are provided by companies or persons other than mReplay. 18.2 You acknowledge and agree that mReplay is not responsible for the availability of any such external sites or resources, and does not endorse any advertising, products or other materials on or available from such web sites or resources. 18.3 You acknowledge and agree that mReplay is not liable for any loss or damage which may be incurred by you as a result of the availability of those external sites or resources, or as a result of any reliance placed by you on the completeness, accuracy or existence of any advertising, products or other materials on, or available from, such web sites or resources. 19. Changes to the Terms 19.1 mReplay may make changes to the Universal Terms or Additional Terms from time to time. When these changes are made, mReplay will make a new copy of the Universal Terms available at http://www.mreplay.com/universalterms.html and any new Additional Terms will be made available to you from within, or through, the affected Services. 19.2 You understand and agree that if you use the Services after the date on which the Universal Terms or Additional Terms have changed, mReplay will treat your use as acceptance of the updated Universal Terms or Additional Terms. 20. General legal terms 20.1 Sometimes when you use the Services, you may (as a result of, or through your use of the Services) use a service or download a piece of software, or purchase goods, which are provided by another person or company. Your use of these other services, software or goods may be subject to separate terms between you and the company or person concerned. If so, the Terms do not affect your legal relationship with these other companies or individuals. 20.2 The Terms constitute the whole legal agreement between you and mReplay and govern your use of the Services (but excluding any services which mReplay may provide to you under a separate written agreement), and completely replace any prior agreements between you and mReplay in relation to the Services. 20.3 You agree that mReplay may provide you with notices, including those regarding changes to the Terms, by email, regular mail, or postings on the Services. 20.4 You agree that if mReplay does not exercise or enforce any legal right or remedy which is contained in the Terms (or which mReplay has the benefit of under any applicable law), this will not be taken to be a formal waiver of mReplay's rights and that those rights or remedies will still be available to mReplay. 20.5 If any court of law, having the jurisdiction to decide on this matter, rules that any provision of these Terms is invalid, then that provision will be removed from the Terms without affecting the rest of the Terms. The remaining provisions of the Terms will continue to be valid and enforceable. 20.6 You acknowledge and agree that each member of the group of companies of which mReplay is the parent shall be third party beneficiaries to the Terms and that such other companies shall be entitled to directly enforce, and rely upon, any provision of the Terms which confers a benefit on (or rights in favor of) them. Other than this, no other person or company shall be third party beneficiaries to the Terms. 20.7 The Terms, and your relationship with mReplay under the Terms, shall be governed by the laws of the State of California without regard to its conflict of laws provisions. You and mReplay agree to submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts located within the county of Contra Costa, California to resolve any legal matter arising from the Terms. Notwithstanding this, you agree that mReplay shall still be allowed to apply for injunctive remedies (or an equivalent type of urgent legal relief) in any jurisdiction. 20.8 And lastly, you agree to never let anyone question your fanhood.

The Simpsons - The Haw-Hawked Couple

KBCW

Aired on Monday, Feb 08, 2010 (2/8/2010) at 07:00 PM

	View other episodes
	View more from this channel
	View all transcripts from (2/8/2010)

Transcript

00:01:05	Mom, Bart's drinking coffee!
00:01:07	It's not coffee, it's hot Pepsi.
00:01:09	Marge: You're the worst husband in the world!
00:01:12	Homer: Yeah, well, I wish I'd married Patty and Selma.
00:01:15	I wish I'd married Lenny and his friend.
00:01:17	Man, Mom and Dad are really going at it.
00:01:21	I hope everything's okay.
00:01:22	Marge: Don't you spit sunflower seeds at me.
00:01:25	Homer: You used to love it!
00:01:27	Mm...
00:01:29	(chuckles) Recording that fake fight was a great idea.
00:01:32	Now the kids won't bother us during our morning snuggle.
00:01:36	Dear Lord, thank you for the physical intimacy we are about to enjoy.
00:01:42	And as always, have fun watching.
00:01:45	Both: Go... lovemaking!
00:01:47	Both: Mm...
00:01:48	Homer: And I hate the cutesy way you make jack-o'-lanterns!
00:01:51	I like scary Halloween, not funny Halloween!
00:01:55	(tape player clicks) ♪ I been through the desert on a horse with no name ♪
00:02:01	♪ It felt good to be out of the rain ♪
00:02:04	County fair music?
00:02:08	(Homer giggling) Marge: Whoo, whoo.
00:02:13	Milhouse, steady my Duds.
00:02:16	Trust me, Bart.
00:02:17	It's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of 'em.
00:02:21	Nelson: Hey, dinks, give me your lunch money!
00:02:25	But what will I eat at midday?
00:02:28	I can't solve all your problems.
00:02:29	Just hand over the money.
00:02:32	Thanks, wads, and I hope to see you both Saturday.
00:02:35	Bart: Huh?
00:02:36	Come to my party or die.
00:02:38	(grunts) Come to my party or die.
00:02:40	(grunts) I hate Nelson's parties.
00:02:42	He makes you look at his baseball cards and tell him they're good.
00:02:46	They'renotgood.
00:02:47	I don't like him.
00:02:48	I'll bet Nelson won't even have gift bags.
00:02:51	Unthinkable!
00:02:52	Is that legal?
00:02:53	Wait. What ifnobodygoes?
00:02:56	He can't kill all of us.
00:02:57	He's right. Individually, we are weak like a single twig.
00:03:02	But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot.
00:03:07	(all exclaiming) Well said.
00:03:10	If we all stand together, Nelson's helpless.
00:03:12	Hell, no, we won't show.
00:03:14	(all chanting) Hell, no, we won't show!
00:03:14	Hell, no, we won't show!
00:03:19	Hell, no, I won't mow!
00:03:20	Willy, you're fired with complete loss of pension.
00:03:23	Damn it!
00:03:25	You actually convinced people not to go to Nelson's party?
00:03:28	Yep, he'll be all alone on his birthday.
00:03:30	Oh, I wish I could see it.
00:03:32	Boo-hoo, I'm Nelson.
00:03:34	No one likes me.
00:03:35	Bartholomew J. Simpson, how can you be so mean?!
00:03:38	What are you going to do about it?
00:03:42	Hey!
00:03:42	I'll whack you with the whole salad set if you don't start thinking about others.
00:03:46	You are going to that party.
00:03:48	Mom, I can't go!
00:03:50	No one else is.
00:03:51	Well, if no one else jumped off the Empire State Building, would you not jump?
00:03:59	Kind of...
00:03:59	Aw, come on, Bart.
00:04:00	The party will be fun.
00:04:03	Nelson's not bad.
00:04:05	All he needs is a little kindness.
00:04:08	(laughs) Lisa, you're never gonna get a husband by being sarcastic.
00:04:13	All right, no husband.
00:04:15	You're getting a husband!
00:04:16	And you are going to that party. Hmm? Hmm?!
00:04:21	Dad, don't make me go.
00:04:23	I'll give you a back rub.
00:04:24	(grunting) (moaning) Oh, your elbow's like an angel's kiss, but you still have to go.
00:04:32	Why?
00:04:32	Son, we all have to do things we don't want to: like have jobs and families and responsibilities and having to be Mr. Funny all the time.
00:04:41	You think I wouldn't rather be living nude in the forest like some ancient pagan, just dancing around playing the pan flute?!
00:04:49	And here we are.
00:04:50	(tires screech) Okay, just walk in, say "happy birthday" and get out.
00:04:57	Whoa!
00:05:01	This party doesn't suck.
00:05:03	Pizza, that's a nice touch.
00:05:07	Uh-oh, do I hear a dial tone?
00:05:10	'Cause this party is off the hook!
00:05:13	(laughs) What up, B?
00:05:15	(grunts) Um, happy birthday, Nelson.
00:05:18	Uh, I know it seems a little quiet.
00:05:22	Must be a lot of traffic today.
00:05:24	Is Highway 88 backed up?
00:05:25	Oh, yeah, it's a parking lot out there.
00:05:27	Of course, that explains everything.
00:05:30	Stupid Highway 88!
00:05:31	(chuckles weakly) (grunts) (air hissing) Huh?
00:05:37	Whoa!
00:05:38	Hi, kids, my spidey sense is tingling.
00:05:40	Tingling because it's a certain someone's birthday.
00:05:44	Yeah!
00:05:48	Uh, where are all the kids?
00:05:51	They're coming!
00:05:51	They are!
00:05:52	I love you, Spidey!
00:05:54	Uh, listen, I only got ten minutes of material.
00:05:56	Maybe I should come back a little later.
00:05:59	Don't go.
00:06:00	My party peeps are en route, I swear!
00:06:05	Nelson, nobody's coming.
00:06:07	But how could nobody come?
00:06:10	I ordered them to.
00:06:11	Well, that's the thing.
00:06:13	Sometimes you can be kind of a jerk.
00:06:16	True...
00:06:17	but I thought I hadsomefriends.
00:06:21	Maybe you can have fun with just me.
00:06:24	Okay. Why not?
00:06:27	Stop having fun, kids.
00:06:28	I'm Dr. Octopus from Marvel Comics'Spiderman.
00:06:32	I'm inventing a ray that turns birthday presents into homework.
00:06:36	Yah!
00:06:37	Come on, Bart.
00:06:38	Let's knock him down.
00:06:40	(both grunt) (both laughing) (grunting) (grunting) Wait, I have an idea.
00:06:55	(both exclaiming) Look at our kids, playing like champs.
00:07:01	Yeah. How'd you afford this kickass party?
00:07:03	Carnival ride hit me on the head.
00:07:06	Hmm...
00:07:07	So how was Nelson's party?
00:07:10	Not bad.
00:07:11	We had pizza, cake and then sang songs with Nelson's grandma.
00:07:14	But it was a one-time thing, and now I'll never see him again.
00:07:19	Nelson: Hey!
00:07:21	It's my birthday bud!
00:07:25	Yeah, yeah, it was, uh, super fun.
00:07:28	Good times.
00:07:29	Hey, Ralph, have I got half a sandwich for you.
00:07:32	Bart, where you going?
00:07:33	I saved you a seat, best friend.
00:07:35	(gasps) Ha-ha!
00:09:28	75% don't get the recommended amounts of calcium and vitamin d?
00:09:32	That's where their favorite cereals like trix and lucky charms can help.
00:09:37	General mills big g is the only leading line of kid cereals that has both calcium and vitamin d in every box.
00:09:43	Check for this banner on the cereals they ..
00:09:47	Like cinnamon toastcrunch and cocoa puffs.
00:09:49	Help them get more of what they need with general mills kid cereals.
00:10:12	Hey, best friend, I got you a present.
00:10:14	An entire case of pool cue chalk.
00:10:17	Huh? Huh?
00:10:18	We can make the tip of anything blue.
00:10:21	Um, Nelson, I was just thinking about us being best friends.
00:10:25	Whoa! Me, too!
00:10:27	We are so connected!
00:10:29	Look, um, I don't have time for new friends.
00:10:32	I got a lot on my plate.
00:10:33	I've got a big report due on the Nile River-- topic sentence, bibliography, page numbers-- it's nuts.
00:10:40	(grunts) Dude...
00:10:41	You made me get water on my cheek.
00:10:47	(grunting) Bart is my best friend now, which means no one picks on him ever again.
00:10:56	Okay! Okay!
00:10:56	I forgot how cool Bart was.
00:10:59	Yeah, he's awesome.
00:10:59	Good guy, good guy.
00:11:01	Isn't he?
00:11:02	I've known him for years, but I ran into him at a party and we really clicked.
00:11:05	That's right, we're best friends now.
00:11:07	So why don't you go pick on someone smaller and weaker?
00:11:11	Good idea!
00:11:12	Let's go over to the Sunshine pre-school and wail on toddlers.
00:11:15	Yeah, we'll jump 'em while they're napping.
00:11:19	Marge: Homie...
00:11:21	Huh...?
00:11:23	When you're done putting Lisa to bed we can, uh...
00:11:27	finish what we started the other day.
00:11:29	Woo-hoo!
00:11:30	Marital sex!
00:11:31	Okay, tucked in tight, glass of water, nightlight on, no barn owls, don't do drugs, love you, good night.
00:11:38	Dad, can't you read me a story for a little bit?
00:11:40	But your mother smells like coconut.
00:11:44	(groans) Okay, sweetie, which book should I read?
00:11:47	Angelica Button and the Dragon King's Trundle Bed.
00:11:51	It's the ninth book in the Angelica Button series.
00:11:53	Oh, yeah, this is that fantasy book that even grown-ups like.
00:11:57	Broken, lonely grown-ups.
00:11:58	"Chapter One: The Ruby Stone in the Door-Portal".
00:12:02	Are you asleep yet?
00:12:04	No.
00:12:05	(sighs) "Angelica trembled "as she looked up at the stern but wise whiskers of Headmaster Greystash..." (British accent): Angelica Button, you are a mere Earthkin.
00:12:16	What business have you with the Merlinical Council?
00:12:20	I bring warning!
00:12:21	The Minister of Niceness, Lord Evilton, is not what he appears!
00:12:26	Preposterous-sss!
00:12:28	Foolish Earthkin!
00:12:30	Send her to the sorrow mines of Mount Purgatorium.
00:12:34	No!
00:12:36	(gasps) Lisa, wake up.
00:12:37	They're taking Angelica to Mount Purgatorium.
00:12:40	Oh, Dad, I'm tired.
00:12:42	We'll read more tomorrow.
00:12:44	Tomorrow?
00:12:44	But she's in trouble now.
00:12:46	I'll just read ahead without you.
00:12:47	No! We have to read it together.
00:12:51	Oh, of course.
00:12:51	Whatever you say, sweetie.
00:12:54	Nighty-night.
00:12:55	(snoring softly) (straining) (snoring) Nelson: I like to come up here and make fun of the sunset.
00:13:10	Hey, gas ball, you suck!
00:13:12	Nelson, do you ever wish you weren't a bully?
00:13:15	Mm, sometimes.
00:13:17	But it's not up to me, it's who I am.
00:13:19	I mean, a shark can't stop swimming or it'll blow up.
00:13:23	Man...
00:13:23	I never knew you were so deep.
00:13:26	Here, this is for you.
00:13:29	(gasps) A Nelson vest!
00:13:31	The sleeves were torn off by wild dogs.
00:13:34	Bart: From then on, my life changed.
00:13:36	♪ He's a rebel and he'll never, ever be any good... ♪
00:13:40	All of a sudden, I was a somebody in a school full of nobodies.
00:13:43	I could go anywhere, do anything.
00:13:45	For us, to live any other way was nuts.
00:13:49	♪ That's no reason why I can't give him all my love ♪
00:13:52	♪ He's always good to me, always treats me tenderly ♪
00:13:56	♪ 'Cause he's no rebel, no, no, no ♪
00:13:58	♪ He's no rebel, no, no, no, to me... ♪
00:14:03	(chuckles): Ah....
00:14:11	Ah.
00:14:12	(snaps fingers) So, Scotty, how do you like school?
00:14:22	(high-pitched voice): Closed!
00:14:24	(laughing) Bart: Life was perfect.
00:14:29	Lisa, I'm home!
00:14:31	Time for me to read to you!
00:14:32	Lisa's sleeping over at Janey's.
00:14:34	Apparently, her mom makes goodmac and cheese.
00:14:38	WOMAN (British accent): Homer? Homer.
00:14:43	You must read ahead.
00:14:43	Fiction is your passion!
00:14:46	Lady, you're nice, but I'm married.
00:14:48	Just read the book, you shaved ape.
00:14:51	(grunts) Ow! I can't read ahead.
00:14:54	I promised Lisa I wouldn't.
00:14:55	Just take a peek at the title of the next chapter and see if you can resist.
00:15:00	"An Unexpected Occurrence"?!
00:15:02	What could it be?
00:15:04	(laughs) We hooked him, Galahad.
00:15:07	Yes, quite.
00:15:08	Homer: "Angelica was trapped in the Suffoclock of Sandy Doom..." (whimpering) "...as Headmaster Greystash fought a battle to the finish with dark wizard Maluicious Krubb." Time to choose, Greystash.
00:15:23	If you save Angelica... you die!
00:15:28	(muffled shouting) (grunting) Good-bye... Angelica.
00:15:43	Greystash.
00:15:46	(sobbing): He killed Greystash!
00:15:48	Thanks for the spoiler there, big mouth.
00:15:52	Hey, Bart.
00:15:52	Milhouse.
00:15:53	Bart, why are you hanging around with Nelson so much?
00:15:58	He's a bully.
00:15:58	Hey, don't use the "B" word around me.
00:16:00	It's offensive.
00:16:02	Yo, bully.
00:16:03	What up, my bully?
00:16:04	How come they can say it?
00:16:06	(sighs): They just can, okay?
00:16:08	It's weird to see you as somebody's sidekick.
00:16:11	Whoa, Bart Simpson is nobody's sidekick.
00:16:14	Then why are you wearing that vest?
00:16:16	Because my chest is cold and my arms aren't.
00:16:20	I see.
00:16:20	Then I suppose you can just fly kites with whoever you want, right here in front of everyone.
00:16:26	Come on, Bart.
00:16:26	Throw the dork a bone.
00:16:29	Hmm...
00:16:29	All right, I will.
00:16:33	(both laughing) Blue and red, the colors of friendship.
00:16:43	Huh.
00:16:45	(angry grunt) Hey. Huh! Huh!
00:16:48	(groans) (panting) You're late.
00:16:51	I was waiting to smash this frog with you, and it peed in my hand.
00:16:54	(croaking) Sorry. I was, uh...
00:16:58	stealing loose grapes at the grocery store.
00:17:03	Really?
00:17:03	You callthis stealing lse grapes?
00:17:11	We were just having fun.
00:17:11	Don't get upset.
00:17:13	Oh, right.
00:17:13	Stupid Nelson always gets upset.
00:17:16	He'll probably do something stupid-- like smash his own camera!
00:17:20	(grunting) Look what you made me do!
00:17:25	Nelson, get in here!
00:17:27	The cat's eyes are runny, and I need you to dab 'em.
00:17:31	Coming, Ma!
00:17:32	See you later, lying traitor!
00:17:37	Something in your eye, Mr. Mooch?
00:17:40	Well, there's something in my ey too.
00:17:43	(sobs) Ma, what happened to the curtains?
00:17:48	I made 'em into a dress for karaoke singing.
00:18:40	well, I just got high-speed internet from at&t.
00:18:42	- It's really fast. - yeah. what's that like?
00:18:47	( shouting fearfully ) Kinda like that.
00:18:57	♪
00:18:58	95 ..
00:19:01	..
00:19:03	And a one-year term.
00:19:05	♪
00:19:30	>@yúv$ healthywithout taste?
00:19:40	A man can only try...
00:19:43	and try...and try.
00:19:45	I heard eating whole grain oats can help lower my cholesterol.
00:19:49	It's gonna be tough...so tough.
00:19:53	My wife and I want to lower our cholesterol, but finding healthy food that tastes good is torturous.
00:19:59	Your father is suffering.
00:20:00	[ Male Announcer ]Honey Nut Cheerios tastes great and can help lower cholesterol.
00:20:03	Bee Happy.Bee Healthy.
00:20:06	♪ ♪
00:20:24	(whispers): I just hit a major marshmallow vein.
00:20:26	Oh! I think it goes all the way to the bottom.
00:20:30	No, thanks.
00:20:30	What's wrong?
00:20:31	Me and Nelson were best friends, and now I think he's gonna kill me!
00:20:35	Bully problem, eh?
00:20:36	You know what they say-- all bullies are cowards.
00:20:38	It's not true-- they're brave, 'cause they're strong.
00:20:43	(groans) (yells) Bart, we need to talk.
00:20:51	(grunts) I feel so bad about freaking out on you.
00:20:55	It'll never happen again, I swear.
00:20:57	Um... okay.
00:21:00	Best friends?
00:21:02	Forever?
00:21:03	No!
00:21:04	I can't do it.
00:21:04	You're a nut bar, a whack job!
00:21:06	A kooka-dooka!
00:21:07	Please, just leave me alone.
00:21:09	Best not to get involved.
00:21:11	Agreed.
00:21:14	(whimpers) Looks like you've made your choice.
00:21:17	Make sure your affairs are in order.
00:21:20	I've set up a trust.
00:21:21	It bypasses the inheritance tax.
00:21:23	Only till 2008.
00:21:23	Look into it!
00:21:27	(sobbing): Oh...
00:21:30	Oh, Greystash...
00:21:32	Greystash!
00:21:34	Oh, hello, Lisa.
00:21:34	Come on, Dad, read the last chapter.
00:21:36	Everyone says there's a big surprise.
00:21:38	I bet Angelica discovers thatshe'sa wizard.
00:21:41	Uh... how would you feel if something bad happened to Greystash?
00:21:46	It would be the day my childhood ended.
00:21:46	(screams) Come on, read, read!
00:21:50	(whimpering): Mm... mm...
00:21:52	"Angelica was trapped in the Suffoclock of Sandy Doom..." Time to choose, Greystash.
00:21:58	If you save Angelica, you die!
00:22:01	Why are you stopping?
00:22:02	We're almost at the happy ending.
00:22:05	Homer: No book is gonna make my daughter sad.
00:22:08	Time to do what I do best-- lie to a child!
00:22:11	"Greystash looked Krubb right in the eye and said..." Mustache power: activate!
00:22:19	("Stars and Stripes Forever" playing) (kisses mustache) (roars) Oh, man, I can't believe you beat me, but you did.
00:22:36	I somehow escaped from the hourglass!
00:22:41	And now, to go on living!
00:22:46	(laughing, cheering) The end.
00:22:53	Is that really how it ends?
00:22:54	What happened to the Merlinical Council?
00:22:56	Uh... they went to Star WarsLand and fought star wars.
00:23:00	Dad, you can read to me anytime.
00:23:03	Homer: Now Lisa won't know about death till it strikes someone close to her.
00:23:17	Eh... Dad's ending is better.
00:23:20	Okay, field-trippers, welcome to the Springfield Tide Pools, nature's most fecund ecosystem.
00:23:25	Who will spot the playful abalone?
00:23:28	The mighty winkle?
00:23:29	I think it might be you, Sherri.
00:23:32	(gasps) Now, remember, these pools can be dangerous, so everyone pick a buddy.
00:23:37	Bart'smybuddy.
00:23:39	Good boy, Nelson.
00:23:40	Squeeze him extra tight for safety.
00:23:42	Ah...
00:23:44	We sure are far from the rest of 'em.
00:23:44	(nervous chuckle) Funny how that happened, huh?
00:23:49	Come with me.
00:23:49	(Bart whimpers) (grunts) Nelson, please don't kill me.
00:23:54	Remember when we made fun of Cinco de Mayo?
00:23:56	I called it "Stinko de Mayo." We laughed so hard.
00:23:59	Bart...
00:24:01	you are a bad friend.
00:24:04	S-Say again?
00:24:06	You never liked me forme.
00:24:07	You liked that I protected you and gave you a vest and stole milk boxes for you.
00:24:13	I hate milk!
00:24:14	It comes from cow wangs!
00:24:15	There you go again.
00:24:16	You act all nice, and then you go crazy.
00:24:19	Well, maybe I get jealous.
00:24:21	But it's just because...
00:24:23	I never had a best friend before.
00:24:28	Um, Nelson, was the water always up to our necks?
00:24:32	(water rushing) Nelson?
00:24:35	Help! Help!
00:24:36	Put this on.
00:24:37	Where did you get it?
00:24:39	Dude gave it to me.
00:25:01	(inhaling) Aah! Man lips!
00:25:06	KIDS (chanting): Skinner loves Bart!
00:25:06	Skinner loves Bart!
00:25:10	Shut up! I'm just giving him CPR, the kiss of life.
00:25:14	And if anyone loves Bart, it's Nelson.
00:25:15	WhereisNelson?
00:25:16	I'm sorry, Nelson never woke up.
00:25:19	What?!
00:25:19	Never woke up, because...
00:25:20	he never passed out-- he's right over there.
00:25:23	(musical grunting) Hey, thanks for saving me, man.
00:25:28	Course I saved you-- you're my field trip buddy.
00:25:31	Andnothingelse.
00:25:33	You mean...?
00:25:34	Exactly.
00:25:35	You're barf to me now.
00:25:37	(musical grunting) (sighs): Oh, Nelson...
00:25:49	I'll never forget that week we were best friends.
00:25:53	(lilting Western musical theme playing) Haw haw!
00:26:02	I touched your heart!
00:26:15	(slurps) (loud sobbing) Greystash! Greystash!
00:26:21	Gee, you're really upset about this Greystash thing.
00:26:24	Don't say his name.
00:26:25	In your mouth, it sounds like dirt!
00:26:28	Homer, it's just a book.
00:26:29	No man should outlive his fictional wizard.
00:26:33	No man!
00:26:35	(sobbing) Captioned by Media Access Group at BH access.wgbh.org Shh.
00:28:07	0 ?

Word Map

Hell Bart Come Homer bully always lower Angelica sobbing Time Greystash married Okay cereals wish friends wizard happy husband cholesterol right know Look best Whoa show read What make help grunts grunting laughing think good happened love kill birthday Well Yeah going Just upset Good party made water come kids playing Nelson Marge gonna friend like book Lisa nice gasps

About Us | Help | DMCA | Terms of Use
Privacy Policy

mReplay LiveDash is a registered trademark of mReplay Corporation. The information provided with mReplay LiveDash is for informational purposes only. For more information, please see our terms of use. The network logos used on mReplay LiveDash are registered trademarks of those respective companies, including Fox, NBC, CBS, PBS, ABC, FX, TNT, ESPN, ESPN2, TBS, USA, MTV, VH1, Spike, A&E, Bravo, AMC, TLC, Animal Planet, ABC Family, Cartoon Network, Disney, CNN, CNBC, Fox News, MSNBC, Comedy Central, Entertainment, TV Land and Oxygen. These networks, Fox, NBC, CBS, PBS, ABC, FX, TNT, ESPN, ESPN2, TBS, USA, MTV, VH1, Spike, A&E, Bravo, AMC, TLC, Animal Planet, ABC Family, Cartoon Network, Disney, CNN, CNBC, Fox News, MSNBC, Comedy Central, Entertainment, TV Land and Oxygen, are not affiliated with mReplay LiveDash, or mReplay Corporation.